They say women don't understand men... How many times have you and your girlfriends tried to figure out what's really going on in their head when they see a girl for the first time? What grabs their attention? "Signorina" invites readers to take a look at the results of a survey by the Italian men's magazine "Adversus", revealing to us the truth about what prompts young man start a relationship and what kind of things attract men in women.
1. Desire to look into his eyes without thinking. An open look into the eyes, symbolizing trust in a man and his own independence.
Men never cease to amaze... This item of the survey received the most votes. We never think that men are attracted not just by a certain set of physical qualities, but, above all, by our attitude towards them.
2. Long hair . The eternal symbol of true femininity, which triumphantly returns after the predominance of "minimalist" trends. Long hair is liked by most men and undoubtedly impresses the stronger sex. This is what a man will first of all pay attention to when he sees a woman for the first time.
3. A pair of endless legs. Nothing can be done about it ... Stunning long legs can completely drive the stronger sex crazy. A miniskirt combined with beautiful legs is your win-win weapon.
4. Sexy shoes. Men like girls who are not afraid to wear high heels. The graceful thin heel causes admiration and excites instincts. Not all women can afford it, but the excuse that shoes are uncomfortable in everyday life is not a sufficient excuse.
5. Absencebra. Of course, not everyone can afford this, because gravity has its own laws, but the knowledge that a girl does not wear underwear can take a flight of fantasy into the unknown wilds, and the expectation of intimacy is too strong a test for the male psyche.
6. Foreign accent. A mysterious foreigner... what could be more attractive to men? Her hair has the scent of a distant foreign land, and her voice with a slight accent seems incredibly sexy and attractive.
7. Speed and fast cars. The men of the Italian edition claim that a girl who loves speed and owns a sports car has unconditional power over them! Few of them are able to cope with such a temptation.
8. Stockings. Young people are not able to resist if the girl wears stockings and does not advertise it. Men have a flair for such things ... Awareness of this can cause real hormonal storms in the body of the stronger sex.
9. Talk about sex. Some may be intimidated, because men like to think that only they can talk about certain things, while women never do. However, the fact that a girl is not afraid to communicate on certain topics is irresistibly attractive to most.
10. Piercing or small tattoo which not everyone can see. Hidden from prying eyes, according to the survey, alluring effect on some men. For example, a belly button piercing.
Posted a translation of someone else's private comment about women's resistance during violence:
“People wonder why the woman didn’t “resist” during the rape. However, they are not surprised when the woman refuses to argue. They are not surprised when she is interrupted. They are not surprised when she deliberately speaks in a quieter and more impassive voice. when women give clear signals that they are not interested in conversation, or that they are uncomfortable with someone else's physical proximity, but their desires are ignored.No one is surprised by everyday social situations in which women are quiet, ignored, perceived as invisible, because such social situations are considered normal, they seem normal to women, they seem normal to men, because we all grew up in the same cultural sandbox, drinking the same potion.
And all of a sudden, when women are being raped, all these natural and invisible views social behavior are used as evidence that the woman was not actually raped. Because she didn't fight, she didn't scream loudly, she didn't run, she didn't kick, she didn't hit with her fist. She let him into her room, although it was clear that he wanted to. She flirted with him, she kissed him. After a while, she stopped saying no.
These rules of social behavior that are instilled in women are not just butter for the wheels of patriarchy. Women are taught that obedience to these rules is their protection, and that they will be punished for breaking these rules.
It's a fucking rude awakening from illusions when a woman is being raped and follows the rules she's been taught to follow all her life - she doesn't refuse to talk, she doesn't refuse to flirt, she doesn't walk away ignoring him, she doesn't hit, she doesn't scream, she doesn't fight, she doesn't raises her voice, does not deny that she liked kissing - and it turns out that now she will be accused of rape. She followed the rules. Thus, the rules, which, presumably, should have protected her from being raped. The very rules, the non-observance of which makes her a "legitimate target" for verbal and physical abuse.
The punishment was supposed to be violation these rules, not for their observance. Because every time she spoke in a low voice, renounced her own boundaries, did not withdraw, allowed her own needs to be ignored, she received positive reinforcement from society. And now they tell her that she did everything wrong, that it was an exceptional case when everything should have been done the other way around, and she should have known about it, yeah.
If you have ever observed the gendered social behavior of women, you have seen how a woman harriedly accepts unpleasant attention to her; how talking woman interrupt; how a woman stubbornly denies being upset by a public humiliation; how a woman is pawed because of what she is wearing; how a woman refuses to argue - and did not say or do anything, then you have no right to ask the question: “Why didn’t she resist?”
She didn't fight back because you told her not to. Never. Under no circumstances. You told her that this is normal, necessary and right."
The translated text itself does not surprise me: indeed, what kind of upbringing is, such are its fruits, everything is logical. But in the discussion on this text, lual a girl noted with the question "Where do you find such women?" - and I suppose I have something to add. Such women can be found not only at the reception of a psychotherapist; it is in gender communication that situations are often created in which the adequate resistance of a woman is simply not taken into account. Moreover, these situations are not created for no reason, but due to the fact that there really are women playing the game "I'm not like that, I'm waiting for the tram" - and the experience of men communicating with such women leads to the fact that the rest have to dose resistance "for themselves and for that guy" just to be heard. And this is a hell of a task, even if the girl was not brought up in line with "gendered social behavior" and the prevailing femininity. Just humanly difficult. Therefore, in place of "such a woman" in essence, anyone can be. I remember that I visited it once - and this case became one of the most original pearls in the treasury of my life experience. I'm telling.
I have been a rather lively girl since childhood: at the age of eight, my father taught me to fight; at ten I beat the boy who tried to tie my pigtails to the desk; at thirteen I drove a briefcase to an adult uncle, who was rushing after me into women's toilet... In general, there was usually no problem with rebuff in my life. Until I met Vasya.
Friends told me about Vasya long before our direct acquaintance: he is smart, and good, and lonely, and we should have been introduced ... Therefore, when I met him at a party with the same friends, mutual interest was warmed up already in sufficient degree. And when for something economically necessary I had to go to my own apartment, Vasya's offer to accompany me looked quite natural, and refusal would be, frankly, an inadequate action.
So, we have item 1: "She herself invited him!"
It is clear that the same mutual interest did not allow Vasya and I to grab the household necessities and immediately dump: we sat down on the sofa to chat ... imperceptibly he took my hand (it was nice) ... and smoothly and naturally we began to kiss (It was still nice, by the way).
Did you know? item 2: "She kissed him and she liked it!"
Further, in the best testaments of women's novels, the kisses began to deepen. But here's the problem: you see, I haven't decided anything for myself yet. No, of course, the flattering description of Vasya by my friends pushed me to take a closer look at him - but, you know, not so close. The proposed level of intimacy began to strain me, which I immediately made clear to Vasya, removing his hands from those places where, in my opinion, they were not supposed to be. And then the strange thing started.
Contrary to my naive expectations, Vasya's hands kept trying to return to where they were taken from. Can't express how surprised I was! "Vasya!" I asked, "didn't you fall from the oak? Take your hands off, Vasya!" He did not answer, but the goldfish Vasya, and in best traditions Russian fables continued to "listen and eat." This positional struggle continued for some rather significant time, after which I realized that I was weaker. Stupidly physically weaker, and gently enough to remove the hands of a well physically developed man from where I don’t want to feel them, I probably won’t be able to ... It was all the more impossible to reach out with words, and screaming in my own closed apartment would be riding idiocy. The specter of rape loomed concretely on the horizon.
Then I remembered paragraphs 1-2, and clearly saw how stupid my application to the police would look, because there were no traces of my resistance on Vasya.
Let's face it, I found myself between two fires: to put Vasya a black eye is inconvenient in front of friends, they consider him good, what kind of inadequate actions on my part? Do not give Vasya a black eye - well, damn it, but how else to explain to him that I am against it? That is, understand me correctly: to some extent I even liked Vasya, and if it had not been so, not then and not in this way, but, say, after a slightly longer courtship, then I might not have had anything against it. But it was - so. And so I had a lot of things against it.
As a result, I had to figure out how to punch a living person in the face; moreover, a person who, in general, “didn’t want anything bad”: he wanted to give me something that, in other circumstances, I might have gladly taken myself. But since it was all the same in these circumstances, I took a deep breath, and nevertheless punched him in the face: being, by the way, quite ready to take advantage of the moment of his confusion and run away, because the devil knows what to expect from such Vasya ! I didn’t want to get a black eye in return.
Vasya looked at me with clean, honest eyes, not in the least clouded by either lust or rage, and meekly asked: “So you don’t want to? as a form of coquetry. He simply did not hear them! Well, these are the dude's ideas about coquetry, yes, but he didn't want anything bad. And we took the desired household garbage, and peacefully returned to our friends. That is, it was enough for Vasya to explain - but to explain in a language he understood - and the specter of rape was removed from the horizon.
But I remember very well the difficulty I experienced in solving this problem.
So the question "Where do you find such women?" seems empty to me.
So, why do girls break down? Many modern girls and women have certain attitudes and beliefs imposed on them by society and the upbringing of their parents. These beliefs are sometimes referred to as cognitive attitudes. The most common of them: “intimacy only after the wedding”, “... only for love”, “I’m not the kind to give right away”, “I don’t know you well”, “I don’t do this until the eighth (and ad infinitum) date” .
We know for sure that the girl is ready to have sex with you, but the beliefs in her head interfere with her and fetter her desires. Unfortunately, we will not be able to change the built-in settings for years in one evening, but we can successfully bypass them, giving signals and influencing the desires of a woman and communicating, so to speak, with the unconscious.
We must clearly understand that having sex should be the choice of a girl. In addition, we must exclude any social pressure on the girl. It does not matter what you will be with her in a row - the first or the hundredth.
How can overcome resistance? Exist different models behaviors, consider the most popular of them
So, ways to seduce a girl:
#1 Give the girl a choice.(Note, here we are not talking about transferring responsibility for making decisions to a girl, because the proposed options can all be beneficial for you) This is something in the style of “choice without choice”. If you really try to convince or force a girl to do what she does not want or doubts, then most likely she will feel uncomfortable and will understand even better that she does not need this, perhaps even out of principle. Instead, offer options. Always generate new ideas and alternative ways and after a while return to the initial goals. If people feel that they are choosing their own destiny, they will be happier making their choice.
#2 Don't continue if the girl is clearly asking you to stop. If you see a red light, it is wiser to stop so as not to crash your car. If you're already kissing her breasts and she asks you to stop because she feels uncomfortable, go into the early stages temporarily to relieve tension, or gently stop all attempts at all. They say it's better to wait half an hour than to persuade two hours. The pause will help the girl understand what she might be missing, and there is a chance that the girl will jump on you herself.
#3 Tell her you don't do seduction. She may think that you behave so often with girls, in addition, she will check on you whether you are a seducer or not. No girl wants everyone to know that she was easily seduced and, so to speak, "taken advantage" on a par with other similar girls. In reality, of course, many guys would like to sleep with every girl they like, but this cannot be. However, if a girl is already lying naked in your bed, then she always thinks and presents you as the best seducer in the world! Help her overcome her fears by reassuring her that you don't usually take home a girl you don't know well or on a first date, but you found something in her... and she'll feel comfortable enough to let her continue.
#4 Talk out her fears. The trick is to put into words those fears that you think may be present. If you think she's worried about other people's gossip, say, "Don't worry, honey. I'm not the kind of guy who tells his friends who they're sleeping with." If you think she's worried that you'll stop respecting her and leave her if she sleeps with you so quickly, then say, "Do you think one time will be enough for me?" (jokingly). Be sincere.
#5 Explain to her your desires and the reasons why you want her. It is not necessary to give these words officiality, significance and attention on purpose, but it is better to combine these words with actions: “I know that this is really fast, but with you I seem to be going crazy. You're beautiful. I want to spend so much time exploring your body and kissing you here, here and here…”
I hope I answered the question why girls break down and how to overcome resistance. Using these five tips, combining them and combining them, you will always find ways to seduce a girl.
Due to some differences in thinking, sometimes it is difficult for a woman to understand what she wants from her. the male. So what men expect from a woman depends on their character, mood, sexual and social needs.
Despite their physical superiority, men are often more vulnerable and less self-confident than women. They constantly need persuasion, praise, support and comfort. Yes, there are men who are completely independent and can live their whole lives with one woman, as well as without a woman at all, but such men come across extremely rarely. Most men need the support and love of a woman. It is quite obvious that man becomes attached to you because you call in him sexual desire.
What do you like men in women?
First of all, they look at the face. Almost every the male creates in his imagination a certain type, from which he then repels.
About the figure: there are few men who pay attention to obese women and do not like or, conversely, prefer donuts. American psychologists have found that most often men react to the proportions of the figure. At the same time, for 50 percent of men, the weight of a woman does not matter at all.
Men also get sexual impression of you from your hair, skin, chest or walk. It makes sense to try to find out if there is something in your appearance that your partner does not like. Because sex appeal is made up of little things and accidents. For example, they hate long nails painted with bright varnish. A trifle, but it can ruin everything.
How openly can you show your sexual behavior? This largely depends on the age and personality of your lover. Many men are very embarrassed when they are kissed and caressed in public, while others are delighted with it. In general, be careful. The main thing with all appearances, let's understand that you like it.
How sexy does he think you should dress? This also largely depends on his age and character. There was an opinion that the less clothes a woman wears, the sexier she looks. And here is the lie. Studies have shown that men consider the usual tight-fitting blouse, a long skirt with a slit and high heels to be the sexiest women's outfit.
Your lover wants you to be good in bed and be able to return his love, and will always appreciate your attempt to bring more fantasy and creativity into your intimate life.
You need to distinguish when the male wants you, and when he wants to express through sex negative emotions. With women it's just the opposite. if they are suppressed by something - it is difficult for them to tune in to a sexual mood. Create an atmosphere in the conversation so that he can relieve emotional stress.
Never completely reject sexual your partner's offer. Men are very vulnerable in this matter. If the answer is no, let him know that he means a lot to you and that you love him very much.
Sometimes a man just needs sex, not love. You can even say this: men prefer sex more, and women prefer love.
Most women like it when a partner whispers something pleasant in her ear. But men rarely do this. Not because they don’t want to, it’s just that it’s difficult for them to say and do something at the same time. Sometimes we women feel like the male looks withdrawn and aloof after sex. Therefore, we must know that a sense of self-control is important for men. And after making love, they just need time to pull themselves together, cool emotions after an orgasm.
Besides sex, what else does he expect from you? Listen carefully when he talks about his official business, for this is his daily life, about which he may have no one else to tell except you. Warning - love a man the way he is now, otherwise you will be disappointed.
In some cases, your lover may want to see you as a mother. There are moments in life when even the strongest and most powerful men feel helpless and seek help, comfort and advice from a woman.
You yourself must decide how far your maternal feelings can extend to him. But beware of a man who constantly needs their manifestation. His love is immature, and when the moment comes to lean on him, you
may be disappointed. Besides, if you treat a man like a little boy, he will behave accordingly. Treating the man you love like a mother means killing the passion in your relationship.
Few men are so independent that they can work and fight for themselves all their lives. You can help him enjoy the fruits of his labors by showing him your respect and celebrating his accomplishments with him. What is the point in doing something grandiose commercial project or writing a bestseller, if there is no woman around who could appreciate it. Praise your man (interspersed with constructive criticism). It is impossible to overestimate the importance for men of praise and recognition. They need it more than you can imagine.
What can you expect from a loving man?
Some women are willing to do anything to keep the man they want. They forgave him, although they knew perfectly well that he did not deserve it. Tolerated indifference, irritability and lack of respect. If a your relationship is important to both of you, then you should not hide your dissatisfaction with your partner. Because the unspoken words still remain, moreover, sometimes they place a heavy burden on the heart. You cannot fundamentally change his character, but some men need a sharp pull from time to time to keep their nose from turning up.
If a he wants you to be near him, then he himself must take care of how to make your life joyful and pleasant. It makes no sense to continue the relationship, if you are unhappy. Don't sacrifice yourself. This will not earn you love. The more you donate, the less of your personality remains with you. Under no circumstances should you lose self-respect for yourself, but on the contrary, increase your self-esteem.
Men love perfection in a woman. Therefore, do not hide your merits and achievements, because otherwise you will not earn respect for your professionalism from a man.
Most men don't like it when women get nervous or upset. They feel responsible for your pain or guilt for not being able to get rid of it.
Women love to talk about love, about relationships. At first glance, men are less interested in this. And the thing is that it is simply more difficult for them to switch from thoughts to feelings than women. Men assert themselves primarily through career achievements, and women through relationships. In order to talk with your partner about love, try to make him relax and forget about his work, writes from-ua.com.
The perfect girl can only be perfect if if she has the male with which all her talents can be revealed. Whatever he wants from you, you have the right to expect love from him in the full sense of the word.
