Have you ever noticed how a person's attention works? In every second of time we are looking for something that we can catch on with our eyes or thoughts. And we try to ignore insignificant things (if we focused on them, we would go crazy).
The same thing happens with girls. True, unlike things, their attention is always directed to men (although they don’t show it). This process is ongoing.
How to get a girl's attention? Obviously, you need to become the kind of guy who will stand out from the crowd.
And here we are talking now.
social proof
Or in another way, proof of your relevance among others. When everyone seeks your attention, listens to what you have to say, laughs at your jokes, and considers you the life of the party, then your social proof is considered high.
The same thing happens when you just actively communicate with everyone, your voice is loud enough, and any dialogues in the company always take place with your participation.
This way you stand out from other guys. As a result: it becomes easier to attract the attention of a girl.
Surely, you noticed such guys and remembered in their behavior the signs that I just described. Your task is to try to behave in the same way as they do..
Of course, if you have always been by nature very a shy person and was afraid not only to dominate, but even just to participate in a conversation, then such a role would be too uncomfortable for you.
Be not like everyone else
There is another trick when you behave in exactly the opposite way, unlike most of your company.
If everyone laughs out loud, then you can make your face “brick”. And vice versa. The main thing is that you do it very confidently, and not be silent just because you are afraid to say something (the difference between the first and second is easy to feel by looking at your facial expression).
If everyone talks a lot, then you just listen, occasionally inserting interesting phrases, jokes and ironic remarks.
Flirting and humor
While other fans try too polite behavior, fawning, boring stories and other platitudes, you can stand out from their background.
How to do it?
Instead of banal communication (we are talking about both meeting a new girl and communicating with an already familiar one), it is enough to use flirting and humor.
Flirting affects her emotional part, directing her thoughts in the direction we need. In translation from English, flirting is a “love game”. Perhaps you have already seen examples of such communication, when at first glance a guy and a girl are discussing some platitudes. And often there is little logic in the conversation. But if you look closely, they discuss these platitudes in a playful voice. And it is clear that the girl is interested.
Now let's talk about why humor is needed, and how to attract the attention of a girl with the help of jokes.
For just a guy who considers the female sex to be gentle, kind creatures, pinning a girl up is a sign of bad taste. And not only simple - most of the men are afraid to do this, because. They think that she will be offended and leave.
But if you have long understood that quite logical norms of morality do not work with girls for a long time, then why not try to use jokes in communicating with girls?
Banter causes strong emotional outbursts and shows you as a sexually attractive male who is not afraid to challenge her, and is successful with the opposite sex (if he boldly jokes with her).
And the more beautiful girl, the bolder you can make these jokes. The exception is modest or just pretty girls.
Try to use jokes with a dozen girls, and you will see how much more they "get on" you.
How to attract the attention of a familiar girl?
Both of the above methods are suitable for attracting the attention of both unfamiliar and familiar girls.
However, if your goal is an old friend, classmate, or just an acquaintance, then this method is also perfect. Its essence is that you you change your image to the complete opposite.
If you have been serious up to now, now start joking more often. If you were polite, now you can become a little arrogant, and sometimes even slightly aggressive.
But there is one danger: a girl can easily “bite” you if, despite such a change in image, you continue to try to communicate with her too often, catch her eye, or return to your previous behavior in non-standard situations.
If until today you tried to contact her often and always listened carefully to what exactly she was saying, now become sharply cold, do not pay attention to her when she says something, and respond more indifferently to her words. This technique is called “next” (from the “near-next” technique), when you alternate between interested and disinterested behavior.
Each of the above techniques in its effect can be compared with a fat wallet and a pumped-up body combined. However, even if a girl has a choice between a rich jock and a guy who knows how to evoke emotions, the choice will be made in favor of emotions. Basically, as always...
There will be more homosexuals.
I paint regardless of whether they look at me or not. And anyway, what's with the cosmetics *(they pay attention to naked love! checked!
When how) depends on your mood mainly, if you are on a positive note, you walk proudly and blah blah blah, then they will notice anyway, and if you are all in yourself and have not turned into a gray mass for a long time, then there is no need for an answer)
The smell of fragrant perfume or clothes (tastefully, stylishly).
Do you want to be bragged about here?
This happens almost every day, or every day. But I don’t really like such attention, because decent young people don’t often come up or give compliments, usually it’s just that they drive up in expensive cars, or random passers-by guys, sometimes some kind of “freaks” ", or uncles who at the time of marriage give children. Decent only in cafes or restaurants offer to get acquainted, and even then they are all imagining peacocks. Well, yes, they pay attention. But I have a negative attitude to this, I don’t like such views, and their presumptive thoughts. I won’t explain where I got the following information from, but here’s an example: A girl walks by and a guy passes by thinking about her - oh what, I would like her .... .this negative thought thrown into her deforms the biofield.acts like an evil eye.After such several times, the girl may have problems in the female part, due to the negative information embedded in the biofield.Therefore, it’s better to let the people whom I know give compliments than dubious personalities turn into outside.Foreigners are often asked to help them find their way to some hotel or shop in the old Riga.. Not those who offer to have sex with their eyes, but normal people who came here to relax and got lost in an old woman. Because education in our country suffers, and no one really knows English, German, or Spanish - I pay a minute of attention to these people ..
3. Act in an unexpected or unusual way in a typical situation, break patterns.
4. Role play.
5. Satisfy her sense of uniqueness and uniqueness.
6. Pretend you already know her.
7. Show care for her.
1. Humor
This is one of the oldest and most effective ways dispose to communication strangers. Let's go straight to the examples. Take a look at the following dialogue below.
Girl, are your legs tired?
- No, but what?
- The fact is that you always do not get out of my head.
Or:
- Girl, what size shoes do you have?
(- What for do you need it?)
(- The fact is that I recently found a glass slipper and now I am looking for its owner.)
35.
- And I have 45. Well, that's how we met.
Such phrases to start a dialogue give incredible results, but, above all, with women who are in a good mood and are ready to communicate. Sometimes women are simply not able to think in a playful way - then you need to resort to using other methods. For information on what mood you need to be in to say funny things, read the article "Sarcastic Approach". It also includes the following phrases:
Girl, do you know what makes Tefal dishes good? The fact that it can hit on the head of someone who is very tired, and since you don’t have this valuable dish now, I decided to find out your name and flirt a little.
Why are you looking at me as if your husband had gone on a business trip?
Girl, your back is white... Don't worry, you can't see it under your jacket anyway.
I noticed that you noticed me, and I would like to notice that I noticed you too.
You know, I have absolutely no idea what I should say so that we get to know each other, but, let's better imagine that I have already said all this.
Girl, I'm from the employment service. Can I take you?
Of the fun methods, one cannot but recall my favorite several years ago, the so-called "Hello Conveyor". What is its essence? Regardless of which direction the woman is walking, catch up with her and walk parallel to her for a couple of tens of meters. Then turn your head in her direction, smile sincerely and say "Hi!". Next, whatever her answer, walk silently with her for another couple of tens of meters. And turn your head again, smile again and say "Hi!" Do this several times until she smiles or is indignant. Until she completely turns her attention to you, continue to bend your insistent friendly line. When she mistakes you for a comedian, crazy or main annoyance of the day, she will most likely try to find out if you know any other words besides the word "hello". To this, as always, smiling and radiating composure, answer: "Good afternoon!". With this method, nine out of ten women will make you smile. And this is already a lot.
2. Intrigue her, arouse curiosity
It's obvious that most guys are looking for some magical guaranteed success approach. As a rule, these are guys who have no experience in street dating, but in my seminars I offer them basic outlines so that they always find something to say. Here is one of the best options start dating:
I want to ask you an unusual question. Have you ever practiced meditation?
Apparently, the phrase "unusual question" certainly arouses women's curiosity, and the use of such "blurred", little-understood words as "meditation" inspires a woman to find her own interpretations. In our country, where most women are single and busy learning something "spiritual" like yoga, herbal medicine, card reading or coffee, the chances are that a woman will be intrigued and impressed by the insight and sensuality of a man asking this question, increase several times. And here is an equally effective phrase:
Do you want me to tell you something that no one has ever told you?
Of course, after that, you need to say something that will be a complete surprise for her. It may also be a monologue about her "second" personality, hiding behind a mask of a bitch, which I cited in the article "Principles of marketing that help in relations with women." This may be a note of something very unusual and curious in her appearance or behavior, for example: "You are the most creative person that I have ever met. Do you know that you have limitless talent? That's for sure, because I can see you" . It might also be something interesting. philosophical thought, for example: "I read somewhere that about 80% of people in the world give up: they stop growing, stop dreaming and calm down by the age of 22. Then they become eye doctors (teachers, lawyers, etc. to choose from) so that they mothers felt good", or with no less success: "Recently I heard that two people do not start to get bored when they are physically in one place for a long time. They get bored if they are far apart mentally and spiritually. Do you agree with this statement?"
I will not hide the fact that arousing female curiosity is my favorite way to make acquaintances. But it requires the ability to maintain a conversation in the same direction in which you started it. This is critical in this method. If, for example, you said the phrase: “Girl, have you ever seen a flower called Edelweiss?”, you can be sure that you will capture the attention of a stranger, but after that it is highly desirable to tell her something about this flower. This will make you more interested in her. And if you still read Eduard Asadov's poem "Edelweiss" by heart, then consider that you bought a ticket for a flight to her heart.
3. Act in an unexpected or unusual way in a typical situation, break patterns
The fact that you approached an unfamiliar woman on the street can already be attributed to extraordinary behavior, since very few men can boast of skills in this art. And your unusual behavior can completely switch her attention to you. Even this seemingly simple approach contains a pattern break:
Young woman! (look closely at her legs) Do image makers tell the truth that girls wearing short skirts should have their left leg (look at her left leg) one and a half times shorter than her boyfriend's right leg (look at her right leg)?
This includes the "Souvenir" method, which has an incredibly high efficiency. A simple, cheerful item is given - a cute keychain, a flower, a postcard, a simple drawing, etc. The souvenir is given under the pretext or "just like that". Of course, flowers lead to the biggest coefficient useful action, so this method is ideal for approaching a woman on the street for the first time in your life. After the words "This is for you" I recommend the phrase: "I really wanted to show this rose how beautiful you are..."
Any unusual behavior attracts attention. But remember, I told you that if you want to succeed, your originality must be different for the better. Therefore, think at your leisure what you can do that will positively distinguish you from the crowd, which will attract the attention of beautiful strangers. And here are the things I did:
He took the women by the arm and led them across the road.
I dedicated and sang my favorite songs to unknown women.
Showed strangers tricks with coins.
He shook hands with women as they stepped off the escalator.
He lit and handed sparklers to women.
4. Role play
The bottom line is that you are impersonating someone who you are not, but who has a lot of chances to interest a woman. For example, for a psychologist, journalist, astrologer, traveler, poet, perfumer, stuntman, traveler, etc., etc. That is, for a person professionally engaged in those things that are terribly interesting to women. These things primarily include: interpersonal relationships, spiritual and mysterious hobbies, adventure, fashion and art.
I remember walking up to women on the street a couple of years ago saying the following:
Girl, could you help me... The fact is that I am writing a diploma about the culture of the ancient Incas. So, in the National Geographic magazine, I read that this people has one mystery that scientists have not yet been able to solve ...
Yet more beautiful than the face of your god.
Yet more wicked than the daemon""""s forked tongue.
Dead men eat it all the time.
Live men, who eat it, die slowly.
After that I continued:
I will gladly translate it for you. In Russian, it sounds something like this: "More beautiful than the face of your god. Even more evil than the forked tongue of a demon. Dead people eat it all the time. The living who eat it slowly die." The most popular options are: time, love, life. However, none of them fit exactly. And what do you think?..
Women began to come up with their own options, asking me about what I do. They were really intrigued by communication with a man who studies the ancient Incas. In fact, all my knowledge about the ancient Incas was limited to one article. However, in this article there was not a word about this riddle. This riddle was taken from my old notebook English language And I really don't know the answer to it. But it is not important. Most importantly, I aroused women's curiosity and got used to the role of a person who was obviously interesting to them.
The most popular question that my students ask me about this method is: "How to behave later when you start dating a woman?" If you have serious plans for her, then the best recipe Literally at the first meetings, she will confess to her: “To be honest, I’m doing something completely different from what I told you about. But I wanted to get to know you so much that I went for it in order to interest you and see you again.” I assure you, your relationship will not suffer from this.
5. Satisfy her sense of uniqueness and uniqueness
This method consists, first of all, in compliments. It is very effective to start acquaintance with compliments if they are not banal, that is, if a woman does not hear them every day. Admiring her skin, neck, hands is quite suitable. You can learn more about the art of a compliment in the article "Compliments". I also often used all sorts of variations of this method. Example:
Most people watch the World Cup because it only happens once every four years. But I'd rather talk to you, because the chance to meet a woman like you comes once in a lifetime.
A classic example of this method of dating is the "Conveyor of Compliments" by the famous American specialist in the field of dating and seduction, Ross Jeffries. Many underestimate this method, but when tested, it showed amazing effectiveness. So what is it. Choose a woman, then approach her from the side, choose something about her that you can sincerely praise, and say:
You have very beautiful hands.
- Thank you.
- I like your hat.
- Thank you.
- Yes, and the color of your nails is very attractive.
- Thank you.
“Actually, if you think about it, I like everything about you.
- ...(smile)
- My name is Victor (Gennady, Alexey, Andrey). What name are you called, a brilliant example of natural perfection?
- ...(laugh)
- And I especially like your laughter. With pleasure I would write it down in my alarm clock and wake up to it every morning.
- ...(laugh)
- Yes, and in general, I think you have very good taste. Do you know why? Because you laugh at my jokes.
6. Pretend you already know her
Our American colleagues have long had the so-called three-second rule. It lies in the fact that if you approach a woman within three seconds after you saw her, the probability that you will start a conversation with her is doubled. The rule is based on the fact that a woman does not have time to analyze what is happening, does not have time to think, and therefore it is easier to "lead" her.
One of better ways dating according to this rule is a situation where a man genuinely recognizes his old acquaintance in a woman passing by. Of course, for this it is not necessary to know her at all. Phrases such as "Hi, we're lucky today..." or "Hi, where have you been?" involuntarily involve a woman in a conversation. This method will bring the best results if you really sincerely believe that you know her, for example, by associating her with someone who looks like her. Then the acquaintance will take place simply because it does not look at all like an acquaintance, but like a conversation between old friends. You can call a woman by any name, and then tell in detail about the person with whom you confused her. Some women start to play along - it's most interesting with them.
For dessert, I'll offer you a way to get acquainted, which, if you have at least some acting talent, will allow you to make nine out of ten women laugh. And women's laughter is more than half the success. Just go up to the beauty you like, look deeply into her eyes and, expressing genuine curiosity, say literally the following: "I know that this sounds exactly like the most banal phrase for dating, but I'm really sure that I'm somewhere saw". Then ask what school she went to, compare with the number of your school. Ask with interest where she went on vacation last summer. In general, anything to connect her to the list of possible places where you could meet. Then sharply portray a sudden insight, accompanied by an exclamation: "Oh! Everything! I remembered! .. Recently I read some book about angels. And you were depicted on its cover." I assure you that if you say this phrase as SINCERELY as possible, she will at least smile. Then look at her and say: "Now that you smile, I am finally convinced that you are an angel. Tell me, does it hurt to fall from Olympus?" Then finish her off with your intent to record her laughter on your alarm clock, as Ross Jeffries suggested.
7. Show care for her.
Do you think there is a way to meet any woman in the world? Not? And I am sure that there is such a way, and its name is a feat. Yes, yes, we are talking about the case when a man saves a woman's life. How many literary, documentary examples, just stories or fantasies told by women that confirm the fact that a woman is literally doomed to fall in love with her savior. And indeed it is. Condescending care, nobility - these are the things that will not leave indifferent any woman. The only pity is that the chance to commit such an act falls oh, how infrequently. But you can show the simplest care for women almost everywhere.
I will give an example from life. A few years ago, my friend and I skipped lectures at the institute. Two pretty women came out of a neighboring institute, three years older than us. We line up behind them and choose the way to get to know each other. The first thing that came to my mind: "Girls, are you up to the subway?". My friend pointed out that they were carrying heavy packages and therefore it would be better to offer to help carry them. And so, when we caught up with them, I said: "Girls, are you going to the subway, or can I help you with the packages?" The conversation began with laughter, which means that half the work was done.
Therefore, use every opportunity to help a woman cope with the difficulties of life. And then the extent of her gratitude will be limitless within the limits of the possible. You can read more about this in the article "Gentlemanship". But you need to understand that in order to be able to meet women, taking care of them, you need to always be on the alert, always remember that you are ready to meet and never, never, never, miss the gifts of fate.
8. "Guess" a fact from her life.
This method is designed for your observation. If, looking at a woman, you can draw any conclusion about her lifestyle, then saying your guesses aloud can greatly interest a stranger and your conversation with her, as it were, will start by itself. For example, when you see a woman with a few scratches on her arms, you might ask her:
Do you have a cat or cat?
And if, for example, a woman has a keychain attached to her bag, which is a figurine of some cute animal, then you can approach her like this:
Girl, do you have plush toys at home? Me too! Let's introduce them.
Of course, in this method it is desirable to hit the "bull's eye". Although, if you don't guess, it doesn't matter either. Remember the fourth point of the formula for success: "Flexibly change your behavior until you reach the desired goal." If it didn't work out, try something else. Talk to her about how great it is to have a cat or plush toy at home, etc.
Admire a man. Love a woman. When and how does it happen? What affects it?
Not so long ago, on the Internet, I came across a post that helped me find the right word for my thoughts on the topic of relationships, as well as what “ignites” me in a relationship with a man, except for my desire to be with him.
Get excited! - that's the word.
Admire a man. Love a woman.
When and how does it happen? What affects it? I realized (more precisely than before) when I read the word "to admire" and thought about the fact that I also really want to admire my man.
Let not constantly (because it is simply impossible, and not necessary), but regularly. Periodically.
And I began to think, what in general in men "ignites" me and delights me? Moreover, the delight is not the kind that needs to be somehow specially caught and realized. And one that occurs at the level of the subcortex (the subconscious and its "codes", based on which one person perceives another as attractive or not attractive).
AND found this "incendiary" starting to remember the moments in which I reacted to men (moreover, different ones, and this is important in order to understand the codes of my subconscious, and not my reaction to a certain person), precisely as male representatives + attracting me in a special way ... Like a man .
It is clear that it is only my subcortex that “works” in such a way that each person will have their own signs. However, if you can remember and understand them,you can “tune in” to each other, well, if you have a desire to keep the fire of love in a relationship .
I was surprised to find that one of the signs that I had previously reacted to as important had lost its power of influence for me. Once upon a time, from a young age and then after another 11 years, I responded very much to those men who can talk: smart, interesting, meaningful. Anow it turned out that the main three of the detected signs, to which I immediately respond from the inside, conversations and conversations are no longer included. Although it is indisputable that it is much more pleasant to communicate with a smart man than with a not very smart one.
Here signs-characteristics of male behavior, they developed historically, in early childhood, and have remained to this day, taking into account polishing by time = experience, which I “turn on” in relation to a man:
* active - a man who does something (and generally acts, and does not passively recline on the couch), immediately becomes pleasant to me, even if he simply hammers a carnation into the wall. I feel like a woman in his presence and I am ready to be proud of him, even if the carnation is driven in the wrong place and not very evenly according to the man himself,
* decisive - here about taking responsibility both for your words and deeds, and for two (yourself and your woman); I generally like it when they say to me: "let's go there." The main thing is that this be said and done confidently, so that the behavior of the man, as the leader, does not raise doubts, even if in the end we don’t go out quite there; At such moments, I also immediately “light up” and just physically feel that there is a man next to me,
* risky - not necessarily big. For example, a man sat down to go karting in a recreation park and immediately became such a man-man in my eyes. No irony, honestly.
The examples are very conditional, so that it is clear that special feats are often not required from men. Getting into the area of influence is important, even something completely insignificant in terms of the amount of execution. The area of manifestation of oneself in the eyes of a woman is important.
In the same way, what has been described can be attributed to those qualities (signs) that a man "turns on" in relation to the manifestations of the feminine in a woman. I think that one of them, perhaps, will be inherent in all men if they are really in love with their woman: I want to love the woman I love... So that there is a feeling that you can’t see enough.
Therefore, my friends, the question is not at all how something looks in the eyes of the public, but which of the qualities and manifestations of men (for women) and women (for men)cause you to feel admiration or desire to admire.
Personally, I clearly articulated those, the manifestation of which I am delighted with the fact that "here he is, the man - next to me, the real one."
And you can ask your “half” about yours like this: tell me, when do you “turn on” to a woman (man) and who would you definitely pay your attention to? Or - and when we met, how did I attract your attention?
I highly recommend asking and reproducing in your behavior the signs indicated by your partner, if you want,to live not only interesting, but also incendiary and with a sense of admiration, love and inspiration.
Doctor, everyone is ignoring me!
- Next!
Founder transactional analysis Eric Berne, describing human communication, introduced a unit of communicative interaction and called it stroking. Stroking, both physical and communicative, is absolutely necessary for a person to develop and maintain good health. If it is not possible to get positive strokes in the form of recognition and praise, a person is looking for negative strokes: kicks and punishments. This can be observed especially clearly in children who lack parental praise, and they run into punishment by bad behavior, negative strokes are better than their absence. If you do without terms, it turns out that stroking is a breath of attention. What should be done so that others are more willing to give us their strokes, for example, if we make a presentation or come to a new place of work?
1. Consider the needs of your audience
At sales trainings, they always tell us that the emphasis should not be on the fact that we want to sell a certain product, but on why the buyer needs it. A person parted with money when he hopes to satisfy some of his needs. The same thing happens with attention. We are listened to attentively when our story helps to satisfy some need of the listener. If we take the time and effort to match our information to the needs of our audience, we will be rewarded with their attention and interest. It is not difficult to learn how to make such connecting bridges, you just need to remember about it. Remember the anecdote about a student who knew a question about fleas for the exam, but pulled out about fish and began his answer: “Fish live in water, they don’t have fleas, but fleas ...”
2. Ask questions
To get something, you have to give something. If we join a new team and are interested in the experience of colleagues and local traditions, or if we give a lecture and ask for the wishes of the audience, we thereby show our attention to them and, as a rule, receive more attention in our address. We show that we are open for contact and exchange. The exception is the situation when we take such a position that we ourselves do not need anything, but for others we are ready to do everything, just to be tolerated. Then those around us feel it perfectly and begin to use us one-sidedly, often without even realizing it. It is very difficult to resist such a temptation.
3. Let yourself be looked at
Do not hide, do not be afraid of the attention paid to you. Let others see your personal characteristics, interests, reactions to certain situations. If we hide in a deep hole so that no one sees our shortcomings, no one will see our virtues either. If we react with tension and embarrassment to our attentions, others may stop paying attention to us with the best of intentions so as not to cause us discomfort.
My client graduated with honors from a prestigious university, got a promising job, where she did an excellent job with her duties, but, unlike her colleagues, did not move up the career ladder. When we started to investigate what was the matter, it turned out that the girl behaves so inconspicuously at work that she merges with the walls. For this reason, they simply forgot about it.
4. Keep your distance
In order to pay attention to us, we need intrigue. Part of our personality should be visible, and the other part hidden, so that everyone can think it out as they want. If we resort to excessive self-disclosure and ingenuously tell everything about ourselves to our colleagues, students and students, there will be less interest and attention.
5. Strive for an optimal level of anxiety
When we perform in front of a large audience or come to work in a new team, it is natural to feel some anxiety. It helps us to mobilize our reserves and show our best side. If anxiety is too strong, it no longer helps us, but hinders us, we become constrained, uncollected, insecure, make more mistakes, or even fall into a stupor. Therefore, excessive anxiety must be reduced. But don't fight it. If we fight and forbid ourselves to worry, we shame ourselves for it, the anxiety only intensifies. If we recognize her as our assistant, this alone can help reduce anxiety. American author Ron Hoff titled his book on the art of public speaking I See You Naked. Such a presentation in some cases helps to reduce anxiety, by presenting it, we project our feeling of insecurity onto the audience and suffer less from it ourselves. You can use many other methods or come up with your own. To reduce the significance of the situation, you can think about what place today’s speech occupies in the context of our whole life as a whole, whether it will be important for us in five years, in ten, in fifteen. You can imagine your anxiety as a being separate from us, talk to him, find out what he wants, and come to some kind of agreement. You can draw her. It can be imagined that it is not I who should now make a report, but my friend, who himself is very afraid and asked me to pretend that I am he. If anxiety goes off scale and nothing helps, it remains possible to seek help from a psychologist. In particular, this is shown by those whose self-esteem is extremely fragile and almost entirely dependent on others, like a thermometer on the weather.
6. Play or be yourself? Both!
If we have a one-time public performance or a series of lectures, we can play someone who we are not, imagine the desired image and try to reproduce it. If we come to work in a new team, we are unlikely to be able to constantly be in the role, unless we have outstanding acting skills. Therefore, it is more effective not to play someone fundamentally different, but to emphasize your own winning features. Who am I? A charismatic leader, an ironic expert, a sultry macho, an impeccable dandy, a sensual beauty in the style of Marilyn Monroe or an aloof star in the style of Greta Garbo, an iron lady like Margaret Thatcher, or a mischievous clown like Wuppy Goldberg? Of course, a living person is more complex than any image. At the same time, if you find one or several close ones among recognizable attractive images, it helps to highlight those features that can successfully attract attention.
7. Show your different sides
Too uniform image quickly becomes boring. Therefore, films are so popular in which the hero or heroine is transformed, developing the missing qualities in himself, the superficial beauty becomes smart, competent and independent, and the eternally cold-blooded knight learns to experience feelings without fear or reproach. The same thing happens in ordinary life. We experience a surge of interest when we learn that our colleague with the manners of a playboy turns out to be a devoted husband and a touching father, and a pedantic university lecturer writes songs and dances flamenco, an executive and modest secretary girl goes to work on roller skates, and a soft and kind boss - laughter in a critical situation will quickly build everyone at attention.
8. Use a subject plan
The heroine of Somerset Maugham's novel "The Theater" Julia at the right moment of the performance took out a bright red scarf and diverted the attention of the audience from another actress, her rival. In ordinary life, too, one should not neglect the objective plan. Our hairstyle, clothing, perfume, accessories, workplace can, at our choice, help us attract attention or distract it, which is also necessary, for example, operational officers, private detectives, psychoanalysts, bodyguards. Depending on the image we have chosen (see point 6), the subject plan will also be different - classic or avant-garde, elegant or exotic. Taking care of our appearance and workplace, we please others, help them satisfy their need for contemplation of the beautiful, thereby, again, showing attention to them in order to get their attention in return.
9. Watch who gets your attention
Thus, you can find more and more new ways to attract attention and try them on yourself, borrow suitable ones and modify them in a way that suits you. Successful colleagues or representatives of other fields of activity, but similar in character to you, can be a good example.
10. Keep a sense of proportion, but in moderation
It's very easy to get attention. Enough, for example, to come to work naked. Is this attention needed? In some situations, yes. For example, in advertising, strong negative feelings from viewing are preferable to moderate positive ones, because remembering is better in the first case. In private life, everyone decides for himself whether he needs negative attention. If not necessary, then you have to take into account the line between extravagance and vulgarity, brightness and absurdity, originality and narcissism. An immoderate sense of proportion can also be harmful, depriving us of creative fulfillment. Our internal scales, on which the measure is weighed, must be in good condition. Otherwise, we can fall into one or another extreme - to refuse all strokes and keep ourselves on a starvation diet, or, conversely, randomly gain any possible strokes, without considering the consequences.
