Speech etiquette: features of speech etiquette. Russian speech etiquette

After the greeting, a business conversation usually begins. Speech etiquette provides for several beginnings, which are determined by the situation. The most typical are 3 situations: solemn, working, mournful. The first includes public holidays, anniversaries of the enterprise and employees, receiving awards, birthdays, name days, significant dates for the family or its members, presentation, conclusion of an agreement, creation of a new organization.

On any solemn occasion, a significant event, invitations and congratulations follow. Depending on the situation (official, semi-official, unofficial), invitation and congratulatory clichés change.

Invitation: Allow (allow) to invite you., Come to the holiday (anniversary, meeting ..), we will be glad to see you.

Congratulation: Please accept my (most) cordial (warm, hot, sincere) congratulations ..; On behalf of (on behalf of) congratulations; heartily (warmly) congratulations.

As in all other situations of interpersonal communication, congratulations should be extremely correct, appropriate and sincere. Only here with sincerity you need to be very careful. Congratulation is a society-accepted ritual of respect and joy for a loved one, but this is not a way of conducting a conversation or correspondence; congratulations should not contain purely personal topics and questions of the congratulatory addressee. The content of the congratulations is a ritual expression of joy, but nothing more. Let's take greeting cards as an example. Greeting card - all filled with factual information! Of course, the standard, the ritual ... But what a shame not to receive a greeting card on a solemn occasion! If we neglect this factual side and begin to displace it with meaningful information, then it will turn out as in the humoresque of Herman Drobiz: “ Petya filled out greeting cards without thinking twice: “Dear Seryozhka! Great happiness to you in the New Year!”, “Dear Natasha! Much happiness to you in the New Year! But then he thought: “Essentially, these are thoughtless replies. If I am a true friend to my friends, then is it not hypocrisy to wish great happiness to those who dream of little? Isn't it a mockery to get off with a general phrase when you know well what exactly your friend dreams of? Decided! This time, friends will receive from me sincere wishes for exactly the happiness they are after.

"Dear Earring! How many years have I known you, how long have you been dreaming of leaving your wife, who is disgusting with you, a petty-bourgeois woman. May the New Year bring you the freedom you desire. Make up your mind, friend!

“Dear Natasha! Do I not know how patiently you are waiting for Seryozha. May your dream come true! And further. You are justifiably ashamed of your figure. I wish you to lose fifteen kilograms in the New Year. I guarantee that then Seryozha will look at you in a new way!

“Dear Vovyastik! Our dear poet! All your life you dream of writing at least one poem, for which you will not be ashamed later. May it happen in the coming year!”

“Dear Anton Grigorievich! In the coming year, I wish you to recover from hard drinking once and for all. What happiness it would be!

The postcards made an impression. Seryozha really left his wife, who read Petya's wish and made a huge scandal. But he did not go to Natasha, and three days later, miserable and hungry, he crawled back. Anton Grigoryevich, upon receiving the postcard, fell into an unprecedented binge. The poet Voviastik burst into a poem in which the softest expression was: “Are you a friend? You are a creeping snake ... "

So Petya was left without friends. Do I feel sorry for him? And how. Would you like to express your condolences? Yes. But I will not take a step forward until he apologizes for the card sent to me: “With all my heart I wish that in the coming year your sense of humor will finally erupt ».

Jokes are jokes, but the understanding that without contact-establishing communication, without speech etiquette and friends, you can lose is obviously useful to all of us

A sad situation is associated with death, death, murder and other events that bring misfortune, grief. In this case, it is expressed condolences. It should not be dry, state-owned. Condolence formulas, as a rule, are stylistically elevated, emotionally colored: Allow (allow) to express (to you) my (my) deep (sincere) condolences. I bring (to you) my (accept mine, please accept mine) deep (sincere) condolences. I share (understand) your sadness (your grief, misfortune)

The listed beginnings (invitation, congratulations, condolences, expressions of sympathy) do not always turn into business communication, sometimes the conversation ends with them.

In a daily business environment (business, work situation), speech etiquette formulas are also used. For example, when summing up the results of work, when determining the results of the sale of goods, it becomes necessary to thank someone or, conversely, to reprimand, to make a remark. At any job, in any organization, someone may need to give advice, make a suggestion, make a request, express consent, allow, prohibit, refuse someone.

Here are the speech clichés that are used in these situations.

Gratitude: Allow (permit) to express (great, huge) gratitude to Nikolai Petrovich Bystrov for the excellent (perfectly) organized exhibition; the company (management, administration) expresses gratitude to all employees for ...

In addition to official thanks, there are also ordinary, unofficial thanks. This is an ordinary "thank you", "you are very kind", "not worth thanks", etc. There is even such a thing as “stroking”, which is designed to compliment a person with the help of speech etiquette, create a positive opinion about oneself, and convey a good mood to the interlocutor. Psychiatrists and psychologists have repeatedly observed cases where the lack of affection on the part of adults caused in infants a severe lag in development and even a serious illness. Therefore, what the mother does intuitively is talking to the baby, smiling at him, picking him up, stroking him, etc. - absolutely necessary for the child.

But for adults too! Here is the wife, for the umpteenth time asking her husband: Tell me, do you love me? Men laugh at this, and sometimes get angry, but women (the most emotional part of humanity) seek to satisfy their thirst for “strokes”. And how men flourish from praise, approval (although they often try to hide it)!

Linguists thought about all this and found that the language responded to such a need, created a system of verbal “strokes”. An important place belongs here to speech etiquette. After all, all greetings, information about life, health, deeds, all thanks, apologies, congratulations and wishes have no other purpose than to serve as “strokes”.

Hi, how are you?

Everything is fine! And you have?

Nothing too. Well, everything!

Bye! - so they exchanged "strokes"! The thing is that speech etiquette is realized in a situation of direct communication, when “here” (at the meeting point) and “now” (at the moment of meeting) “I” and “you” openly exchange “strokes”. That is why the expressions of speech etiquette touch us personally (it pleases “performance” and upsets “non-performance” in relation to us). Thank you! - in the phrase, in its structure, grammar, semantics, “I” and “you” are reflected, the phrase is equal to a good deed “here” and “now”. And the transmitted information is of a social nature, such as “I notice you, respect you, make contact with you, wish you well ...” It is not for nothing that the expressions of speech etiquette in their origin (in their etymology) mean goodwill: hello - be healthy, the same Congratulations; thank you - thank you (for your service); I'm sorry - I admit my fault and ask for forgiveness; thank you - God save (for good deeds), etc.

Notes, warning: The firm (management, board, editorial office) is forced to make a (serious) warning (remark) .., To (great) regret (chagrin), must (forced) to make a remark (to reprimand)

Often, people, especially those in positions of power, consider it necessary to express their proposals and advice in a categorical form: All (you) must (must) ..., categorically (persistently) advise (propose) to do ...

Advice, suggestions expressed in this form are similar to an order or order and do not always give rise to a desire to follow them, especially if the conversation takes place between colleagues of the same rank. The "magic" of speech etiquette is that it really opens the door to our human interactions. Try to say, for example, in transport: Move over! Your recipient will most likely interpret this as a rude demand and will have the right not to perform the action: why on earth do you ascribe to yourself the role of a demanding “boss”, and assign him the role of a subordinate?! After all, they demand something higher! And add the magical please - and the imperative form already expresses a request, and only a request that is respectful enough, directed to an equal partner. And there are many other ways to handle this situation: Is it difficult for you to move?; If it doesn't bother you, move over, please, and more. others

Politeness and understanding:

Be mutually polite - inscriptions in stores call us. You have to be polite - the parents of the children teach ... What does it mean to be polite, why are we taught this from early childhood, why is this necessary? To answer these questions, first of all, consider the relationship between such phenomena as etiquette and politeness. Recall that etiquette and speech etiquette are the rules adopted in a particular society, circle of people, behavior, including speech behavior (in accordance with the distribution of social roles in an official and informal setting of communication), which, on the one hand, regulate, and on the other hand, discover, show the relationship of members of society along such lines: one's own - someone else's, superior - inferior, senior - junior, distant - close, familiar - unfamiliar and even pleasant - unpleasant. Here the boy came to the circle, he said to his friends: Great, guys! In this case, he chose such signs of speech behavior that put him on a par with others, demonstrate the rough-familiar tonality of communication, so characteristic of adolescents, these signs tell others: "I am my own, close." To the head of the circle, even the young one, he cannot say: Great, guy, because in this case the norms of role relations will be violated, because the senior in position must be given signs of attention corresponding to seniority. If you don't do this, you'll show impoliteness. This means that impoliteness is such a manifestation when the addressee is assigned a role lower than that which belongs to him in accordance with his characteristics. Consequently, violation of the norms of etiquette always turns into impoliteness, disrespect for the partner. Well, what about courtesy? Since this is one of the concepts of morality, let's turn to the Dictionary of Ethics, which defines politeness as follows: “... a moral quality that characterizes a person for whom respect for people has become a daily norm of behavior and a familiar way of dealing with others". So politeness is a sign of respect. Politeness is both a willingness to provide a service to someone who needs it, and delicacy, and tact. And, of course, timely and appropriate speech manifestation - speech etiquette - an integral element of politeness. Since politeness is a form of showing respect for another, respect in itself implies recognition of the dignity of the individual, as well as sensitivity, delicacy in relation to another. If you look at the example we started with from this point of view: Hey guys! - in relation to familiar teenagers from a peer, it can be noted that in this greeting and address there is no special reflection of respect, there is only a sign of entering into speech contact of "one's own", "equal" in relaxed, familiar relationships. So, there is no special politeness here.

There are different ways to be polite or impolite. V.E. Goldin writes: “...politeness and impoliteness have numerous degrees and shades. In Russian, they are denoted by such words as polite, impolite, correct, courteous, gallant, arrogant, arrogant, rude, arrogant, mannered, ceremonial, etc. .».

Gallant is exquisitely polite and amiable. attitude towards a woman; the correct one behaves with restraint in full accordance with the rules, without deviating a single step from them; a courteous person is always respectfully polite ... Well, we will mention the manifestations of impoliteness below. Here we will draw a conclusion that we will need in further reasoning: impoliteness is the assignment of a role to the addressee below that which he can count on, disrespect for him; politeness is respect for the addressee, assigning him the role that corresponds to his characteristics, and maybe a little higher, when he is courteous or gallant.

The inherent politeness of a person is evaluated by others as his positive quality. Each of us has heard. What a good man - always congratulates me on holidays; You have a nice daughter - she always greets everyone, etc. Or here is an example: “Ivan Kuzmich Belomestnykh, having come out late into the courtyard flooded with dawn, saw a note on a nail:“ Thanks for the hospitality. S. Lachugin- and thought about the geological guy well and reliably: " Good. Not like some. You also need to know how to say goodbye"(E. Evtushenko. Berry places).

The journal Health reports: “Psychologists who study interpersonal relationships attach great importance to signs of attention that can calm, have a kind of psychotherapeutic effect. And isn’t everyday thank you, please, excuse me, isn’t this what their power over our mood is hidden in? It's nice to receive signs of attention, in fact, "thank you" many of us are ready to work great!

An article in the newspaper under the heading "They didn't say "thank you"" - about a conflict at work. An article in another newspaper, The Magic Word Thank You, is about the elimination of the conflict. Komsomolskaya Pravda told how 10th grade students of one of the schools were at enmity with each other for the entire academic year: some were on the side of the young man who offended the girl, others were on her side. Finally, they decided to end the matter amicably. “And Olya said:“ I forgive him. And then, through tears: “Yes, I would have forgiven on the same day if he had come up and apologized in a good way ...”

And here, almost unbelievable events are described - people prefer to refuse profitable work, just not to be polite: “The director of a fashionable self-supporting company, proud of non-standard products, the intelligent treatment of his employees with customers, complains to me: “It’s just that the situation with personnel is not so good ... "-" De why? Is the salary less? - “What are you, the salary is one and a half to two times more!” - "What's the matter?" The director hesitates: “In dealing with a client. After all, you have to try it on. Sometimes several models, thank you for your purchase. - "So what?" - I'm surprised. “They say:“ How will I bow to every “shit”: “thank you” and “come”, - it’s better that I get less, but I don’t need these “thank you!” (From the newspaper). This, by the way, is in the article “What are we, women?”.

Cervantes said: "Nothing costs us so cheaply and is not valued so dearly as politeness." Respect, benevolence, directed to another, make us better ourselves. And it’s bad for others, and for us, when this is not there. L. Lebedinskaya sends such a figurative reproach to us all: “In the Kabardian folk epic about the Nart heroes there is a small, brave tribe - “Hare Riders”, who fearlessly engage in single combat with the giants-villains and defeat them, perform many feats. But in one they are vulnerable - they get sick from reproaches, and die from insults. Folk wisdom from time immemorial seems to warn us: people, avoid psychological stress!

Sometimes I think: what would happen to the poor "hare riders" if they had to ride in Moscow public transport or walk through Moscow shops? And it doesn't cost anything to give a good attitude! Mother Teresa, the founder of the Mission of Mercy order, who is known all over the world, during her visit to our country told the correspondent of the newspaper: “Even if there is nothing to help the needy, you can always give a person a smile or a handshake. Often it is even more than anything else.”

2.3 Rules and norms of speech etiquette at the end of communication: farewell, summary and compliments

End of conversation: When the conversation ends, the interlocutors use the formulas for parting, ending communication. They wish (All the best (good) to you! Goodbye!); hope for a new meeting (Until the evening (tomorrow, Saturday); I hope we part for a short time. I hope to see you soon); doubt about the possibility of meeting again (Farewell! It is unlikely that we will see each other again. Do not remember dashingly!)

In addition to the usual forms of farewells, there is a long-established ritual compliment. A tactfully and timely compliment, it cheers up the addressee, sets up a positive attitude towards the opponent. A compliment is said at the beginning of a conversation, at a meeting, acquaintance or during a conversation, at parting. A compliment is always nice. Only an insincere compliment is dangerous, a compliment for the sake of a compliment, an overly enthusiastic compliment.

The compliment refers to the appearance, indicates the excellent professional abilities of the addressee, his high morality, gives an overall positive assessment

- You look good (excellent, fine).

- You are (so, very) charming (smart, resourceful, practical).

- You are a good (excellent, excellent) specialist.

- It is pleasant (excellent, good) to deal with you (work, cooperate).

- It was nice to meet you!

- You are a very nice (interesting) person (interlocutor)

The absence of a farewell ritual or its indistinctness or crumpledness does not in any way indicate that the person left “in English”, this indicates either a negative, hostile or hostile attitude of a person or his banal bad manners.

2.4 Features of speech etiquette in remote communication, communication by telephone, Internet

Scientific and technological progress has introduced a new culture of communication into etiquette - communication by telephone. What is the specificity of a telephone conversation as one of the types of speech activity? ON THE. Akishina in her book “Speech Etiquette of Russian Telephone Conversation” reveals this problem in this way: “ A telephone conversation is included in the number of types of speech communication carried out with the help of technical means. The peculiarity of a telephone conversation in this system is as follows:

1. Telephone conversation is not a means of mass communication

2. This is a form of communication with feedback, which brings it closer to a direct form of oral speech communication.

3. A telephone conversation is characterized by unpreparedness, spontaneous flow, unlike most other types of verbal communication carried out with the help of technical means.

4. A telephone conversation is a form of dialogic speech. The specificity of telephone communication excludes polylogue as a form of communication (as opposed to a selector)

5. The etiquette of a telephone conversation requires a short flow of time, which is caused by the following reasons: the impossibility of talking with many subscribers at once;

As can be seen from the above, a telephone conversation is a form of oral spontaneous dialogue carried out with the help of technical means.

Unlike contact oral speech communication, a telephone conversation is distant and indirect. The interlocutors do not see each other, and therefore such important means of non-verbal communication as somatisms (gestures, posture, facial expressions, facial expressions), reliance on the situation, the significance of the spatial location of the interlocutors are disabled, and this leads to the activation of verbal expression.

Call types:

Depending on the target setting of the caller, several types of telephone conversation can be distinguished.

1.) Inquiry

2.) Various orders, challenges

3.) Transfer of information

4.) Congratulations

5.) Keeping in touch

Depending on the relationship of subscribers and the situation, telephone conversations differ:

1.) Official (business) - between strangers or unfamiliar people.

2.) Informal (frequent)

3.) Neutral - between acquaintances, but equal in position and age

4.) Friendly - between close people

Phone rules:

1.) Distinguish between formal and informal conversations. Business calls are made on work phones, informal calls are made on home phones.

2.) It is indecent to call before 9 am and after 10 pm.

3.) You can’t call strangers, if you have to do this, you must definitely explain who gave the phone.

4.) The conversation should not be long - 3-5 minutes

5.) The subscriber who is being called is not required to identify himself, even if it is a business phone.

6.) It is not permissible for the caller to start a conversation with questions: “Who is talking?”, “Who is on the phone?”

The semantic parts of a telephone conversation

1.) Establishing contact (identification, hearing test)

2.) Starting a conversation (greeting, question about the opportunity to speak, questions about life, affairs, health, message about the purpose of the call)

3.) Development of the topic (deployment of the topic, exchange of information, expression of opinions)

4.) End of the conversation (final phrases summarizing the topic of the conversation, etiquette phrases, farewell)

2.5 National differences in speech etiquette in different countries

Speech etiquette is an important element of any national culture. In the language, speech behavior, stable formulas (stereotypes) of communication, a rich folk experience, the uniqueness of customs, lifestyle, and living conditions of each people were deposited. And that is infinitely valuable. Therefore, a few words about the national specifics of speech etiquette. Let's look into our own wealth, and to our neighbors too. I. Ehrenburg left such an interesting testimony: “Europeans, greeting, extend their hand, and a Chinese, Japanese or Indian is forced to shake the limb of a stranger. If a visitor would stick his bare foot to Parisians or Muscovites, it would hardly cause delight. A resident of Vienna says “I kiss your hand”, without thinking about the meaning of his words, and a resident of Warsaw, when he is introduced to a lady, mechanically kisses her hand. The Englishman, outraged by the tricks of his competitor, writes to him: "Dear sir, you are a swindler", without "dear sir" he cannot begin the letter. Christians, entering a church, church or church, take off their hats, and a Jew, entering the synagogue, covers his head. In Catholic countries, women should not enter the temple with their heads uncovered. In Europe, the color of mourning is black, in China it is white. When a Chinese man sees for the first time how a European or an American goes hand in hand with a woman, sometimes even kissing her, it seems to him extremely shameless. In Japan, one cannot enter a house without taking off one's shoes; in restaurants, men in European suits and socks sit on the floor. In a Beijing hotel, the furniture was European, but the entrance to the room was traditionally Chinese - a screen did not allow entry directly; it is connected with the notion that the devil is going straight ahead; but according to our ideas, the devil is cunning, and it doesn’t cost him anything to bypass any partition. If a guest comes to a European and admires a picture on the wall, a vase or other trinket, then the host is satisfied. If a European begins to admire a little thing in a Chinese house, the owner gives him this item - this is required by politeness. My mother taught me that you shouldn’t leave anything on a plate at a party. In China, no one touches the cup of dry rice served at the end of the meal - you need to show that you are full. The world is diverse, and one should not puzzle over this or that custom: if there are foreign monasteries, then, consequently, there are foreign charters ”(I. Ehrenburg. People, years, life). The national specificity of speech etiquette in each country is extremely bright, because, as we see, the unique features of the language here are superimposed by the features of rituals, habits, everything accepted and not accepted in behavior, permitted and prohibited in social etiquette. Sometimes, in the most unexpected way, the national and cultural features of the speech behavior of the speakers are manifested. Let us refer to an excerpt from the book of essays by K. Chapek, in which he describes the meeting and exchange of greetings between two Czechs: “- Hello, how are you? - Yes, bad, not so hot! And don't speak! What's the matter? Uh, you know how many worries!... Well, what can you say about worries? I would like your worries! Well, dear, if you were in my shoes, then you would not be greeted! ... And how are you? Yes, you know, it doesn't matter! How about health? So-so. What do you have at home? Nothing, we squeak! So be healthy! - My regards! » Isn't it true, it seems that the interlocutors are not doing well. But, citing such a dialogue, K. Capek says that if the reader understands that those who met are not so well and their health has deteriorated, he will be mistaken. It's just that a Czech, when meeting according to custom, habit, is not inclined to say that his life is going well, he rather prefers to complain. However, he complains in a cheerful tone and, as it were, boasts of worries, is proud of difficulties and sorrows, because, according to his ideas, only an idler lives without difficulties. A serious person has only worries on his mind. Well, if the neighbor to the question: How are you? - will answer that everything is fine with him, then he will immediately arouse a vague suspicion: he is hiding something! How curious are the national features of the use of speech etiquette! According to observations, the Russians to the question: How are you? - they prefer an average answer: Nothing!, but it is not uncommon to hear from a Bulgarian: Good! In general, the specificity of greetings and all kinds of information when meeting with different peoples is very interesting. According to B. Bgazhnokov, who studied the etiquette of the Adygs, the extremely common Russian Hello! corresponds to many ways to greet, depending on whether a man or a woman, an old man or a young person acts as an addressee, a horseman or a traveler, a shepherd or a blacksmith ... The Mongols also have a great variety. Greetings and business briefings vary by season. In autumn they ask: Are the cattle fat? Are you having a good time in autumn? in spring: Do you meet spring safely? winter: How do you winter? In general, the most common greeting even for city dwellers, even for intellectuals, is a stereotype that reflects the nomadic lifestyle of pastoralists: How do you roam?; How are your livestock? And the Russians, of course, have more than one thing in common. Hello. We have, as we have already said, about 40 greetings, or even more. And there is such, however, outdated, which is sent to the worker: God help; there is also for the visitor. Welcome!; With the arrival, and for the incoming: You are welcome! (with an invitation together), there is for a bather: Enjoy your bath!, there are greetings depending on the time of day: Good afternoon .; Good morning.; Good evening!, but there is also someone who has not been seen for a long time: How many winters, how many years! And many more greetings from us! F. Folsom in "The Book of Language" (M. 1974) says that the ancient Greeks greeted each other: Rejoice!, and modern Greeks: Be healthy! The Arabs say: Peace be with you!, and the Navajo Indians: All is well! Russians ask: “How are you?” But the ancient Egyptians believed that when meeting for a short time there was no time, and there was no point in doing an analysis of their health. They asked specifically: "How do you sweat?" As you can see, the most diverse stereotypes of speech etiquette captured the features of everyday life. There are many examples of national specifics of speech and non-verbal behavior of different peoples in communicative situations. Each of the Russians who find themselves in any republic or country immediately notices such features. Here are my impressions of China: “One observation. Showing, even talking about themselves, the Chinese manage to talk more with you about you than about themselves, as if retreating into the shadows, stewed very delicately. But don't let this behavior fool you. At the same time, the Chinese are very attentively watching how delicate you are, still being able to insist on your interest in him ”(L Vasilyeva. Undreamed China). Or impressions about. Kazakhstan: “I soon realized that this simplicity was apparent - beads of sweat appeared on the master’s forehead, but he was still friendly and smiling, handing over the converted samovar to the customer, he invariably repeated: “Kutty bolsyn!” which can be translated as: "Happy to use." Only in the Kazakh language it sounds even more cordial ... ”(From the newspaper). Or impressions about England: “I have already said that an English boy of about thirteen often came to my son. The wife treated them to tea with buns or cakes. Every time after tea, the guy came to the kitchen and said to my wife: Thank you very much, Mrs. Orestov, for tea and very tasty buns. I haven't eaten such wonderful cakes for a long time, thank you. It does not matter that the cakes were bought in a nearby confectionery, where the boy's parents also buy them. He just knows for sure that it is impossible to leave someone else's house without thanking and praising the treat ”(O. Orestov. Another life and a distant shore). How much goodness in speech etiquette and how much national culture? Good afternoon! and Good evening!; Welcome! Bread and salt!; Do not remember dashingly!; You are welcome to our hut!; Make yourself at home!; Come in, you will be a guest!; Please love and respect! - and always good wishes, goodwill, in which there is a deep original folk meaning. PART III: Conclusion: The importance of speech etiquette for the society and culture of the country (from the author)

In the process of writing this essay, I read quite a lot of literature on the culture of speech and speech etiquette. I learned a lot of interesting things about my language, the culture of my country, but, most importantly, I realized that speech and speech etiquette is one of the main forces of a person's self-identification in society. Finally, I realized that being Russian is not only speaking Russian, but speak correctly in Russian. Before me, through examples from speech etiquette, historical trends and features of Russian culture and the Russian language became visible. For example, the absence of references to the lower strata in the pre-revolutionary Russian language meant the actual slavish attitude of the higher strata to the lower strata, which in turn, most likely, was one of the main motivators and causes of the 1917 revolution. At the same time, in fact, the unique system of addresses you / you suggests that respect for the individual and his social status was cultivated in Russia more actively and more thoroughly than in other countries. Russian speech etiquette is one of the components of the national culture, which takes on the brunt of the preservation of the Russian ethnic group and statehood. Both the revival and the legislative consolidation of the norms of the rules of Russian etiquette and speech etiquette, including, should become a priority task for the state and society in the near future. After all, this will be a huge and fundamental step in the revival of Russia as one of the pillars of world culture and civilization, on the other hand, it will be a great contribution to the preservation and development of the Russian ethnos and state. REFERENCES: 1. Akishina A. A., Formanovskaya N. I. "Russian speech etiquette" M., 1983. 2. Goldin V.E. "Speech and Etiquette". M.: Enlightenment, 1983. 3.L.A. Vvedenskaya "Russian language and culture of speech", M. 2002 4. A.A. Akishina, "Speech etiquette of Russian telephone conversation", M. 2000 5. E.V. Arova "Be kind", M. 1998 6. M.D. Arkhangelskaya "Business etiquette or playing by the rules", M. 2001 7. Yanyshev V. E. Speech and etiquette. M., 1993. 8. F. Folsom "The Book of Language", M. 1974.

A person's speech is a very important characterological feature; it can be used to determine not only the level of education, but also the degree of his responsibility and discipline. Speech betrays his attitude towards other people, himself, his work. Therefore, any person who wants to achieve success in communicating with other people needs to work on his speech. The rules of speech etiquette, a summary of which each of us learns in childhood, contribute to a better understanding between people and help establish relationships.

The concept of speech etiquette

Etiquette is a set of norms and rules of conduct, usually an unwritten code that each person learns along with culture. Compliance with the rules of speech etiquette is usually not required by anyone to be executed in order or in writing, but they are mandatory for anyone who wants to establish relationships with other people. Speech etiquette prescribes the desired verbal design of typical communication situations. Nobody invented these rules intentionally, they were formed in the course of human communication over millennia. Each etiquette formula has its roots, functions and variants. Speech etiquette, etiquette rules are a sign of a well-mannered and polite person and subconsciously tune in to a positive perception of the person using them.

History of occurrence

The word "etiquette" in French came from Greece. Etymologically, it goes back to the root, meaning order, rule. In France, the word was used to refer to a special card on which the rules of seating and behavior at the royal table were written. But in the time of Louis the Fourteenth, the very phenomenon of etiquette, of course, does not arise, it has a much more ancient origin. The rules of speech etiquette, a summary of which can be described by the phrase "successful communication", begin to take shape when people had to learn to build relationships and negotiate with each other. Already in ancient times, there were rules of conduct that helped interlocutors overcome mutual distrust and establish interaction. So, the code of good behavior is described in the texts of the ancient Greeks, Egyptians. Etiquette rules in ancient times were a kind of ritual that prompted interlocutors that they were “of the same blood”, that they did not pose a threat. Each ritual had a verbal and non-verbal component. Gradually, the original meaning of many actions is lost, but the ritual and its verbal design are preserved and continue to be reproduced.

Functions of speech etiquette

A modern person often has a question about why the rules of speech etiquette are needed? Briefly, you can answer - to please other people. The main function of speech etiquette is to establish contact. When the interlocutor follows the general rules, this makes him more understandable and predictable, we subconsciously trust what is familiar to us more. This has been going on since primitive times, when the world around was very unguaranteed and danger threatened from everywhere, the observance of rituals was then extremely important. And when a communication partner performed a familiar set of actions, said the right words, this removed some of the distrust and facilitated contact. Today, our genetic memory also tells us that a person who follows the rules can be more trusted. The rules and norms of speech etiquette perform the function of forming a positive emotional atmosphere, helping to have a beneficial effect on the interlocutor. Speech etiquette also acts as a means of demonstrating respect for the interlocutor, helps to emphasize the status distribution of roles between communicators and the status of the communication situation itself - business, informal, friendly. Thus, the rules of speech etiquette are a tool Part of the tension is removed by simple etiquette formulas. Speech etiquette as a formal part of ethics performs a regulatory function, it helps to establish contacts, influences people's behavior in typical situations.

Types of speech etiquette

Like any speech, etiquette speech behavior is very different in its written and oral form. The written variety has more stringent rules, and in this form, etiquette formulas are more mandatory for use. The oral form is more democratic, some omissions or replacement of words with actions are allowed here. For example, sometimes instead of the word “Hello”, you can get by with a nod of your head or a slight bow.

Etiquette dictates the rules of behavior in certain areas and situations. It is customary to distinguish several different types of speech etiquette. Official, business or professional speech etiquette defines the rules of speech behavior in the performance of official duties, in negotiations, and in the preparation of documents. This view is rather highly formalized, especially in its written form. The rules of Russian speech etiquette in formal and informal settings can be very different, the first signal of the transition from one type of etiquette to another may be the change of appeal to “you” to the appeal to “you”. Everyday speech etiquette is more free than official, there is a large variability in key etiquette formulas. There are also such varieties of speech etiquette as diplomatic, military and religious.

Principles of modern speech etiquette

Any rules of conduct come from the universal principles of morality, and speech etiquette is no exception. The golden rule of speech etiquette is based on the main moral principle formulated by I. Kant: act towards others as you would like to be treated towards you. Thus, polite speech should also include such formulas that the person himself would be pleased to hear. The basic principles of speech etiquette are relevance, accuracy, brevity and correctness. The speaker must select speech formulas in accordance with the situation, the status of the interlocutor, the degree of acquaintance with him. In any case, you should speak as briefly as possible, but do not lose the meaning of what was said. And, of course, the speaker must respect his communication partner and try to build his statement in accordance with the rules of the Russian language. Speech etiquette is based on two more important principles: goodwill and cooperation. treats other people with an initial attitude of kindness, he must be sincere and friendly. Communicators on both sides should do everything to make communication productive, mutually beneficial and enjoyable for all participants.

Etiquette situations

Etiquette regulates behavior in various situations. Traditionally, speech differs significantly in official settings and in everyday life, as well as in different forms of its existence: in written or oral. However, there are general rules of speech etiquette in various speech situations. The list of such cases is the same for any spheres, cultures and forms. Standard etiquette situations include:

Greetings;

Attracting attention and appeal;

introduction and introduction;

Invitation;

Sentence;

Request;

Gratitude;

Refusal and consent;

Congratulations;

condolences;

Sympathy and consolation;

Compliment.

Each etiquette situation has a stable set of speech formulas that are recommended for use.

National features of etiquette

Speech etiquette is based on universal, universal moral principles. Therefore, its basis is the same in all cultures. Such universal principles, characteristic of all countries, include restraint in the manifestation of emotions, politeness, literacy and the ability to use standard speech formulas appropriate to the situation, a positive attitude towards the interlocutor. But the private implementation of universal norms can vary significantly in different national cultures. Variation usually manifests itself in the speech design of a standard situation. The general culture of communication affects the national speech etiquette. The rules of etiquette, for example, in Russian, involve maintaining a conversation even with strangers if you happened to be with them in a confined space (in a train compartment), while the Japanese and the British will try to remain silent in the same circumstances or speak on the most neutral topics. In order not to get into trouble in communicating with foreigners, you should, in preparation for the meeting, familiarize yourself with their etiquette rules.

Contact situation

The basic rules of speech etiquette at the beginning of a conversation are related to the speech design of greetings and appeals. For the Russian language, the main greeting formula is the word "hello". Its synonyms can be the phrases “greeting you” with an archaic connotation and “good afternoon, morning, evening” are more sincere compared to the main wording. The stage of greeting is one of the most important in establishing contact, the words should be pronounced with sincere intonation, with notes of positive emotionality.

The means of attracting attention are the words: “let / allow me to turn”, “forgive”, “sorry” and adding an explanatory phrase to them: representations, requests, suggestions.

Treatment situation

Appeal is one of the difficult etiquette situations, as it can be difficult to find the right name for the person you need to address. In the Russian language today, the address “mister / madam” is considered universal, but in speech they still do not always take root well due to negative connotations in Soviet times. The best treatment is by name, patronymic or by name, but it is not always possible. Worst option: handling the words "girl", "woman", "man". In a situation of professional communication, you can refer to the name of the position of a person, for example, “Mr. Director”. The general rules of speech etiquette can be briefly described as the desire for the comfort of communicants. In no case should the appeal indicate any personal characteristics (age, nationality, faith).

Contact termination situation

The final stage in communication is also very important, the interlocutors will remember it and you need to try to leave a positive impression. The usual rules of speech etiquette, examples of which we know from childhood, recommend using traditional phrases for parting: “goodbye”, “see you”, “goodbye”. However, the final stage should also include words of gratitude for the time spent on communication, perhaps for joint work. You can also additionally express hopes for continued cooperation, say parting words. Speech etiquette, rules of etiquette recommend maintaining a favorable impression at the end of contact, creating an emotional atmosphere of sincerity and warmth. This is helped by more stable formulas: “It was very pleasant to talk with you, I hope for further cooperation.” But formulaic phrases must be pronounced as sincerely and with feeling as possible, so that they acquire a true meaning. Otherwise, farewell will not leave the desired emotional response in the memory of the interlocutor.

Introduction and dating rules

The situation of acquaintance requires a solution to the issue of treatment. Business communication, contacts with unfamiliar people imply an appeal to “you”. According to the rules of speech etiquette, “you” is only possible within the framework of friendly and everyday communication. The presentation is made out with such phrases as “let me introduce you”, “get acquainted, please”, “let me introduce you”. The presenter also gives a brief description of the represented: “position, full name, place of work, or some particularly noteworthy detail.” Acquaintances must, in addition to voicing their name, say positive words: “pleased to meet you”, “very nice”.

Rules for congratulations and thanks

Modern rules of speech etiquette in Russian offer a fairly large range of formulas for From simple "thank you" and "thank you" to "infinitely grateful" and "much grateful." It is customary for a great service or gift to add an additional positive phrase to the words of gratitude, for example, “very nice”, “I am touched”, “you are so kind”. There are a lot of formulas for congratulations. When composing a congratulation on any occasion, it is worth considering individual words, in addition to the usual “congratulations”, which would emphasize the peculiarity of the occasion and the personality of the person honored. The text of the congratulations necessarily includes any wishes, it is desirable that they are not stereotyped, but correspond to the personality of the hero of the occasion. Congratulation should be pronounced with a special feeling that will give the words great value.

Rules for invitation, offer, request, consent and refusal

When inviting someone to take part in something, you should also follow the rules of speech etiquette. The situations of invitations, offers and requests are somewhat similar, in which the speaker always slightly lowers the status of his role in communication and emphasizes the importance of the interlocutor. The stable expressions of the invitation is the phrase “we have the honor to invite”, which notes the special importance of the invitee. For invitation, offer and request, the words “please”, “be kind”, “please” are used. In the invitation and the proposal, you can additionally say about your feelings for the invitee: “we will be glad / happy to see you”, “we are happy to offer you”. Request - a situation in which the speaker deliberately lowers his position in communication, but you should not overdo it, the traditional design of the request is the words: “please”, “could you”. Consent and refusal require different speech behavior. If consent can be extremely concise, then the refusal must be accompanied by mitigating and motivating wording, for example, “unfortunately, we are forced to refuse your offer, because at the moment ...”.

Rules of condolence, sympathy and apology

In dramatic and tragic etiquette, the rules of etiquette recommend expressing only Usually regret and sympathy should be accompanied by encouraging words, for example, "we sympathize with you in connection ... and sincerely hope that ...". Condolences are brought only on truly tragic occasions, it is also appropriate to tell about your feelings in them, it is worth offering help. For example, “I bring you my sincere condolences in connection with ... this loss caused me bitter feelings. If necessary, you can count on me."

Rules of approval and praise

Compliments are an important part of establishing a good relationship, these social strokes are an effective tool for establishing a good relationship. But giving compliments is an art. What distinguishes them from flattery is the degree of exaggeration. A compliment is just a slight exaggeration of the truth. The rules of speech etiquette in Russian say that a compliment and praise should always refer to a person, not to things, so the words: “how does this dress suit you” is a violation of the rules of etiquette, and the real compliment will be the phrase: “how beautiful you are in this the dress". It is possible and necessary to praise people for everything: for skills, character traits, for the results of their activities, for feelings.

In order to always be on top and not lose face, it is worth knowing the basic rules of speech etiquette “perfectly”. In the Russian language, as in any other culture of the world, there are certain subtleties and features of speech etiquette. Yes, there are not so few of them. However, knowing the rules of behavior in various speech situations will help you brilliantly make speeches, negotiate, and conduct personal conversations. You will learn how to negotiate and avoid various incidental situations that may cast doubt on your reputation.

What is speech etiquette?

It is worth starting with what the term “speech etiquette” itself means. Do I need to draw up rules of speech etiquette for myself, or is there some specific written set of norms?

In short, speech etiquette refers to the ability to communicate politely and tactfully.

If you constantly use these rules in everyday life, you can easily build good relationships with colleagues, neighbors, relatives, partners, friends, etc.

In short, the speech culture of behavior is not only a set of certain norms. It is also everyday communication. In some way, this is also a litmus test, which allows you to determine at the first communication how literate a person is, how polite, tactful. The level of speech etiquette helps to assess the social status and level of human development.

Despite the fact that every country, every culture has its own rules that help us understand what kind of person it is, it is very difficult to identify all the rules of speech etiquette - there are so many of them.

Basic rules of speech etiquette

The main, basic rules of speech etiquette in Russian are varied. But it will not be difficult for you to understand them if you grew up in this country and the basic formulations or “starting formulas” were instilled in you from childhood. What it is? In fact, everything is not so difficult.

Under the starting formulas, linguists and psychologists usually mean a habit:

• greet the interlocutor correctly and in accordance with the situation;

• be sure to say goodbye;

• to thank for the offered help;

• apologize.

Many people learned these rules at an early age. But over the years, a person develops his own rules of speech etiquette, which he strives to strictly follow. What is it expressed in? It’s not at all that adults can be rude to an interlocutor or utter a bad word. Not at all! With experience, a person learns to politely maintain a conversation, even if he is not familiar with the topic.

It is important here not to abruptly interrupt the conversation and not to refuse it. This is uncivilized! Also, over the years, we learn to correctly and correctly express our point of view. Even if it does not correspond to generally accepted standards, it is important to communicate it politely.

The main stages of each speech situation

Following the basic rules of speech etiquette, each person must understand that any conversation is divided into 3 stages:

1. Introduction (or greeting).
2. Main part.
3. Conclusion.

Each of the stages has certain features. It would seem that everyone knows what rules of speech etiquette "work" in the first part of the conversation. Still, it wouldn't hurt to repeat them. It is very important to choose the right phrases for greetings. They depend on your interlocutor. His age, social status, gender should be taken into account. But there are no clear boundaries and restrictions here. That is, you can say “Good morning!”, “Hello!”, “Hello!”. The first and last options are universal. They apply in every situation. After all, their meaning indicates a polite attitude. "Hey!" and similar phrases are permissible only in dialogue with friends and some relatives.

Also, there are no uniform formulas for communication in the main part of the conversation. A lot depends on the situation, the goals of the conversation and many other factors. To determine the line of conduct and the rules of speech etiquette, you need to know the facts, that is, the interlocutor himself and the essence of the conversation.

Another important aspect is a well-formed conclusion. Here, too, there are certain subtleties. According to general norms, it is customary to say the words of farewell and discuss the possibility of the next meeting. There are also generic phrases here. If you do not know how to end a conversation in a given situation, then use the generally accepted wording. These may be variants of "All the best!" or "Goodbye!".

Principles of speech etiquette

Speech etiquette is based on certain principles. There is nothing difficult in their comprehension, since all these are generally accepted moral principles and values.

Accordingly, when conducting any conversation, you should rely on a respectful attitude towards the interlocutor, do not interrupt him, do not raise your voice, do not shout, do not insult, do not speak in parallel.

It would seem that everything is elementary simple. But it is still worth highlighting the basic principles of the rules of speech behavior in Russian:

• brevity;

• politeness;

• accuracy;

• literacy;

• relevance.

Here are the main components of successful communication in a business environment and in everyday interpersonal interaction.

Goodwill and readiness for mutual cooperation - these are the basics of etiquette. If you follow these laws, then pleasant communication is guaranteed to you. In addition, this approach provides an opportunity to clearly agree on productive cooperation.

It is important to be able to select phrases that are appropriate in a given situation. In this case, it is required to take into account the social status and age of the interlocutor. Don't forget how familiar you are with him.

Wherever you and I are - on the street, at home, in the office, on a trip, we greet and say goodbye daily and many times, thank and apologize, congratulate and condole, ask and offer, invite and refuse, and, of course, “say friend compliments to a friend! The ability to communicate respectfully and tactfully, that is, to use speech etiquette, allows us to feel comfortable when communicating with acquaintances and strangers, with friends, with lovers, with a boss, etc. Otherwise, we run the risk of being branded as ignorant and rude, unable to properly get in touch, support him, and also competently get out of it.

Looking into history, the word "etiquette" - French, was first used at the court of Louis XIV, when puzzled guests were issued cards (labels) with instructions on how they should behave at the court of the highly esteemed king. Now the generally accepted rules of communication are firmly entrenched in and every more or less educated person must follow them without fail.

What is the role of speech etiquette?

Firstly, speech etiquette helps to avoid conflict situations. Saying to the interlocutor “Sorry”, “I beg your pardon”, we remove the tension that has arisen in communication, if it suddenly occurs.

Secondly, speech etiquette is able to show the level of closeness of interlocutors. For example, when we greet people we hold in high regard, we say

“Hello!”, “My respect!”, “I am glad to welcome you!”. Meanwhile, we address the words “Hello! Who do I see!

Thirdly, he is able to establish social boundaries between people, dividing into official speech etiquette and unofficial, the phrases “Let me greet you!”, “Good afternoon!”, “Hello!”, with the unofficial “Hello!” or "Hey!".

In the case of communicating with strangers, speech etiquette generally becomes an indispensable assistant. How do you imagine addressing a stranger with any request without using the words “Sorry”, “Could you”? And further farewell to him without “Thank you”, “Thank you”? That is, speech etiquette also determines the norm of purely human relations between interlocutors to each other, when you thank someone for the help provided, gratitude should be sincere, come from the heart. It is also customary to act in a situation where one of the participants in the communication had a misfortune, the expression of grief and sympathy should be genuine.

At the same time, there may not be a sincere interest in each other. Greeting someone, we only show that we noticed a person, recognized him and distinguished him from all other people. It is interesting to define the speech etiquette of N. I. Formanovskaya as only mutual “social stroking” of interlocutors.

With the help of speech etiquette, you also demonstrate the level of your upbringing and the degree of politeness that you managed to achieve in the process of this upbringing. Politeness is a manifestation of respect of communication partners for each other. It is also associated with correctness, courtesy, deference, tact. Nevertheless, it should be remembered that emphasized politeness can establish an insurmountable distance between the interlocutors or even greatly hurt and offend a person close to you.

Feedback is also important in speech etiquette. Intonations and gestures used in relation to individuals are not permissible in relation to others. For example, it is difficult to imagine the teacher of your son or daughter, familiarly patting you on the shoulder when they meet, or the bewilderment of the same teacher if you wrap him up in your arms after parting.

And yet, the main function of speech etiquette is the correct entry into contact, its competent maintenance and the ability to get out of it correctly. Having mastered the rules of speech etiquette, you will adapt in any social group, which is a necessary condition for a successful career.

Speech etiquette has its own national characteristics, and even if we perfectly master the language without mastering the rules of speech etiquette adopted in a given language community, our communication with representatives of a particular culture is doomed to failure. In Western countries, for example, to a greeting and the question “How are you?” it is customary to answer “Good!”, while in Russia the answer is rather neutral and less emotionally colored, we say “Normal”, “Nothing”, “Little by little”. The Japanese never finish sentences in a conversation first, so as not to seem tactless, preferring the interlocutor to do it.

Speech etiquette undergoes changes over time. Some expressions and phrases of speech etiquette, adopted in the time of Pushkin, have irretrievably sunk into oblivion. For example, the expressions “I humbly thank you”, “I bow down”, “Thank you”, “Your obedient servant”. Agree, in our time they sound strange and ridiculous, and Alexander Sergeevich was very fond of signing his letters with the last phrase from this list.

Interestingly, different social groups have slightly different speech behavior: more educated people prefer to use the pronoun “you” rather than “you” in relation to the interlocutor. And women communicate more politely than men, as they are not inclined to use swear words in a conversation.

Well, in the end, we will give some formulas of speech etiquette generally accepted in our society.

If you need to get acquainted with a complete stranger, it is customary to say, “Let me meet you,” “Let's get to know each other.”

Greetings that emphasize the joy of meeting are “Good to see you!”, “Welcome!”, “Glad to greet!”.

Words of condolences “I sincerely sympathize with you”, “I offer my deepest condolences”, “I share your grief”.

Congratulations with the words “Let me congratulate”, “Accept sincere congratulations”, “I cordially congratulate”.

And finally, parting with the hope of meeting is expressed in words

Today, correct and cultured speech no longer occupies its former dominant place in society. Most people communicate without due respect and respect for each other, thereby giving rise to misunderstandings, unnecessary quarrels and swearing.

If you adhere to certain norms of speech etiquette, then everyday communication will bring pleasure and joy, turning it into strong friendships, business contacts, families.

Peculiarities

First of all, you need to find out what etiquette is. Summarizing most of the definitions, we can conclude that etiquette is a set of generally accepted rules regarding the norms of behavior, appearance, and communication between people. In turn, speech etiquette is certain linguistic norms of communication that are well-established in society.

This concept appeared in France during the reign of Louis XIV. Court ladies and gentlemen were given special “labels” - cards with recommendations on how to behave at the table at a banquet, when a ball was in progress, a solemn reception of foreign guests was taking place, etc. In this “compulsory” way, the foundations of behavior were laid, which over time, they entered the common people.

From time immemorial and to this day, in the culture of each ethnic group, there have been and still exist their own special norms of communication and behavior in society. These rules help to tactfully enter into verbal contact with a person without hurting his personal feelings and emotions.

Features of speech etiquette are in a number of linguistic and social properties:

1. The inevitability of the implementation of etiquette forms. This means that if a person wants to be a full-fledged part of society (a group of people), then he must comply with generally accepted norms of behavior. Otherwise, society may reject him - people will not want to communicate with him, maintain close contact.
2. Speech etiquette is a public courtesy. It is always flattering to communicate with a well-mannered person, and it is especially pleasant to respond with a mutual “kind” word. It is not uncommon for people to be unpleasant to each other, but they ended up in the same team. This is where speech etiquette will help out, because all people want comfortable communication without swear words and harsh expressions.
3. The need to comply with speech formulas. The speech action of a cultured person cannot do without a sequence of stages. The beginning of the conversation always begins with a greeting, then comes the main part - the conversation. The dialogue ends with farewell and nothing else.
4. Smoothing conflicts and conflict situations. Saying "I'm sorry" or "I'm sorry" at the right time will help to avoid unnecessary conflicts.
5. The ability to show the level of relationships between interlocutors. For people in a close circle, as a rule, warmer words of greeting and communication in general are used (“Hi”, “How nice to see you”, etc.). Unfamiliar people simply adhere to the "official" ("Hello", "Good afternoon").

The manner of communicating with people is always a direct indicator of the level of upbringing of a person. To become a worthy member of society, it is necessary to develop communication skills, without which it will be very difficult in the modern world.

Formation of a culture of communication

From the moment of birth, the child begins to receive the necessary knowledge for the formation of skills and abilities. Speaking skill is the basis of conscious communication, without which it is difficult to exist. Now he is given great attention not only in the family, but also in educational institutions (school, university). The culture of communication is understood as a model of speech behavior, which must be relied upon when talking with another individual. Its full formation depends on many components: the environment in which a person grew up, the level of upbringing of his parents, the quality of education received, personal aspirations.

Building a culture of communication skills is a long and complex process. It is based on a number of goals and objectives, having achieved which, you can fully master the skill of tactful and polite communication with people in secular society and at home. They are aimed (goals and objectives) at developing the following qualities:

1. sociability as an individual property of a person;
2. the formation of communicative relationships in society;
3. lack of isolation from society;
4. social activity;
5. improving academic performance;
6. the development of an individual's rapid adaptation to a variety of activities (playing, learning, etc.).

The relationship of culture and speech

Each person sees and feels an invisible connection between the culture of speech and etiquette. It seems that these concepts are absolutely close and equal to each other, but this is not entirely true. To begin with, it is necessary to define what culture is in the broadest sense.

Culture is understood as the presence of certain communicative qualities and knowledge in a person, good erudition, and as a result, sufficient vocabulary, awareness in a number of many issues, the presence of education, as well as the ability to behave in society and alone with oneself.

In turn, the culture of conversation or communication is the image of the individual's speech, his ability to conduct a conversation, express his thoughts in a structured way. This concept is very difficult to understand, so there is still a lot of debate about the accuracy of this definition.

In Russia and abroad, this branch of linguistics as a science is engaged in the development of communication rules and their systematization. Also, the culture of speech means the study and application of the rules and norms of written and oral speech, punctuation, accentology, ethics and other sections of linguistics.

From a scientific point of view, speech is defined as "right" or "wrong". This implies the correct use of words in various language situations. Examples:

• “Go home already! "(correctly say - go);
• “Put bread on the table? "(The word "lay down" is not used without prefixes, therefore it is necessary to use only such correct forms - put, lay out, impose, etc.)

If a person calls himself cultural, then it is assumed that he has a number of distinctive qualities: he has a large or above average vocabulary, the ability to correctly and competently express his thoughts, the desire to increase the level of knowledge in the field of linguistics and ethical standards. From ancient times to this day, literary speech has been the standard of etiquette and highly cultured communication. The basis of the correct Russian language lies in the classical works. Therefore, it can be said with certainty that speech etiquette is completely interconnected with the culture of communication.

Without a quality education, good upbringing and a special desire to improve communicative qualities, a person will not be able to fully observe the culture of speech, as he will simply be poorly acquainted with it. The environment has a special influence on the formation of the language culture of the individual. Speech habits are “worked out” among friends and relatives.

Moreover, speech culture is directly related to such an ethical category as politeness, which, in turn, also characterizes the speaker (polite or rude). In this regard, we can say that people who do not comply with the norms of communication show the interlocutor the lack of culture, their bad manners and impoliteness. For example, a person does not say hello at the beginning of a conversation, uses profanity, swear words, does not use the respectful address "you" when it was expected and implied.

Speech etiquette is closely intertwined with the culture of communication. To improve the level of speech, it is necessary not only to study the formulas of official dialogue, but also to improve the quality of knowledge by reading classical literature and communicating with polite and highly intelligent people.

Functions

Speech etiquette performs a number of important functions. Without them, it is difficult to form an idea about it, as well as to understand how it manifests itself at the moment of communication between people.

One of the dominant functions of the language is communicative, because the basis of speech etiquette is communication. In turn, it consists of a number of other tasks, without which it would not be able to fully function:

• Social(aimed at establishing contact). This implies the initial establishment of communication with the interlocutor, maintaining attention. Sign language plays a special role at the stage of establishing contact. As a rule, people look eye to eye, smile. Usually this is done unconsciously, on a subconscious level, in order to show the joy of meeting and starting a dialogue, they extend their hand for a handshake (with close acquaintance).
• Connotative. This function is aimed at showing politeness towards each other. This applies both to the beginning of the dialogue and to all communication in general.
• Regulatory. It is directly related to the above. From the name it is clear that it regulates relations between people during communication. In addition, its purpose is to convince the interlocutor of something, to encourage him to act, or vice versa, to prohibit doing something.
• emotional. Each conversation has its own level of emotionality, which is set from the very beginning. It depends on the degree of acquaintance of people, the room in which they are located (a public place or a cozy table in the corner of a cafe), as well as on the mood of each individual at the time of speech.

Some linguists complete this list with the following features:

• imperative. It involves the influence of opponents on each other during a conversation through gestures and facial expressions. With the help of open poses, you can win over a person, scare or pressure, “increasing your volumes” (the speaker throws his arms high and wide, spreads his legs, looks up).
• Discussion-polemical. In other words, a dispute.

Based on the above functions, the following series of properties of speech etiquette are distinguished:

1. thanks to him, a person can feel like a full-fledged part of the team;
2. it helps to establish communication links between people;
3. helps to find out information about the interlocutor;
4. with its help you can show your degree of respect for the opponent;
5. speech etiquette helps to establish a positive emotional mood, which helps to prolong the conversation and make more friendly contact.

The above functions and properties once again prove that speech etiquette is the basis of communication between people, which helps a person start a conversation and finish it tactfully.

Kinds

If you turn to the modern dictionary of the Russian language, then you can find a definition of speech as a form of communication between people with the help of sounds that form the basis of words from which sentences are built, and gestures.

In turn, speech can be internal (“dialogue in the head”) and external. External communication is divided into written and oral. Oral communication takes the form of a dialogue or monologue. Moreover, written speech is secondary, and oral speech is primary.

Dialogue is a process of communication between two or more individuals for the purpose of exchanging information, impressions, experiences, emotions. A monologue is a speech by one person. It can be addressed to the audience, to oneself or to the reader.

Written speech is more conservative in its structure than oral speech. It also strictly “requires” the use of punctuation marks, the purpose of which is to convey the exact intention and emotional component. Translating words into writing is a complex and interesting process. Before writing anything, a person thinks about what exactly he wants to say and convey to the reader, and then how to write it down correctly (grammatically and stylistically).

Audible verbal communication is spoken language. It is situational, limited by time and space, where the speaker directly speaks. Oral communication can be characterized by categories such as:

• content (cognitive, material, emotional, inciting to action and activity);
• interaction technique (role communication, business, secular, etc.);
• purpose of communication.

If we talk about speech in a secular society, then in this situation people communicate on topics that are prescribed in speech etiquette. In fact, this is an empty, pointless and polite communication. To some extent, it can be called mandatory. People may perceive a person's behavior as an insult in their direction if he does not communicate and does not greet anyone at a social reception or corporate party.

In a business conversation, the main task is to achieve agreement and approval from the opponent in any issue or matter of interest.

Elements of speech

The purpose of any speech act is to influence the interlocutor. The conversation was created in order to convey information to a person, to have fun, to convince him of something. Speech is a unique phenomenon that is observed only in a human being. The more meaningful and expressive it is, the greater the effect it will produce.

It should be understood that words written on paper will have less impact on the reader than phrases spoken aloud with emotion embedded in them. The text cannot convey the whole “palette” of the mood of the individual who wrote it.

The following elements of speech are distinguished:

• Content. This is one of the most important elements, since it reflects the speaker's true knowledge, his vocabulary, well-read, as well as the ability to convey to the audience the main topic of the conversation. If the speaker "floats" in the topic, is poorly informed and uses expressions and phrases that are incomprehensible to him, then the listener will immediately understand this and lose interest. If this is often observed for an individual, then interest in him as a person will soon be lost.
• Naturalness of speech. First of all, a person must be sure of what he says and how he says it. This will help to have a natural dialogue without taking on any role. It is much easier for people to perceive calm speech without "official" and pretense. It is very important that the posture of the speaking individual is also natural. All movements, turns, steps should be smooth, measured.

• Composition. This is a consistent, ordered arrangement of parts of speech and their logical relationship. The composition is divided into five stages: establishing contact, introduction, main speech, conclusion, summing up. If you remove one of them, then the delivery of information will be a more difficult process.
• Clarity. Before you say something, you need to think about whether the listener will understand you correctly. Therefore, it is necessary to select appropriate stylistic means of expressing thoughts. The speaker should pronounce the words clearly and moderately loudly, keep a certain pace (not too fast, but not too slow), and the sentences should be moderate in length. Try to reveal the meaning of abbreviations and complex foreign concepts.
• Emotionality. It is clear that a person's speech must always convey a certain proportion of emotions. They can be conveyed with the help of intonation, expression and "juicy" words. Thanks to this, the opponent will be able to fully understand the essence of the conversation and become interested.
• Eye contact. This element of speech helps not only to establish contact, but also to keep it. Through eye-to-eye contact, people show their interest and also demonstrate their involvement in the conversation. But visual contact must be established correctly. If you look intently and do not blink, the interlocutor may perceive this as an act of aggression.
• Non-verbal communication. Gestures, facial expressions and postures play a big role during a conversation. They help convey information, convey their attitude to the words spoken and win over the interlocutor. It is always pleasant to listen to a person who “helps” himself with his face and hands. Ordinary verbal communication is boring and dry, without gestures and facial expressions.

The above elements of speech help to analyze any person, to understand how educated, erudite and educated he is.

Language of the body

Sometimes non-verbal communication can reveal more than the individual is trying to say. In this regard, in the course of communication with an unfamiliar person, management or colleague, it is necessary to monitor your gestures and movements. Non-verbal transmission of information is almost subconscious and can affect the emotional mood of the conversation.

Body language includes gestures, postures, facial expressions. In turn, gestures are individual (they can be associated with physiological characteristics, habits), emotional, ritual (when a person is baptized, prays, etc.) and generally accepted (hold out a hand for a handshake).

An important mark on the body language postpones human activity. It can also change depending on environmental factors.

Thanks to gestures and postures, you can understand the readiness of the opponent to communicate. If he uses open gestures (legs or arms are not crossed, he is not standing half a turn), then this means that the person is not closing and wants to communicate. Otherwise (with closed poses), it is better not to bother, but to chat another time.

A conversation with an official or boss is not always carried out when you really want it. Therefore, you need to control your body in order to avoid unpleasant questions.

Masters of oratory advise not to clench your palms into fists, not to hide your hands back (perceived as a threat), try not to close yourself (cross your legs, it is especially unethical to put your foot on your foot in such a way that the toe “pokes” at the interlocutor).

During the speech act, it is better to avoid touching the nose, eyebrows, earlobes. This may be perceived as a gesture indicating a lie in the words.

Particular attention should be paid to the facial muscles. What is in the soul is what is on the face. Of course, when talking with a close friend, you can let go of your emotions, but in the business world, this is unacceptable. At interviews, negotiations and business meetings, it is better not to squeeze or bite your lips.(this is how a person expresses his distrust and concern), try to look into the eyes or at the whole audience. If the gaze is constantly averted to the side or down, then this is how a person expresses his disinterest, fatigue.

According to the rules of speech etiquette with strangers and in an official setting, it is better to keep yourself restrained, without unnecessary emotional leaks. As for the usual everyday communication with friends and family, in this case, you can afford to relax so that gestures and postures echo the words spoken.

Basic rules and regulations

Speech etiquette requires a person to comply with certain norms, since without them the very culture of communication would not exist. The rules are divided into two groups: strictly prohibiting and more advisory in nature (they are determined by the situation and the place in which communication takes place). Speech behavior also has its own rules.

• compliance of the language with literary norms;
• excerpt of stages (first there is a greeting, then the main part of the conversation, then the end of the conversation);
• avoiding swear words, rudeness, tactless and disrespectful behavior;
• choosing the appropriate tone and manner of communication for the situation;
• the use of precise terminology and professionalism without errors.

The regulation of speech etiquette lists the following communication rules:

• in your speech, you must try to avoid "empty" words that do not carry the meaning of words, as well as monotonous speech turns and expressions; Communication should take place at a level accessible to the interlocutor, while using understandable words and phrases.
• in the process of dialogue, let the opponent speak, do not interrupt him and listen to the end;
• the most important thing is to be polite and tactful.

Formulas

At the heart of any conversation is a set of norms and rules that must be followed. In speech etiquette, the concept of speech formulas is distinguished. They help to “decompose” a conversation between people into stages. There are the following stages of the conversation:

• Start of communication(greeting the interlocutor or getting to know him). Here, as a rule, the person himself chooses the form of address. It all depends on the gender of the people entering into the dialogue, their age and emotional state. If they are teenagers, then they can say to each other “Hi! and that will be fine. In the case when people starting a conversation have a different age group, it is better to use the words “Hello”, “Good afternoon / evening”. When these are old acquaintances, communication can begin very emotionally: “How glad I am to see you! ", "Long time no see! ". There are no strict regulations at this stage if this is ordinary everyday communication, but in the case of business meetings, it is necessary to adhere to the “high” style.
• Main conversation. In this part, the development of the dialogue depends on the situation. It can be an ordinary fleeting meeting on the street, a solemn event (wedding, anniversary, birthday), a funeral or an office conversation. In the case when it is some kind of holiday, then the communication formulas are divided into two branches - inviting the interlocutor to a celebration or a significant event and congratulations (congratulatory speech with wishes).
• Invitation. In this situation, it is better to use the following words: “I would like to invite you”, “I will be glad to see you”, “please accept my invitation”, etc.
• Wishes. Here the speech formulas are as follows: “accept my congratulations from the bottom of my heart”, “let me congratulate you”, “on behalf of the whole team I wish ...”, etc.

Sad events associated with the loss of a loved one, etc. It is very important that encouraging words do not sound dry and official, without the proper emotional coloring. It is very absurd and inappropriate to communicate with a person in such grief with a smile and active gestures. In these difficult days for a person, it is necessary to use the following phrases: “accept my condolences”, “I sincerely sympathize with your grief”, “be strong in spirit”, etc.

Working office days. It should be understood that communication with a colleague, subordinate and leader will have different speech etiquette formulas. In a dialogue with each of the listed people, words of compliments, advice, encouragement, a request for a service, etc. can occur.

• Tips and requests. When a person advises an opponent, the following patterns are used: “I would like to advise you ...”, “if you allow me, I will give you advice”, “I advise you”, etc. It is easy to agree that asking someone for a favor is sometimes difficult and uncomfortable. A well-mannered person will feel a little awkward. In such a situation, the following words are used: “can I ask you about ...”, “don’t consider it rude, but I need your help”, “please help me”, etc.

The individual experiences the same emotions when he needs to give up. To make it polite and ethical, you should use such speech formulas: “I beg your pardon, but I have to refuse”, “I’m afraid I can’t help you”, “I’m sorry, but I don’t know how to help you”, etc.

• Thanks. It is more pleasant to express gratitude, but it also needs to be presented correctly: “I thank you from the bottom of my heart”, “I am very grateful to you”, “thank you”, etc.
• Compliments and words of encouragement also require proper delivery. It is important that a person understands to whom he is complimenting, as this can be perceived as flattery by the management, and an unfamiliar person will consider him as rudeness or mockery. Therefore, the following expressions are regulated here: “you are an excellent companion”, “your skills in this matter helped us a lot”, “you look good today”, etc.

• Do not forget about the form of address to the person. Many sources indicate that at work and with unfamiliar people it is better to stick to the form "you", since "you" is a more personal and everyday address.
• End of communication. After the main part of the conversation has come to its climax, the third stage begins - the logical end of the dialogue. Saying goodbye to a person also has different forms. It can be a simple wish for a good day or good health. Sometimes the end of the dialogue can end with words of hope for a new meeting: “See you soon”, “I hope I see you not the last time”, “I would very much like to meet you again”, etc. Very often doubts are expressed that interlocutors have ever or they will meet again: “I’m not sure if we’ll see each other again”, “Don’t remember dashingly”, “I will remember only good things about you.”

These formulas are divided into 3 stylistic groups:

1. Neutral. Words without emotional connotation are used here. They are used in everyday communication, at work in the office, as well as at home (“hello”, “thank you”, “please”, “good day”, etc.).
2. Increased. The words and expressions of this group are intended for solemn and significant events. Usually they express the emotional state of a person and his thoughts (“I am very sorry”, “I am very glad to see you”, “I really hope to see you soon”, etc.).
3. Reduced. This includes phrases and expressions that are used in an informal setting among "their own". They can be very rude and colloquial (“salute”, “hello”, “healthy”). They are most often used by teenagers and young people.

All of the above speech etiquette formulas are not strict rules for daily communication. Of course, in an official setting, a certain order should be followed, but in everyday life you can use words that are closer to a “warm” conversation (“hello \ bye”, “pleased to meet you”, “see you tomorrow”, etc.).

Conducting a conversation

At first glance, it may seem that it is very easy to conduct a secular cultural conversation, but this is not entirely true. For a person without special communication skills, it will be difficult to bring this to life. Everyday communication with loved ones, friends and family is very different from business and official conversation.

For each type of speech communication, society has imposed certain limits and norms that require their strict observance. For example, everyone knows that in reading rooms, a library, a store, a cinema or a museum, you can’t talk loudly, sort out family relationships in public, discuss problems in a raised voice, etc.

Speech is spontaneous and situational, so it needs to be monitored and corrected (if required). Speech etiquette "calls" for loyalty, attentiveness to the interlocutor, as well as for the purity and correctness of speech as such.

• Prevention of swear words, insults, abuse and humiliation towards the opponent. Because of their use, the person who says them loses the respect of the listener. This is especially prohibited in the field of business communication (office, educational institution). The most important and basic rule is mutual respect during the dialogue.
• Lack of egocentricity in conversation. You need to try not to get hung up on yourself, your problems, experiences and emotions, you can’t be intrusive, boastful and annoying. Otherwise, soon a person simply will not want to communicate with such an individual.
• The interlocutor must show interest in communication. It is always nice to tell something to a person when he is interested in the subject of conversation. In this regard, eye contact, clarifying questions, open poses are very important.
• Correspondence of the topic of conversation with the place in which it occurs and with the person with whom it is conducted. Do not discuss personal or intimate matters with an unfamiliar interlocutor. The conversation will be awkward and repulsive. You also need to understand where the dialogue starts. For example, during a theatrical performance, it would be extremely inappropriate and tactless to carry on a conversation.

• A conversation should only be started if it really does not distract the opponent from something important. If it is clear that a person is in a hurry somewhere, doing something, then it is better to check with him the time when he can talk.
• The style of speech should correspond to the norms of a business conversation. In the context of the educational process or the work environment, it is necessary to monitor the spoken words, as there they can have consequences.
• Moderate gestures. The body gives out emotions and intentions. With strong and expressive gestures, it is difficult for the interlocutor to focus on the topic of conversation. Moreover, it can be regarded as a threat.
• Age limits must be respected. With a person several times older than himself, it is necessary to use the appeal to "you" or by name and patronymic. This shows respect for the interlocutor. With approximately the same age group, strangers should also use this form. If people are familiar, then communication can take place according to personal rules that have long been established. It will be very rude to “poke” in relation to a younger interlocutor from an adult.

Types of situations

Absolutely every dialogue or communication is a speech situation. Conversation between individuals can take many forms, depending on a number of factors. These include gender composition, time, place, subject, motive.

The gender of the interlocutor plays an important role. In terms of emotional coloring, the conversation of two young men will always differ from the dialogue of girls, as well as the dialogue between a man and a woman.

As a rule, speech etiquette implies the use of respectful forms of words by a man when addressing a girl, as well as the use of “you” in the case of a formal setting.

The use of various speech formulas directly depends on the place. If this is an official reception, meeting, interview and other important events, then the words “high-level” should be used here. In the case when this is an ordinary meeting on the street or on the bus, then stylistically neutral expressions and words can be used.

Speech situations are divided into the following types:

• Official business. Here there are people who perform the following social roles: a leader - a subordinate, a teacher - a student, a waiter - a visitor, etc. In this case, strict adherence to ethical norms and rules of speech culture is necessary. Violations will be immediately noted by the interlocutor and may bear consequences.
• Unofficial (informal). Communication here is calm and relaxed. There is no need for strict adherence to etiquette. In this situation, dialogues take place between relatives, close friends, classmates. But it is worth noting the fact that when a stranger appears in such a group of people, then the conversation from that moment should be built within the framework of speech etiquette.
• Semi-formal. This type has a very blurred framework of communicative contacts. Colleagues at work, neighbors, the family as a whole fall under it. People communicate according to the established rules of the team. This is a simple form of communication that has some ethical restrictions.

National and cultural traditions

One of the important assets of the people is culture and speech etiquette, which do not exist without each other. Each country has its own ethical standards and rules of communication. They can sometimes seem strange and unusual for a Russian person.

Each culture has its own speech formulas, originating from the origins of the formation of the nation and the state itself. They reflect the prevailing folk habits and customs, as well as the attitude of society towards men and women (as you know, in Arab countries it is considered unethical to touch a girl and communicate with her without the presence of a person accompanying her).

For example, residents of the Caucasus (Ossetians, Kabardians, Dagestanis and others) have specific greetings. These words are chosen for the situation: a person greets a stranger, a guest entering the house, a farmer in different ways. The beginning of the conversation also depends on age. It also differs by gender.

Residents of Mongolia also greet in a very unusual way. The words of greeting depend on the time of year. In winter, they may meet a person with the words: “How is the winter going? » This habit was left from a sedentary lifestyle, when you had to constantly move from place to place. In autumn, they may ask: “Do cattle have a lot of fat? »

If we talk about Eastern culture, then in China, at a meeting, they ask if a person is hungry, if he ate today. And the provincial people of Cambodia ask: “Are you happy today?”

Not only speech norms differ, but also gestures. Europeans, when meeting, hold out their hands for a handshake (men), and if they are very close acquaintances, they kiss on the cheek.

The inhabitants of the southern countries embrace, and in the East they make a small respectful bow. In this regard, it is very important to recognize such features and be prepared for them, otherwise you can simply offend a person without even knowing it.

The culture of each nation is unique and it finds its manifestation in all spheres of people's lives, speech etiquette is also no exception.

For these and other subtleties of speech etiquette, see below.