Why does the husband engage in self-satisfaction. Male self-satisfaction

but maybe you just stop nagging your husband so that he wants to do it with you, and not in a fist ..

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Madam, I would really like what he does with me, but the problem is that no matter what I do for him in bed, he still secretly masturbates. And when I start asking what he lacks, he says that everything is fine and continues the same.

and in general it would not hurt to CAREFULLY without scandals to find out what went wrong or why the neighbor attracts more, it’s not masturbation itself that’s to blame here, most likely there are also problems in mutual understanding ..

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We talked with him about this, he denies sympathy for a neighbor, says that I constantly invent. But maybe it's not just about relationships, but also about the fact that we have been living together for a long time (for seven years already), so he wants something new, new emotions, in the end, and the neighbor is divorced, dresses defiantly and curvier than me. The polygamy of men sometimes manifests itself like this, so no matter what the relationship and the beauty of the wife, they still want to possess others ... And nothing can be done about it ...

Irina, at the moment, I see only one disadvantage in my husband's occupation. For example, from the very first intimacy with him, he told me that it was wide there, that he did not feel me, naturally, he did not receive proper satisfaction, although he was my first man. After reading the information about masturbation, I came to the conclusion that this activity is not harmless, it is also harmful to health (there is a lot of information about this on the Internet.) As for my husband: he studied under the video for a long time before we met and he it would be delicate to say that the body is used to a certain pressure of the hand in this process, especially since the hand can regulate the degree of pressure, and now we have problems in intimate life because of this.

Alice, write, also please, do you want changes in your personal / family life, if so, what kind?

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Yes, I want change. It may sound like baby talk, but I want him to stop masturbating secretly, stop lying to me. I am aware that I can only forbid myself, but I can’t do anything about it. Yes, at the moment I'm trying to control it, to prohibit it. I know I'm wrong, but I'm so calm. I also noticed that after the scandals and the ban, he began to pay more attention to me, we now have sex every other day. I'm surprised... But at the same time, I understand that forbidden fruit is sweet and won't last long. I try to do it myself, if he asks, or according to his mood. I am ready to compromise - masturbation is not secretive, but as a game instead of sex. Is it possible?

"To women who resent their husbands - masturbators, I want to say: masturbation and fantasies are the best protection against adultery and from early extinction of sexual function."

Click to reveal...

Isn't this yet another proof of the polygamy of men, their infidelity, even if in fantasies several times a day and during masturbation they cheat on us. That's where the root of the problem is!

Alice, but as I see it, you are no longer so categorical (as at the beginning of the consultation) and understand the fact that masturbation can also occur in married men?

Click to reveal...

Honestly, I don't want to take it! I am offended that God created unfaithful men at the gene level! Changed - an excuse for polygamy, masturbates on videos and pictures of other women, which is akin to treason - this is the norm, physiology! Only when a woman has changed, is she an enemy of the people. What an injustice...

The absence of a permanent partner in a man is fraught with serious psychological and physical changes. First of all, the sexual sphere suffers. Alexander Poleev, a well-known Russian psychotherapist and sexologist, candidate of medical sciences of the Russian Federation, warns: prolonged abstinence threatens the stronger sex with impotence.

pure physiology

It is hard for a 25-year-old man to endure even a two-week abstinence. Self-satisfaction and casual sex helps to solve the problem. In guys of this age, forced abstinence has practically no effect on sexual function. Problems begin when a man gets older. After the age of 35, a long-term refusal to have sexual relations is fraught with problems with sexual arousal and premature ejaculation.

At an older age, the sexual function "as unnecessary" - if the representatives of the stronger sex do not use it in any way - begins to gradually die off. If a long break in sexual relations occurs after forty, treatment by a doctor may be necessary to restore the normal functioning of the genital organs. After a break of at least 3-4 months, a 50-year-old gentleman may never experience sexual arousal at all.

Men are not as selective in terms of choosing sexual partners as women. The problem of the absence of a girlfriend or wife is quickly solved with the help of self-satisfaction or casual acquaintances. However, guys who have wives and mistresses are also engaged in self-satisfaction. There is nothing wrong with that. Self-satisfaction is not only a way to relieve the accumulated sexual tension, but also a kind of "training" of sexual function.

Most of the problems are caused by random connections without regard to the continuation of the relationship. Most often they are tied in a state of intoxication. Sexual relations in such situations are not always safe. What this is fraught with, every adult man knows: at best, you will have to be treated by a venereologist, at worst, you will get to know the program of rehabilitation of HIV-infected people closely. So having a permanent partner, in whose health the guy is sure, is also important for maintaining his overall health and life.

Psychological aspect

Worst of all, the brain reacts to the absence of regular sexual relations. A man has a lack of confidence in his abilities, a fear of a fiasco in the event of a rare opportunity for sexual relations with a new, practically unfamiliar partner. All this does not have the best effect on psychological comfort and sexual viability.

Another important factor is frustration. Not all gentlemen replace the absence of sexual relations with the realization of themselves in painting, writing novels or some kind of business endeavors, because they simply do not have the talent and certain abilities for this. Constant tension and dissatisfaction, coupled with self-doubt in men with a high temperament, can result in aggression, and here it’s not far from crime.

Life expectancy and social success

It is generally accepted that the alleged married men live longer than singles. Some citizens willingly believe this statement, others question it. In fact, it is fair, no matter how much the supporters would like to hear the opposite. free relationship and celibacy. This has been proven by American scientists. research university Duke (North Carolina).

They conducted a large-scale study in which 4.8 thousand Americans took part. All the "test subjects" were united by only one thing - age (born in 1940). The rest of the conditions were very different. Scientists have studied the change in marital status throughout the life of all these people, their state of health, the presence / absence of a sense of satisfaction with their lives, and many other factors.

The findings turned out to be quite expected: bachelors are more likely to die in middle age than people who have a permanent partner. Married people are also more satisfied with their lives and socially successful. They are more likely to be hired by large companies. Such men are vitally interested in a high income, since they need to feed their families, and a priori they are better workers than bachelors.

Another risk factor is a somewhat “dormant” sense of self-preservation in single men. Married gentlemen consider that they are responsible for the well-being of their wives and children, so they do not risk their lives needlessly. Bachelors, on the other hand, are constantly “drawn to exploits”: they often get involved in fights, engage in dangerous sports, and are fond of extreme driving. All this also greatly undermines health and in most cases reduces life expectancy.

Everyone wants to get their dose of endorphin, and the best and reliable way to achieve this is to have sex. But what about a man who does not have a partner? There is only one way out - self-satisfaction. How you can satisfy yourself is not an easy question, because the technique of masturbation must be individual.

Before masturbation, it is important to relax, forget about all the problems, everyday fuss and plunge into the world of sexual fantasies.

Colorful performances not only provoke excitement, but also help to get maximum pleasure.

You can fantasize for yourself a long-legged, busty beauty who fulfills wishes or imagine a person who met in life, but did not respond to such diligent courtship. Bringing pleasure to yourself is the best moment to create dreams and embody them in “your” reality.

Even better for a man is to remember the situations that happened in his real life and which brought him unearthly pleasure. It would be nice to remember all the details from which there were goosebumps, because what really happened only makes the picture brighter, and the finale exceeds any expectations.

Complete peace can evoke many positive emotions. Isn't that what it takes to get the orgasm you want?

How to satisfy yourself at home excites many men. Although the possibility of the appearance of third-party judgmental eyes excites some individuals, it threatens to interrupt pleasure, so it is easiest to caress your erogenous zones when no one is at home.

If this is not possible, for the sake of unhindered self-satisfaction, you can choose a bathroom. Moreover, this place will help you quickly, without problems, remove the “consequences” thanks to the source of water and improvised means.

By the way, water can also be useful for stimulation. erogenous zones. Yes, men, in addition to the main one, have many more sensitive places on the body, they should only be found, since they differ for each person.

In order to get the maximum pleasure from masturbation, you should use a lubricant. It eliminates friction and makes the process more realistic and less difficult. With it, the hand gets tired less, and the pleasant sensations increase significantly.

A special tool can be bought at a sex shop or pharmacy. But if you couldn’t get the lubricant, then this is not a problem. For a sliding effect, you can use water or saliva.

Sex toys for men

Not all guys like sex toys (it’s much more convenient for them to use their hands), but they can also tell a man how to satisfy himself. In sex shops you can find a lot of amazing inventions aimed at self-satisfaction of the stronger sex:

rubber women. Great option for single men. These dolls have everything you need young man for fun. But to spend time with such a toy, you also need lubrication.

Masturbators. Masturbator heads, masturbator vaginas, masturbator mouths, vibrating rings and many more types of these devices with vibration, suction cups and other additions, disposable and permanent, will be the best sex toys for many men.

prostate stimulants. Due to the fact that such stimulants are anal, they are only suitable for amateurs, but such devices cause an erection and help to get an unforgettable orgasm.

A well-known porn video will help everyone in strong excitement. When watching the corresponding videos, one can imagine transforming into an actor, and the very form of sexual consolation (for example, the self-satisfaction of a woman) and the sounds reproduced by the video cause great pleasure.

Magazines for men or pleasant music also work in the worst way.

Shamelessness is the key to pleasant sensations. Thoughts that a person does things that do not fit into any moral framework disturb his peace, thereby reducing arousal. At such moments, all desire disappears.

It is important to remember that masturbation is a completely natural phenomenon. Nine out of ten men do this, and only a few condemn masturbators.

Benefits of self-satisfaction

Why and when to engage in self-gratification

Satisfaction is a great thing. It relaxes, energizes, strengthens immune system and even favorably affects the heart!

Here are some facts that support the benefits of sexual satisfaction:

  1. Hormones released during orgasm have a positive effect on the resistance to pathologies that appeared in men after viruses.
  2. During sexual satisfaction, oxytocin is released, which reduces inflammation, calms, emotionally discharges, improves sleep, and even affects a person's behavior in society.
  3. Another hormone - cortisol - stimulates metabolism, helps a person feel happiness.
  4. The release of adrenaline makes all the organs of the human body work efficiently.
  5. When receiving sexual caresses, blood circulation increases.
  6. After satisfaction, tension is relieved, resistance to stress improves.
  7. The blood gets rid of cholesterol, is saturated with oxygen, normalizes its pressure.
  8. The hormone dopamine is also produced during bodily caresses. It is he who is responsible for receiving pleasure. Thanks to dopamine, the possibility of fatigue, aggressiveness decreases, the risk of depression, diabetes, and obesity decreases.

In addition, the provision of intimate caresses by a woman cannot be compared with how men satisfy themselves, because a person himself understands better what he lacks at the moment. Autoeroticism also helps to know yourself, your most sensitive areas, to feel confident in yourself, which is useful in traditional sex.

As for when to engage in masturbation, no one has yet given an exact answer to this question. It is considered normal to have sex twice a week. But this is not always the case. For each person, this figure is individual, as in the case of self-satisfaction.

Although ejaculation and intimate pleasure are beneficial, you should still not get involved in them: too much masturbation can lead to a habit and affect the relationship of a man to women.

But if there is no other way out, the body asks for relaxation, and there was no suitable partner, then there is nothing to be afraid of. Abstinence can lead to a number of unpleasant consequences. It is believed that semen retention affects its functionality (sperm motility worsens).

In addition, the organs of the urinary and reproductive systems are endangered, and the psychophysiological state of the man suffers. He becomes irritable, his genitals swell, and his libido drops, which threatens to disrupt the normal life of a person.

All this suggests that masturbation is not only possible, but necessary. And to learn how to satisfy yourself, you do not have to strain much. All it takes is a little time, imagination and complete solitude.

Related videos

Foreplay can not only prepare each other for intercourse, but also improve the quality of your sex. It is worth noting that although men are excited faster than women, they still need to activate their erogenous zones. And there are plenty of such zones in men. Today Estet-portal will tell you about where the male erogenous zones are located and what to do with them.

Often during sexual intercourse, partners make do with genital stimulation, ignoring the needs of their body. But for greater excitement and satisfaction of a partner, it is simply necessary to find and please his sensitive places. Indeed, at the same time, you yourself will experience excitement, since a huge number of nerve endings have been collected at the tip of the tongue and at the fingertips. Thus, caressing your partner, you stimulate your erogenous zones, which brings you sexual pleasure. If you are concerned about the decrease in sexual desire, then you can find out how to increase it from the article How to increase libido: 11 useful tips.

What are the erogenous zones in men

So, the erogenous zones of a man. Oddly enough, many men simply tremble from licking and nibbling on their ear. But few people get bliss from long French kisses, so it’s better not to delay this moment (unless this is the beginning of your relationship). Also, a man likes caresses of his chest. And although, compared to the female breast, the male one is less sensitive, but the circular movements of the hands or the touch of one's own breasts cause unforgettable sensations in the representatives of the stronger sex.

Where else do men have erogenous zones

Often the male back is left without proper attention. But in vain. Stroking the area between the shoulder blades, you give a man a feeling of masculinity and strength, which in turn only enhances the excitement. A powerful sexual charge is hidden in the muscles of the male buttocks. Light strokes or stronger pats will give a man sexual pleasure.

At one time, courtesans used one secret to increase male activity after a tiring day: they massaged the male sacrum, which led to an increase in male energy. So do not forget to pay attention to this "magic" button of your man! The hands and feet of a man are also erogenous zones. The variety of stimulation of these zones gives flight to the imagination of everyone.

The most erogenous zones of men

And when your man is prepared and warmed up with intimate caresses of the whole body, you can move on to gentle, soft touches to the male genital organs. Massage of the erogenous zones, especially the genitals, when the scrotum, testicles and phallus are captured in a single ring of fingers and pulled up to the lower abdomen, produces an indescribably exciting effect on a man. And, of course, oral games with these parts of the body will bring your man to ecstasy! To enhance erection, you can also caress the area between the scrotum and anus - a very erogenous zone for many men.

Massage of the erogenous zones of a man will not only lead to the achievement of true pleasure, but will also bring pleasure to you. After all, the stimulation of a partner often leads to the stimulation of their own erogenous zones. Therefore, Estet-portal wishes you great sex and true pleasure. And do not forget to protect yourself, unless, of course, you are going to have children.

According to psychologists, perfect faces are boring. Perhaps those features that seem imperfect to you are a memorable zest that can attract looks and hold attention? How to find the dignity of your appearance? What to do to draw attention to your highlights, so much so that the flaws are generally invisible? Watch in the video:

Psychologist's answer.

Natasha!
Briefly? You will bring him, you will bring yourself and that's it!
And I will not feel sorry for you - do not hope.
I will not carry nonsense about the harmfulness and depravity of masturbation.
That is, in some cases it is an absolute perversion (abnormality), and in some cases it is one of the forms of sexual life that fits perfectly into what "norm" means. Sometimes, excuse me, this option of "stress relief" is simply shown to a man!
Natasha, you, in general, found yourself in such a delicate situation, where you had to show tolerance, tact, and your love, no matter how difficult it was.
In general, you should immediately seek advice from a specialist: how to react, how to act, what to ask?
For you, what you have learned is a signal. But what is the signal?
Husband did this "even after sex"? So in some way sex does not satisfy him? Or UNDER-SATISFACTORY?
First of all, I would turn my attention to this aspect.
In general, sex plays a key role in the life of any married couple! And if sex is "not enough" in some way, a crack threatens the marital life! Another thing is that over the years, sexual relations take on a bunch of new forms, shades, options.
I've seen older couples just holding hands. But it was in such a way that I understood: they were making love! For them, this is the most subtle and most delicate sexual act.
A person WILL ALWAYS STRIVE TO FILL THE DEFICIENCY OF WHAT HE LACKS. Moreover, the sharper the deficit, the more decisive forms of its compensation!
I am glad that your husband is an ironic person, even self-ironic. I think he understands everything and will understand everything.
Look, Natasha! If the husband says that everything suits him, if it’s somehow your fault, then masturbation is the kind of sexual life that simply brings him the greatest satisfaction! So, Natasha, it worked! Such an accent. No one is to blame for this: neither he nor you. But it is impossible to deprive him of this part of life, to demonize it! In this way, a person can be disfigured, forced to really hide, to look for ways to compromise. And this is very bad.
He wants and will have sex with you. It's just that the husband experiences an orgasm in its highest form only after such additional stimulation! that's all!
And how many women do the same after normal sex with husbands and loved ones!!! Lot! Lots of!
Remember, Natasha, that he does this not INSTEAD OF sex, but by you, but AFTER.
And I have doubts about HOW YOU TALKED TO YOUR HUSBAND!
Are you sure he didn't feel any accusation from you? Are you sure you didn't put him in the position of a teenager who was "caught" masturbating?
He is the closest person to you. You, as you yourself said, "opened up" to him to the end. But you also need to trust him. That is, if a person prefers to laugh it off, then either the wrong questions are asked, or the time is chosen incorrectly.
And you don't have to hang yourself! Well, no tragedy happened!
I will surprise you very much if I say that ALMOST ALL MEN DO THIS? I am those who say that they are not engaged, they are lying! From time to time, our body itself tells us that we need such additional stimulation.
He loves you. I don't doubt it. He doesn't run to a brothel after having sex with you, does he?
But the fact that he needs that very additional stimulation suggests that something is still missing!
Everything else - on an individual consultation. Find a specialist and go together! This conversation is not only for you, but also for your spouse.
Thank you.

Tata (name changed): Hello, dear Olga! I really like your magazine, although I discovered it not so long ago, but immediately it became one of my favorites. Very different people write to you, and you help everyone with a kind word, advice. That's what I decided to write. The fact is that I can’t decide what to do, I don’t understand what is good and normal, and what is not. I want to apologize in advance for the possible confusion in the letter, because This is the first time I want to ask for advice like this...

My husband and I have an odd relationship. We have been together for three years, of which we have been living together for a year. He proposed to me very quickly. I pulled, finding all sorts of reasons, but in fact, marriage was my "fad". Just the thought of it horrified me.

Gradually (thanks to his efforts) I calmed down and agreed (without a wedding, without other conventions, meaning that there is no step back, to which he agreed). While we were friends, everything was fine, but as soon as I moved in with him, I found out one oddity - he preferred to engage in self-satisfaction in front of the TV, leaving me alone for two or three weeks. Moreover, before marriage, in this sense, everything was just great. What was he talking to me about. I became very nervous, especially since I am a temperamental woman. On attempts to talk about this topic, he replies: "I hate to talk about it." Tantrums began on my part - to no avail. I decided: I’ll pass by, maybe everything will normalize with time. Then a computer was purchased and my husband was not "seen" at all - the Internet, the abundance of relevant sites swallowed him up completely ... but he does not want to watch something like that with me. I take it as cheating. He can't explain anything and apparently doesn't want to. With all this, he really loves me and does not want to lose me. And I’m in a fog, and I’m not ready to leave, probably, and I can’t stay either, and, as it seems, I shouldn’t. Maybe you can help me with something?
Goodbye. Thank you in advance.
Best regards, Tata

Olga-WWWoman: Hello, Tata! You decide - I do not think that such a background of your relationship can lead to harmony. If you could calmly relate to these oddities of his, then you could still somehow come to terms with his cooling. But since you react so violently (and how else can you react, not do the same thing?), Disappointment in him becomes irreversible and will grow. Moreover, he does not think to change anything. He wants to pervert, not really hiding it, and to have a living person nearby - to wash, wash, clean. You won't be jealous, that's for sure...
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Tata: Hello Olga! Thank you very much for such a quick response. I fully agree with you. In principle, the decision has already been made. I wanted someone else to tell me that this is not quite “correct” (the fact is that my husband keeps telling me that I am “crazy” and it has already become incomprehensible: maybe really, ha ha!). And now I have more strength to break. I'm afraid he won't let go
It's easy for me... And to break love in half, you need, oh, how much strength... Once again, thank you very much for your support. Good luck to you! Heat and good people more on your way.

Olga-WWWoman: Hello, Tata! Thank you for your kind wishes! What does "abnormal" mean? And is he normal? Even if he does not hide, and you should admire his "fun". Normal people somehow don't stick out such things. But, even if he were more tactful, what about his cooling? Since you are a temperamental woman, and he prefers to satisfy himself, this is offensive to you, insulting and incomprehensible. Still back and forth, if you were frigid, and he was categorically denied intimacy, and he would be forced to do this in order to relieve tension, not wanting to cheat on you. But "normal" even in this case would not show it to his wife.

If you had nothing to do with him, except for the bed, then it is probably better to disperse until you become hysterical and have a feeling of disgust for life.
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Tata: Hello Olga! I'm sorry for the intrusiveness, but it's so nice to get another letter from you. Thank you very much for your responsiveness! The thing is, he didn't really want me to know about it. It happened by accident... I just feel strong sexual energy and it woke me up "at the wrong time". There is a lot that binds us besides the bed. I love him very much, I think he also loves me very much, this is something strange ... His love was confirmed throughout our relationship. A
problems in the sexual sphere began immediately after my move to him. It was not even in two weeks, not in a month (then I could think that he had lost interest in me), but immediately. It is not clear why it was so necessary to persuade me about living together? And the most impossible thing in this situation is that in general, in everything else, we are very suitable for each other, it seems to me. All this drives me crazy ... If I thought that he had stopped loving me, then I would have left. Yes, it would be very painful, but I know for sure that over time I would have returned to normal. And so, on the one hand, he keeps me, albeit somewhat one-sided, but love, and on the other ... I myself don’t understand what to do ...

One more thing: to my attempts to talk about this topic, about preferences, about some kind of joint decision, he very categorically denies everything. Perhaps I'm not trying to talk to him about it correctly? And is it even worth trying to do something if a person does not want it? It is so difficult to understand this: on the one hand, he does not want a break (as he claims), and on the other hand, he does not want (or cannot?) change anything. Today or tomorrow I want to talk about the gap. I'm only afraid if he asks (and he will probably ask) - there will not be enough strength
leave...
All the best to you! You have a very kind heart! Good luck.
Best regards, Tata

Olga-WWWoman: Tata, thank you for good words. You know, if you just "caught" him and he did not deliberately stick out his weakness, but still hid it from you, then I want to tell you this: if you have sex with him, then you can close your eyes to his childhood habits. Well, he can't get rid of
habits acquired during the years of loneliness. Understand it. The Internet excites him, he looks at all these beauties and he wants to. He can't stand it, and he doesn't want to wake you up. And here - your hand at hand (pun intended).

It is unpleasant that you will always suspect him of self-satisfaction. Well, how can I explain to you .... He will not let you into this area - because he is used to being with himself, in silence.

In general, I think you need to listen to yourself. If you can't digest your "discoveries" - leave, if everything is fine, try to convince him that watching all porn is dangerous - then without it, he may not get up. Let's not abuse it.

And there may also be such an explanation: he sits a lot, stagnation in the pelvis, impotence began, and only porn saves. With you, he is embarrassed to look at her, looks without you, he gets an erection, he starts ... and you are already sleeping ... Try to go to bed together and get up together.

We need to find a way out, since everything else is fine. In the end, the sexual climate in marriage depends on the woman. Start by undressing together, drinking wine and caressing each other in the evening. Can't you call him and say: I want you here and now. Bolder. You are close people, arrange a holiday for yourself.

Write, we will think further.
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Tata: Hello Olga!
Thank you very much for your support. The fact is that somehow, I don’t even know why, it happened that the initiative always came from me. When everything was fine, I didn’t even notice it, and then he began to refuse me this. For a long time I tried not to pay much attention. I thought maybe she was nervous about something and everything would normalize over time ... But gradually I developed a fear of rejection, and even in principle not a fear, but an unwillingness to once again make sure that I was undesirable. At first I thought that maybe he didn’t like my activity, but I don’t like passivity either ... If I could react calmly to this ... But at first I had suspicions about his fidelity. After all, otherwise it was difficult to explain preferences. Then, from these thoughts, she began to behave inappropriately ... Naturally, this did not contribute to the establishment of better relations. There was no one to consult with, because this is such a sensitive topic and I don’t particularly want to discuss it with my friends ... Now, when it’s pressed and, perhaps, it’s too late to change something, a way has been found for you. Thanks again for your support. You are doing a good and necessary thing for people.
Goodbye. Best regards, Tata

Olga-WWWoman: And how do you like this option: I used to do this, looking at the pictures and got involved. I met with you - novelty, excitement - everything was fine. Now it's a little pall, it's become habitual and it doesn't excite you anymore. And since the initiative constantly came from you, it means that he generally prefers to satisfy himself - for some reason he is so comfortable. The point, apparently, is not in you, this is his problem and his preferences. And he needs you, a wife is a lot of other things besides sex. And he married, it seems, not because of a lack of sex, but precisely on a loved one.

I have a question: if he constantly pushes you away, were there any gaps, did he not show any initiative? Many in such a situation find a replacement for themselves in sexual terms, and continue family life, but still, sexual disharmony always has a bad effect on relationships. Is there any hope to talk, to find out the prospects? Why does he not want a woman, can he not go to bed with you at the same time, maybe he wants to watch you caress yourself, talk to him, this is solved - there would be a desire.

Write, we will look for a way out.
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Tata: Hello Olga!
He showed initiative. Sometimes (as I felt) because I understood that I could no longer be "restrained", sometimes because I myself wanted to. One day I decided to experiment. More than a month did not give any signs. There were quarrels over trifles. And in the end he: "You don't want me!". And at first I was generally very offended: I felt his desire, but at the same time he pushed me away. But then I learned not to pay attention - maybe in men an erection does not mean desire at all? He really enjoys watching me caress myself, but that's the part of the game he so rarely wants to play...

About the replacement in sexual terms. Due to my nature, this is not possible. In principle, maybe it would be better, but even the thought of it becomes bad. Maybe you shouldn't keep fighting? Sometimes it seemed to me that something radical, new could restore our relationship, but to this: "You need to be treated." Although earlier: "You and I will never be bored in this regard - we will always come up with something new!"

Maybe it was the fact that he was raised by one mother. And now he subconsciously wants to see me as a mother? On one side of life, everything is fine, but on the other, this is already incest. Is that why you have to engage in self-satisfaction in order to "not defile"? If so, then, apparently, our relations have no prospects? By type, I do not fit a woman-mother, rather the opposite. And this role does not suit me at all. Or maybe I'm wrong, and I'm not a mother to him at all? The fact is that, due to my temperament, I cannot put up with the absence sexual relations, by virtue of character - I can’t change, by virtue of emotionality - I can’t pretend that everything is fine and wait patiently. Naturally, quarrels occur over all sorts of different little things, but this is the reason. I exhausted myself and him. Thank you very much. Good luck.
Best regards, Tata

Olga-WWWoman: Kind of a dead end. I don't understand anything. There is an erection - it repels. He himself is engaged in "this" without a woman - and he says to you: "You need to be treated." Yes, he seems to be with great oddities, he does not need a woman, he needs a housewife mother. I'm afraid to advise you something is not right, but I already felt bad, but how do you feel? Okay, words. What about things? Unfortunately, I am unable to understand. Why does he not want to talk about everything, explain himself. This means that in other respects, your contact with him is not so close, human contact. Why is all this necessary, this marriage? If so much suffering? For what?
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Tata: Hello Olga! Once again I want to thank you for your support. It helped me a lot to communicate with you. Everything somehow sorted itself out. Indeed, if I cannot get past all this, "digest" and feel normal, then there is apparently only one way out - a break. Yesterday I had a conversation with my husband, and we decided to leave. Let each of us go our own way. Good luck to you. Thanks again. All the best.
Best regards, Tata

Olga-WWWoman: It's a pity that I could not help to reconcile. But is it necessary? It seems to me that if everything was like in a normal couple: mutual understanding, mutual desire to meet halfway, you would not part. It's not even about sex, it's about deeper reasons.

I'm sorry ... and I wish you good luck and success in life, despite this such a vile, sometimes cruel life ...