I was sitting in a cafe. She hung the bag on the back of the chair. I got ready to leave, wanted to pay, turned around - there was no bag. At first I didn’t understand anything. Then I realized: it was stolen. A bag containing: money, cell phone, apartment key.
They let me out of the cafe with the bill unpaid. They apologized and said that I could, of course, write a statement addressed to management. I had no time for that. I was walking down the street in an unknown direction. My first thought was: call a friend! My hands reached out to open my bag, take out my cell phone, and dropped. There is no mobile phone!
Thought two: ask kind people to call from their mobile phone! Hooray! I began to look for a kind face in the crowd... but - I don’t know the number, not a single mobile number, not even my mother’s!
Thought three: go home soon! On the subway, ask your aunt to let you through without money, take her word for it, get home... but - thought number four - there are no keys!
And then for the first time in my life I felt like a homeless person. A completely helpless person without everything: without a home, without money, without communication. The experience was so strong that I still remember everything to this day.
When I got to my mother (she lives outside the city, I have to go by train), she started: how come it was stolen? How could you hang a bag like that, because you are an adult! How can you be such a crow? I say: Mom, I feel so bad! And she: it’s her own fault!
Psychologist answers Anton Sorin, Associate Professor, Department of Psychology, Moscow State University, Candidate of Psychological Sciences .
- Well, they stole (a bag with a wallet, a mobile phone, an apartment key - let's consider the option of moderate severity), but he himself remained alive and well. Why isn't this comforting? Why do you feel so acutely (whoever it was stolen from knows) personally insulted with all that it entails? After all, these are just things.
“Because theft is always an attack on our self.” From early childhood, long before the child turns one year old, he begins to master objects and objects of the outside world. In psychology there is a term “transitional objects” - these are things with a special psychological “load” and therefore the most important for contact with the outside world.
For a child, this is a favorite toy with which he spends a lot of time: he sleeps with it, “feeds” it, and interacts with the world with its help. With age, other objects take the place of toys, but their essence remains unchanged. The things that we consider to be ours and that are important to us are a way of connecting us, the outside world and social reality.
Therefore, any encroachment on these things causes a very acute, painful reaction. This is an attempt to limit our ability to contact reality, to trust the world (which suddenly turned out to be an unsafe place), to establish relationships with it.
Someone from outside is forcibly invading our sovereign personal space and causing us harm. From this point of view, theft is akin to rape.
In addition, any theft strikes at our sense of control over the reality around us. The robbed person suddenly finds himself in a situation with which he can do nothing. A minute ago he had a mobile phone in his pocket, but now he doesn’t – how can he call his friends and ask for help? The bag was just hanging on the back of the chair, and now it’s gone, and along with it, the documents, wallet, and house keys “floated away” - and we urgently need to adapt to the new situation.
Something irreversible happened, you couldn’t stop it and you can’t return everything “as it was.” And it happened unexpectedly. And a person needs to very quickly solve a lot of serious problems: how to get to the house, how to get into the apartment.
A person feels helpless, and this is a difficult test for the psyche. After all, you can be in a state of peace only by controlling reality within possible limits, and in the case of theft, control is lost, you are forcibly placed in new life circumstances.
Any situation in which a person loses control over what is happening is “read” by the consciousness as threatening and causes a response - anxiety and, accordingly, aggression.
It seems to us that aggression is a way to regain control of the situation. And, strange as it may sound, often this aggression is not directed at the thief, but... at oneself.
After the theft, self-blaming thoughts often swirl in my head: if I had put my wallet in my bag and not in my pocket, it would not have been taken out, if I had not put my mobile phone on the table, it would not have been “stolen.”
Over and over again we relive the situation before the robbery, reproaching ourselves for not laying down straw.
To some extent, such self-blame is embedded in us from childhood - by parents, teachers, society. We were all taught that responsibility for what happens to us, for our mistakes and failures, completely lies on us. From birth, a child hears that if he cannot cope with a situation, then the only reason for this is himself: he is not smart enough, not persistent and persistent enough, and so on.
And this accompanies us all our lives. You were robbed - you’re a fool, you should have kept your eyes open. Your husband beats you - I chose this myself. Raped means she provoked. Whatever happens to you, it is your own fault - this is a well-translated and familiar social norm.
As a result of such upbringing, we are not always able to correctly assess borders what is under our control and what is outside of it, where we are truly responsible and “ourselves to blame,” and where we are responsible and not to blame. It is possible and necessary to fight the accusatory attitudes that have been ingrained in us since childhood. It is necessary to accustom ourselves to the idea that not everything in this world is under our control, and even more so, the actions of others are beyond our control.
Of course, there can be no “one is to blame” when it comes to illegal actions directed against us.
No one can be to blame for being robbed, beaten, or raped. No action on our part gives permission for other people to treat us this way. Otherwise, for example, in the case of rape or beating, the victim would share criminal responsibility with the offender, and this is not the case, even if the victim’s actions are considered “provocation”.
- How to stop thinking about losses? How to calm down, get out of the endless circle of thoughts: so much money! You could spend it on this and that. And the mobile phone, buy a new one again. How to come to your senses and calm down?
— Bad thoughts need to be overcome with good thoughts: try to find at least a drop of positivity in what happened. In general, do not neglect self-comfort during a difficult period for you.
Got your cell phone stolen? This is a reason to buy a new one, more convenient than the previous one. Or your loved ones have solved the problem of what to give you on your birthday. Lost contacts? In our age of social networks, this loss can be at least partially compensated, and at the same time there will be a reason to get acquainted with data storage services.
It is important to remember: theft is our loss of control over the world, and loss of control leads to anxiety and aggression.
Try not to pour out this aggression on your neighbors, they are not to blame for anything.
Don't turn your complaint into endless whining. This will very quickly kill all sympathy for you. Complain, but stick to the role.
Celebrate the good, albeit unobvious, that what happened has brought into your life. If you try, you will definitely notice. Maybe, having learned about the theft, you were offered help by a person from whom you never expected it? Or he simply sympathized so warmly that you were convinced that he treats you well! Or did a friend of many years confirm the reliability of the friendship by lending you the required amount without question? Or maybe you found out how many people generally sympathize with you in such an unpleasant situation? Maybe you felt how loved you were in your family? Or have you realized that in a difficult situation you are able to take a blow?
— How do you know whether to contact the police or not? It’s clear that if the theft is large, contact us, but what if it’s on the scale of a bag? After all, calling the police also requires strength, and the person is already upset.
“You definitely need to respond to theft.” Even if these actions are not aimed at obtaining results. For example, if our property was stolen, then we are faced with a choice: to contact law enforcement agencies or not. On the one hand, a crime has been committed, but on the other (especially if something not very valuable is stolen) it is clear that no one in the police will be particularly zealous and the chance that a stolen mobile phone or wallet will be returned to us is small. Therefore, many people “forgot” and do not contact the authorities, believing that there is no benefit from this.
But from a psychological point of view, there are benefits! Even if we understand that our appeal will be of little use, it is still our way of reacting to the situation, our actions aimed at coping with new circumstances. We are taking control of our lives again. We are doing something to find the criminals, and perhaps to return what was lost. Concrete, logical actions will help us calm down and gain confidence.
But when you were worried and did everything you could, or, for example, did not do anything - contact the police (here everyone uses their own resources), it is important to accept the situation and come to terms with it. It has already happened. It is not in your power to change the past.
Now I will say something that is beyond the scope of psychology: you can try to find a “higher meaning” in what happened.
If you were worried, you were consoled, but you still don’t calm down, maybe things have begun to take up too much of your life? And are they hinting at a reorientation of values from above? This is a topic for thought.
And the criterion of reconciliation in our case will be consent to the loss after the fact.
— If a family member, child, friend, colleague was robbed, how should you react? Often people want to console, but it only makes things worse.
- You can’t blame, scold and laugh at. “Well, why are you such a bungler, I suppose the raven was counting - so they pulled out the wallet.” “It’s your own fault, next time you’ll keep your money in the bank and not at home.” Think about why you are saying this?
Everyone is strong in hindsight, there is no sense in such moral teachings, but the person is already in bad shape, is it possible to finish him off?
After this, you can’t count on a trusting relationship. And in such a situation, I would recommend to the victim himself to interrupt the conversation and simply leave, because the interlocutor is clearly not able to correctly assess the situation.
Most often, those closest to you begin to scold: parents - children, children - elderly parents, spouses - spouses. It is clear that if a member of your family suffered, you yourself suffered (including financially). Your anger is natural. But think: by scolding, you are simply throwing out your anger and freeing yourself from negativity. You feel better. And for your loved one, who has already suffered and is worried himself (no matter how he holds on) - it’s even harder.
If you are kind and want to cheer up a person, then here are a few things you should not do:
— You can't discount what happened.“Nonsense, just a mobile phone was stolen, no big deal.” “Just think, they took out the wallet, they didn’t stab him to death.” The robbed will feel that the well-fed does not understand the hungry, you do not understand what he is going through, and you do not want to understand. As a result, instead of supporting you, you will only force the person to withdraw into himself, because in your eyes he looks stupid and funny - he is worried about such nonsense.
— It is risky to look for positive aspects with him in the fact that the theft happened. Well, unless the person who was robbed asks you about it and you understand that he is able to treat such conversations with a bit of humor. Otherwise, it may be taken as ridicule and devaluation of what happened. A person may get angry: they say, you are not in my shoes, it’s easy for you to make up all sorts of nonsense.
“It is imperative to say that the person who was robbed is not guilty of anything.” It was the thief who committed the crime, not him. If appropriate, you can and should offer help. You can invite him to take some specific actions - for example, go to the police, write a statement. The main thing is for the person to feel that you do not consider what happened to be nonsense and understand his experience.
Just don’t get carried away with the role of a vest, so that the robbed person is not tempted to turn into an ever-whining victim.
Postscript from the editor:
“When you are robbed, you should not grieve, but imagine that you gave alms, and the Lord will return ten times more. - St. Joseph Optinsky
“In one of the lives of the Kiev-Pechersk saints it is said: if someone does not regret the money stolen from him, then this will be imputed to him more than arbitrary alms.” - St. Ambrose Optinsky
Drawings by Dmitry Petrov
Even those who do not usually experience financial difficulties are occasionally struck by the thought that things could be going better. Moreover: with age, worries about this become more and more, and at some point the thought that “there is absolutely no money” begins to ruin life.
And, as a rule, it’s not about the fact that we don’t have a roof over our heads or have nothing to eat. Most of the time, we worry about small problems, such as lack of money for a vacation or a new phone. These experiences cause stress, lead to health problems, and prevent you from soberly assessing the situation and taking reasonable steps.
This problem has two components: psychological (stress from which we cannot get out because we let the situation take its course) and financial (unwillingness or inability to manage a household budget, lack of reasonable savings and the presence of a large number of loans). Let's deal with them separately.
Dissociation: Stress Management
There is nothing wrong with stress in itself: it is a natural adaptive reaction to changing environmental conditions. So we shouldn’t consider it a curse of modern civilization: we have the power to use the energy of stress to achieve our own goals. The dissociation technique will help you do this.
It is especially effective if you are troubled by memories of a mistake you made. The essence of the technique is to imagine how the current situation looks from the outside. For this:
1. Find a place where no one will disturb you for 10-15 minutes.
2. Sit down and take the most comfortable, relaxed position.
3. Revisit the traumatic memory. Imagine the situation as a picture. Try to make it as bright as possible.
4. Find in the space where the stressful situation occurred a point from where it is convenient for you to look at what is happening from the outside. Mentally move to this point. From it you should see everything, including yourself, from the outside.
Regularly working through difficult experiences will help you develop the habit of automatically managing stress.
5. Transform the situation so that it ceases to be traumatic for you. Remember this picture.
6. Recall the original traumatic situation and imagine a new, transformed picture next to it. Start moving your mind's eye from one picture to another. Gradually increase the speed of moving your gaze between two pictures and bring it to the maximum. Spend as much time as necessary on this work.
7. Open your eyes for 3-5 seconds, then close your eyes, relax and remain in this state for 2-3 minutes.
Take a slow, deep breath and open your eyes. Remember the original traumatic situation and feel how your attitude and state towards it has changed. Regularly working through “difficult” experiences will help you develop the habit of automatically managing stress without the participation of consciousness and easily getting rid of negative emotions. As a result, only an emotion-free experience will remain, which brings only benefits.
5 principles for achieving goals
Once you have learned to cope with stress, you can move on to developing a skill that is at the intersection of financial and psychological components - the skill of correctly setting goals.
When talking about our global goals (financial, professional, family), we often indulge in daydreaming and have our heads in the clouds. But only a clearly defined goal can be the first step towards turning your dream into reality. A well-formulated goal:
- helps you focus on achieving what you want;
- serves as a source of inspiration, moral and physical strength;
- allows you to determine what is priority and what is secondary;
- helps you make smart decisions on the way to realizing your dreams.
Five basic principles will help you move from thoughts and words to actions:
1. Life is under control. A clearly, clearly and concisely set goal makes it possible to set the right direction of movement.
2. Finding the meaning of existence. The implementation of clearly formulated plans helps make life interesting and varied.
3. Gaining confidence. Setting a goal gives you the opportunity to gain confidence in yourself and your future. The most effective way to do this is to make plans in writing (it is important to try to avoid the word “not” as much as possible) and record their implementation.
4. Transformation of the “impossible” into the “possible”. A clearly formulated goal allows you to outline steps towards its implementation, which significantly increases the chances of its implementation.
5. Gaining faith in success. To achieve your intended goal, you need to not only believe in the result, but also imagine that it has already been achieved.
Competent financial management
We spend the best years of our lives at work, but for some reason the money we earn through hard work does not always bring pleasure, or even “slips through our fingers.” Here's what you can do to avoid this.
1. Keep records of income and expenses
When you clearly know where the money is going, it gives you confidence in the future. You can maintain a budget either in a notepad or Excel spreadsheet, or in a special application.
2. Learn to save
A number of techniques allow you to make the process of creating a financial airbag a habit:
"10% of income." When you receive any amount, set aside 10% of it. Can't save 10% right away? Start with at least 5%. The main thing is to start.
"Plus 10." Start saving: today 10 rubles, tomorrow – 10 rubles more, and so on. In a month you will accumulate 4,500 rubles, and in a year – 54,600 rubles.
"A cup of coffee". On average, a cup of coffee costs 100 rubles. Set aside this amount every day, as if you were spending it on a cup of coffee. You can save 3,000 rubles in a month, 36,000 rubles in a year.
3. Invest
Having created a minimum safety cushion (monthly expenses x 3), you can start investing. Instruments can be different: bank deposit, bonds, shares, mutual funds, compulsory medical insurance (unallocated metal account), IIS (individual investment account), real estate.
4. Learn to save
Doing this is not as difficult as it seems:
- reconsider the costs of housing and communal services: buy energy-saving light bulbs, install meters, fully load the washing machine;
- get rid of bad habits and impulsive purchases - this will preserve your health and save significant amounts of money;
- do not get into debt and do not take out loans unless absolutely necessary.
And one last thing. Assess your financial situation today: is everything really that bad, or are many of the problems far-fetched? Remember and write down what you have achieved so far. List everything, even seemingly insignificant facts. Be grateful to yourself for everything you have achieved. Feel free to feel successful - this will give you enthusiasm and give you the determination to take action, gain financial freedom and stop worrying about money.
About the authors
– financial consultant, business coach, project expert "Financial Health", consultant-methodologist of the Project of the Ministry of Finance of the Russian Federation.
– psychologist, trainer, polygraph examiner, profiler, specialist in using hidden human capabilities in business and personal life.
Surely many of us have suffered material losses at least once. Someone’s friend borrowed money for a large purchase, and then “forgot” to return it or began to claim that it was your voluntary gift. Someone lost his wallet, which contained his entire salary. And someone lost a well-paid job. Someone's husband became a guarantor for a friend who took out a loan, and then was forced to repay the debt of the bankrupt loser. Someone's business failed. You never know what can happen! But the trouble is that in addition to financial losses, there is also an emotional fallout that falls on the person who has lost money. He is literally unsettled and does not know how to cope with the loss of money.
It is not surprising that people grieve over lost money, jobs, apartments or cars. Here's why: any kind of loss causes a natural reaction - sadness. Try to remember your state when you lost something. Maybe it was a pet, a relationship with a loved one, a stolen car, or your favorite project at work. Have you experienced any of these emotions?
- Sadness
- Feelings of guilt, self-flagellation
- Anxiety
- Feeling lonely
- Yearning
- Social self-isolation
- Nervousness
- Absent-mindedness
- Insomnia or drowsiness
- Appetite disorders
We are accustomed to the idea that we can only experience grief after a loved one dies. We don't tend to acknowledge our feelings as sadness when we lose something other than a loved one. But when it comes to financial losses, it’s not just about money. It wouldn't be so emotionally damaging to us if it was just money that was lost. We suffer other losses along with the sudden drop in assets. Which? Let's talk about losing a really significant amount of money from a worldly perspective and look at some examples of how it can affect your life and your plans.
What can be the impact of a major financial loss?
Retirement plans. You may have been saving money so you won't need it in retirement. Or to buy a house closer to nature. Or go on a long journey. And then somehow you lost that money. Or they lost their job and are now forced to live on the money they wanted to save.
Savings for children's education. Have you thought about the fact that your children will go to study in another city, and you wanted to be prepared to financially support them throughout their years of education. Or you were planning to use a paid form of training.
House or apartment. Perhaps you took out loans, but now you don’t know how to pay them and the accrued interest. Will you have to sell your home to repay the bank?
Social status. You were once a successful, highly paid specialist, and now you are an unemployed housewife who is forced to helplessly watch as her husband, exhausted, alone tries to provide for his family and pay the mortgage.
Life style. Your life may have been very busy before this loss. Good food, holidays at resorts or traveling around the world, buying gifts for friends and family... Much of what seemed self-evident has now become inaccessible.
Life scenario. When you were very young, you came up with a life scenario for yourself. "I will be a doctor". "I want to work with animals." "I will become an actress." As you got older, you expanded your script: “I will get a good education, get a great job, get married and live an interesting, happy life!” Chances are, your scenario didn't include something like "I'm going to lose all my savings at age 50" or "I'm going to trust someone with all my money so they can steal it from me and I'll be working again at age 70." . Or “I’ll buy the house of my dreams, and then I’ll take out loans and be forced to sell it.”
Drastic changes in your life and the collapse of your dreams significantly aggravate the emotions that arise from financial loss. A person experiences real grief; he does not know how to survive the loss. The situation is aggravated by the fact that, despite all the similarity of emotions with those of the loss of a loved one, there are still some differences:
- Perception of the event by others. It's one thing to tell someone that your mother died, but it's a completely different thing to tell someone that you lost money, for example, in a pyramid scheme. They are unlikely to sympathize with you. And in general, we usually do not communicate with friends and acquaintances on issues related to money. So the person is left alone with his grief.
- Refusal to acknowledge grief. Usually those who have lost money think: “I shouldn’t feel as bad as if someone had died.” Yes, fortunately, losing money is not the same as the death of a loved one. But you cannot devalue your feelings, you cannot drive them inside yourself.
- Lack of social ritual for such grief. We have many rituals associated with death: funerals, wakes, mourning, etc. All this helps to survive the death of a loved one and adapt to a world in which the person dear to us no longer exists. But there is absolutely nothing that would help us somehow survive the grief of major financial losses. And in addition to grief, a person is also left with a feeling of complete collapse of his entire life.
How to Survive and Thrive After Suffering Financial Loss
First, let's talk about how to survive financial losses:- Allow yourself to accept the loss
Allow yourself to grieve for what you have lost. You have truly experienced a loss. You need to give vent to your emotions - cry, grieve. If you hide your feelings and pretend that nothing happened, you will only increase stress and overload your nervous system. It won't take long to get sick!
Don't resist. This doesn't mean you should give up. But this means that you must admit, just as you acknowledged your emotions, that you have suffered financial losses and your situation has worsened. Such recognition, as opposed to self-deception (they say, everything will be as before...), will help you think and act constructively to correct the situation.
- Create and use your support system
Speak. Giving vent to your feelings alone with yourself is one thing, but talking about your feelings with friends is completely different. Moreover, you need to talk not so much about the loss itself (what and how much you lost), but about your emotions that this loss evokes in you. This is very important because it is a good way to process your grief and not get stuck in it.
- Change your perspective
Think back to your previous difficulties. When you faced this loss, you might have thought it was the worst thing that could happen to you. Perhaps this is true. But you have probably encountered some difficulties in your life before, because every person faces many trials. Agree that previous difficulties were not resolved on their own; you had to make a lot of effort to overcome them. Let your past victories give you courage and serve as motivation to overcome this obstacle as well.
Don't stay in the past or get ahead of yourself; think about today. This is also not easy. Your thoughts and worries about what will happen to you next are quite understandable. But instead of ruminating about the past or panicking about the future, think about what's happening right now. Keep your thoughts busy with finding a solution to the problem, rather than mourning your future, think about what you can do today. 
And now - about what can be done for future prosperity:
- Learn a lesson Learn from your mistakes. Analyze where you made the wrong move. What caused it? Perhaps the decision made at that moment was dictated by your excessive focus on material values? Perhaps you are too trusting? Or maybe you just lacked some specific knowledge? Draw conclusions and learn a lesson for yourself, and let the experience you gain help you avoid similar mistakes in the future.
- Find the positives The grain of sand that initially so irritates the oyster eventually turns into a pearl. The economic difficulties you are currently experiencing can serve as an impetus for your development. They can open your eyes to new opportunities that are open to you that you had not noticed before.
You can always find positives, even in the most difficult times. After a misfortune happens, at first it seems to us that nothing more terrible could happen. But if you use the tips listed above, you can discover a lot of new things: see new ways to strengthen your well-being, gain new knowledge and skills, do something that you didn’t have the determination to do before. You can find out how strong we are in spirit, and significantly increase your self-esteem. Finally, we can learn how important the support of friends is and how many people truly love us.
- Take action Make a plan, including all possible actions to restore the financial gap that has arisen. Action will help you see your future prospects, and uncertainty will no longer weigh you down.
How do you prefer to perceive your loss - as a defeat or as a new opportunity?
Everyone has lost money at least once: it could be theft, forgetfulness, or an impulsive, expensive purchase. And everyone experienced this loss in their own way. The site learned how to approach this issue correctly and with minimal harm to oneself from psychologists Svetlana Morozova and Anetta Orlova.
Psychologist Svetlana Morozova believes that in the modern world, money often becomes an end in itself, and this deforms life goals and, as a consequence, a person’s quality of life. Because in essence they are just a resource that a person can use to achieve some goals. As soon as a person ceases to perceive money as a resource, the idea of financial well-being becomes self-sufficient for him. And how a person defines the meaning of money for himself determines his attitude towards losing it.
Everything I have
If having money is an end in itself, then the loss of a large amount (regardless of the reasons: theft or irrational spending) will cause powerful experiences comparable in strength to the emotions of losing an important object in life. The person will experience a strong sense of fear, deny what happened, fall into despair, and feel like they are in a hopeless situation. But the essence of the experience is not suffering, but rethinking and understanding the events that happened. Consequently, a person who has experienced a loss becomes able to evaluate his actions or decisions differently. This means that next time he will be more careful.
Renewable resources
There is no need to be nervous: stress can leave a much stronger negative impact than losing a certain amount of money
If money is regarded as a resource, then an objective assessment of the situation will help to survive the loss. First, you need to simply count to ten (this will help you calm down) and sort out the situation, advises Svetlana Morozova.
Firstly, any resource can be replenished: if you managed to earn money before today, then you can continue to earn money in the future. Secondly, the situation must be accepted. If nothing can be changed and returned, all that remains is to move on. Psychologist Anetta Orolova also advises to calm down and understand that there is no need to be nervous: after all, stress can leave a much stronger negative imprint than losing a certain amount of money.
Third, it is in our own power to ensure that this situation does not happen again in the future. Promise yourself that you will be more careful next time that you will think about an expensive purchase for several days (buy an item only if you think for several days that you really need it). Next, you will only need to restrain the communication given to yourself.
Svetlana Morozova
Practicing psychologist with additional specialization “social educator”, certified psychologist-consultant. Graduated from the Institute of Special Pedagogy and Psychology named after. Raoul Wallenberg. Author of a number of publications on various problems of preventive medicine. Practicing for 5 years.
Runs a private practice.
Anetta Orlova
Psychologist, candidate of sociological sciences.
Head of the School of Interpersonal Relations.
Writer, TV and radio presenter, frequent guest on television programs and magazine expert.
A difficult situation
If you find yourself in a crisis situation (for example, you have lost a large amount of money intended for an operation), do not be afraid to ask others for help. It is important not to indulge in grief and remember that such a possibility always exists. In any situation, there will be people ready to help you (friends, relatives, colleagues, and sometimes complete strangers).
A loss
All people have lost something at some point. So if you find yourself in a similar situation, don’t dwell on it, but try to look at it differently, advises Anetta Orlova. For example, there is an opinion that a loss promises a major gain in the future. Let's call this the law of balance of humanity. It’s not for nothing that we say that dishes beat for happiness.
Real stories
Hope:“My friend’s dog got very sick. The dog suffered greatly and required expensive treatment. He was placed in a special nursery, which cost incredible amounts of money at that time.
If I didn’t buy anything with this money, then I didn’t need it!
The family had a hard time getting them, but he did not give up the fight for the life of his pets. A year later, the dog recovered, gained weight and now regularly becomes a father. The family is selling puppies and does not regret that at some point they had to significantly reduce expenses to help the dog recover.”
Faith:“My friend was recently in Edinburgh and bought her husband a very expensive angora sweater. She rushed around the store for a long time with a centimeter: measuring the length of the sleeve, neckline... Then she had to put all the purchases on herself, because the airline had strict restrictions on the weight of luggage. And after all these ordeals, the sweater did not fit - it turned out to be much larger than needed. The friend didn’t get too upset: now she had a reason to visit the city she liked with her husband.”
Marina:“A couple of months ago, 6,000 rubles were stolen from me. Pulled out of a wallet in a large shopping center. Moreover, the thief took money out of the wallet and returned it back to the bag. I was incredibly happy about this circumstance, since I still had my bank card! There were only 300 rubles left on it, but I was able to withdraw them and get home. I wasn’t particularly upset because I’m convinced that it’s pointless to suffer over losing money. After all, you can always earn them again! And if I didn’t buy anything with this money, it means I didn’t need it. But be that as it may, now I watch my bag more closely. And I don’t keep the money all together, but put it in different pockets.”
Sometimes people face financial loss. The reason for this may be sudden dismissal, theft of property or business failures. Of course, it can be a shame to suddenly lose a source of well-being or part with a large sum of money. But find the strength and worldly wisdom to come to terms with the loss and move on.
Losing a large amount of money can cause you to lose your sense of stability and confidence in the future. For example, you had certain plans for your savings, but now they are gone and you don’t know how to get out.
Financial setbacks can cause a lot of stress for someone who has lost money and affect not only your mood but also your health. Agree that due to financial failuresYou shouldn’t risk the most valuable thing you have - your well-being.
Release your emotions
Don't keep negative emotions to yourself. If you feel bad, cry. It's good if you have a good friend or relative to whom you can complain. Talk to a loved one, you will feel better.
IT WOULD BE GREAT IF YOU MANAGE TO ASSEMBLE A SUPPORT GROUP OF TRUE FRIENDS WHO WILL SUPPORT YOU IN DIFFICULT MOMENTS
Calm down
Try to objectively assess the scale of the disaster. Perhaps you are exaggerating, and in fact everything is not so bad. If you cannot influence the events that burst into your everyday life, then you have no choice but to calm down and move on with your life.
THERE IS NO SENSE OF AGAIN AND AGAIN SCROLLING IN YOUR HEAD A SERIES OF SAD EVENTS AND REGRETING FROM MORNING TILL EVENING. PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER
Believe in your own abilities and encourage yourself. Remember difficult situations from which you found a way out. Memories of your successes will give you strength and help you cope with losing money.
Get over your mistakes
Calmly analyze the events that led to financial losses. Your task is to understand what actions, principles or views you need to adjust so that you don’t get such a sad picture in the future.
Once you clearly understand what you did wrong and what you could have done better, you should feel better. Soon the feeling of anxiety will pass.
Optimism will help you cope with difficulties
Of course, this is not easy, but still try to find the positives in the current situation. Believe me, they definitely exist, even if at the moment you cannot see what good the loss of money has brought with it. Perhaps, without financial misfortune, events would have developed according to an even worse scenario, and your guardian angel would have saved you from big losses.
There is no doubt that you can emerge stronger, wiser, smarter, and even richer after experiencing a loss. Often, a sharp deterioration in their financial situation stimulates people to take actions that they would not take in prosperous times. And then these people get back on their feet, find themselves and find true happiness.
Take action
Develop a plan to minimize the damage your financial loss will cause you. Find a way to protect and grow your remaining funds, or find a new source of income. See the situation as an opportunity to improve. Focus on your career or finally decide to start your own business. Maybe the idea of taking a financial risk while losing money doesn't seem very good to you. But sometimes people, having seen how fragile material well-being can be, more easily decide to take daring steps.
