Love or friendship how to distinguish. How to distinguish between friendship and love

Often you cannot understand whether you love a person or you are just good friends. How to distinguish friendship from love? What are the similarities and differences? Let's try to figure this out.

Love and friendship: what do they have in common?

In fact, you wouldn't be asking this question if you didn't feel something unusual or strange in your relationship with your friend. The truth is that there is no long-term friendship between a guy and a girl. Sooner or later, one of you (or even both) will think about how he really feels.

Love and friendship are similar to each other, but, in fact, they are also components of each other. True friends love each other, although they do not show romantic feelings. Their love is based on affection and mutual respect. And lovers can be each other's friends. It's even perfect option when so. We can say that friendship includes two aspects: spiritual and spiritual intimacy (emotions and beliefs), and love includes aspects of friendship and physical attraction.

Not all friends decide to cross the threshold of friendship and become a couple. This decision may depend on one or both of them. But more often than not, a mutual decision does lead to love.

Now let's try to understand the differences ...

What is the difference?

Whether you're testing your feelings or your friend's feelings, there are some obvious signs that you can tell if one of you perceives friendship as more than just friendship.

Reaction to a friend's sympathy for someone(your gender):

If you are friends, you will be pleased with the feelings of your friend and will be glad to meet the object of his sympathy. You will help him in every possible way in the development of these feelings, because you wish him happiness.
If you are in love in your friend, an inner feeling of jealousy will betray you. Mentally, you already imagined yourself next to him, why did he suddenly meet someone better, but did not pay attention to you? Jealousy will manifest itself in the fact that you will not like the choice of your friend.

Behavior in the presence of a friend:

If you are friends, you feel completely free in the presence of a friend, no matter what state or form you are in ( home clothes, not the freshest look, temperature, terrible runny nose, whatever).
When you are in love you are trying to look your best in front of your friend. Are you thinking about your appearance and worry about whether he likes it. You begin to feel embarrassed in his presence, and his compliments now cause unusual feelings in you.

Personal space and freedom:

If you are friends, you feel free to not always spend time together with a friend. And when he is not with you, you are not bothered by thoughts about how he spends his time. You are individuals, everyone chooses how to live, although there are some things that unite you and for which you value each other. A few days without communication with a friend will not knock you out of your senses and prevent you from falling asleep at night.
If you fell in love into your friend, your thoughts are constantly occupied with him. You are interested in how he spends his time, and you want to be part of his time as often as possible.

Emotions:

When you are friends, your friendship is united by a feeling of lightness, fun, spiritual intimacy. You just feel good around and there is no surge of emotions and no drama. Only positive emotions and a sea of laughter, or, conversely, calm, serious conversations about life.
when you fell in love, new emotions are added to this palette, perhaps even quarrels. In fact, this is not a sign of mature love, but just falling in love, which has not yet found its expression, but is trying to hide behind friendship. When you have to hide your crush, you can become overly sensitive and sometimes demanding or even irritable. All you want is for these feelings to be mutual.

Habits and behavior of your friend:

If you are friends, you do not judge a friend for some habits and do not try to change him. Not because you don't care, but because that's the kind of friend you made friends with. You accept him as he is, his choice does not affect your life in any way. Although, of course, in important matters you will advise your friend the best, you will not impose your opinion.
If you are in love, you are very worried about your friend and try to protect him from everything. Perhaps you are trying to correct some of his habits or qualities, because you know that they harm him. Lovers (immature love) often also try to change things in their soul mate that they may not like.

What to do?

If you are convinced that the feelings of each of you are exclusively friendly, you should not start a conversation about it, everything is already in its place!

If you notice that you are in love, think carefully about your feelings and whether it is worth revealing them. You can never be ordinary friends after one of you has fallen in love. In general, even now it is no longer a friendship in its purest form ... Think about whether you are emotionally mature enough to start a real relationship? If so, try talking to a friend about it. But for starters, we advise you to test your feelings well with time, and also monitor the behavior of your friend - is there reciprocity in him?

Be careful not to put all your hopes on love, so as not to be disappointed when you do not receive an answer. Life goes on anyway.

Take care of yourself and listen to your feelings and heart.
Most relationships begin with a good friendship between two people.
True friends, like true love, are hard to find, cherish them.
To become a faithful companion in life, you first need to learn how to be a good and faithful friend.
It is possible that true friendship will eventually develop into true love.

If you have any questions about how to distinguish friendship from love, write in the comments. We will also be glad to hear your stories, situations, advice, comments ...

Friendly and romantic relationships have a lot in common, how to find this fine line between friendship and love?

Friendship between a guy and a girl is a fairly common phenomenon, because people can just like to spend time with each other, they have common interests and hobbies.

Recognizing the difference between friendship and love is a task that interests people at all times. It often happens that friendship develops into love and passion. And true love can always be complemented by friendly notes. It can be concluded that these two areas are inextricably linked.

It can be confusing to think about how a partner feels about the other person. What are the ways to determine that a really bright feeling called love has arisen between friends?

What is the difference between friendship and love?

Friendship is the case when you do not allow companionship to fade away. Communication and communication in this case must be maintained.

If this is love, then you strive not to part for a second. You need constant communication with your partner. For example, it is possible that the partner was offered a very advantageous offer regarding work. In this case, he will either refuse the position, or take the soulmate with him;

True friendship is manifested in the fact that when someone talks or flirts with your other, you experience happiness and joy for him.

If you flirt with a potential fan of yours, you begin to feel jealous;

Friendship is remarkable because you feel like you have found a soul mate with similar interests. A person similar to you. Love is a part of you that should complement harmoniously. Without which you would be less than half.

In view of the fact that love and friendship are very similar to each other, it is necessary to constantly control yourself, listen to your feelings and heart.

A greater number of romantic relationships arise as a result of large and strong friendships.

The one you have chosen as a loved one should be, first of all, your friend, constantly support you. There are different cases, for example, a game with one goal - when one person is head over heels in love with that person who reciprocates not to that extent, half. It seems that there is sympathy, but that love fire in the eyes is not present. Try to clearly understand your feelings and the feelings of your partner together.

How to distinguish friendship from love?

Sometimes you can love your friends so much that it's even hard to put into words. At the same time, we love our relatives, but we do not always want to be friends with them. There are friends who are closer to us than sisters and brothers. This intimacy persists between friends regardless of time or distance that may separate them. Such friendship stands the test of time, like the love one feels for one's family. A true friend is able to understand any movement of your soul, sometimes even better than some relatives can. A loving person not only understands you, but is also able to forgive your mistakes. Even those that sometimes even friends do not forgive. But! - for loving people love alone is not enough. Necessary condition love is always friendship. If this is not there, then love becomes just a need of the flesh - it is not even love, it is only passion. Passion is also part of love; but passion can fade over time, and if the feelings of lovers are not shaded with friendly notes, then love leaves. Passion itself cannot be unambiguously mistaken for love. The more passion, the harder it is to see if there really is love. Sometimes passion makes a person blind, and he ceases to see the obvious truth, easily succumbing to deception. Whereas friends can see lies just by looking into each other's eyes.

Our friends often become a mirror reflecting our reality; and love is like a crystal ball that reflects all our dreams of the future. But sometimes a friend can grow your dream; it will bring out the best in you and show you how great your possibilities are. Real friends always have a lot in common with you, fitting into your life and complementing it. The true friendship of both makes it better than they would be if there was no such friendship.

Are you still wondering how to tell if you love someone or are you just really good friends? Indeed, there is much in common between love and friendship; but there are also differences. If you want to finally understand how to distinguish friendship from love, then try step by step to consider all the similarities and differences between friendship and love. And then listen to yourself and analyze your feelings.

Similarities Between Love and Friendship

Friendship is when you have something in common with another person. You are comfortable together. You can talk about any topic, and tell a friend secrets that you would not tell anyone else.
The same can be said about a loved one.
True friendship is when, even after a quarrel, you still remain friends. Offended by a friend, you still understand that you cannot erase him from your life.
The same happens in love. Even when you quarrel and scatter in different corners, very soon you will begin to think about how to make peace as soon as possible. You will miss and yearn for your loved one. Without it, your life is meaningless.
Love is when you can come to your partner with some problem, and he will listen to you and give you some advice. He will never remain indifferent to your difficulties.
So is a friend - he will never say that he does not have time now to listen to you. And he will not say that he is not interested in your nonsense. A friend will always try to help.
Friendship is when someone taunts or even attacks you and the friend comes to your defense. And he will definitely try to comfort you.
It is not even worth saying that the beloved will do the same.
True love is when you are loved and accepted for who you are. Forgiving even shortcomings.
A friend also does not require you to change. He understands that it is these inner qualities of yours that make you what you are.

Differences between love and friendship

Friendship is when you part (for example, one of you leaves), but at the same time you know that the connection and communication between you will not be interrupted. You will not let your friendship fade away.
When you love, you try not to leave. You need to be there every second, you need constant communication. And even if your partner, for example, receives an offer of a profitable job far from your city, he will either refuse it or take you with him.
True friendship is when someone flirts with your friend, and you feel happy and happy for him.
If they flirt with the one you love, you are jealous, even if you understand that your boyfriend loves only you.
Friendship is when you feel that you have met, as it were, a brother who is like you.
Love is when you realize that you have found a part of yourself, without which you would be half as small.

Since love and friendship are indeed very similar to each other, you need to watch yourself, listening to your feelings and to your heart;

It is possible that true friendship will eventually turn into true love. Most romantic relationships begin between two people who were previously great friends. The main thing is that they knew how to distinguish friendship from love;

The one who has become your favorite must also be your friend, only now on a different level;

Remember that a true friend and true love is really hard to find.

… and warn

You will experience bitter feelings if you love a person who sees only a friend in you;

More more grief you will experience if such a person you make your lover. And you will not find love, and you will lose friendship.

Both true friendship and true love are a great gift for every person. They make us feel needed by another person, and we experience happiness only from the fact that we can do everything possible for the happiness of a friend or loved one.

Friendship between a girl and a guy is quite common. The reasons for this may be different - someone just likes to communicate with each other, someone is united by common interests. Together friends go to the cinema, to art exhibitions and to clubs. They like to communicate with other companies and problems in friendly relations, in principle, never appear.

However, it happens that either a girl or a guy begins to understand that their relationship is more than friendship and begins to doubt their feelings, worrying that now they will not be able to be friends like before. Often this requires some kind of catalyst. For example, a friend has a girlfriend and now they spend a lot of time together, and he meets with his girlfriend less and less. She becomes jealous and soon realizes that a friend is much closer to her and it seems that these are already completely different feelings, not friendly. Feelings can also be affected by separation. Having met in a couple of months, the friends understand how they missed each other and realize that the relationship has gone beyond friendship. How to understand that love has really appeared between friends, and they can no longer just be friends?

Analyze the feelings you have for a friend.

1. Understand yourself and your feelings for young man with whom you are friends. If you notice at least one of the following signs in yourself, then you are in love with your friend.

2. You are jealous of your friend for his girlfriend. You are annoyed that they spend a lot of time together, and therefore you are trying in every possible way to interfere with their solitude. You ask for dates with them, arrange random meetings and all in order to demonstrate to your beloved friend that he is not her property and that you also claim his attention.

3. If there is some tension in your relationship with your friend's lover, it is likely that she sees you as a rival, just like you see her. You can never find mutual language which your friend doesn't like very much. If a friend often refuses to meet with you, as he walks with his girlfriend, it means that she is jealous of you, otherwise she would not be against rare threesome walks.

4. If you are in love, you are constantly trying to find some flaws in your friend's girlfriend. You make fun of her, calling her pompous or stupid, and keep repeating that she is absolutely not suitable for the young man with whom you are friends.

There is never any awkwardness between friends. They can sit and discuss events, eat chips and laugh if someone has crumbs on their lips. It is not a problem for friends to talk about the case when they embarrassed themselves in public, as they do not feel any embarrassment. If you're in love with a friend, you can't behave like that. You will try to always look good and positive, sensitive to any criticism. It will be extremely important for you what a friend thinks about you, how you looked with him, so with him you simply cannot behave frivolously. Often in a conversation, you will even stutter if you are embarrassed, as you will realize that you really like a friend.

Friends may not see each other for a couple of days or weeks, and this is absolutely normal for them, since they do not feel the need to see each other daily. However, if you love your friend, you really need to know where he is now and how he is spending his time. You want to call him or meet him by chance. All your thoughts are occupied by a guy, you are worried that another girl will not take your place. Parting with a friend, you catch yourself thinking that you really want to meet tomorrow, or at least call.

A friend is a person with whom you can relax and talk nonsense, knowing that he will try to understand everything. Between friends, scandals and conflicts rarely arise. If in Lately your feelings for a friend become stronger, emotions just go wild, scandals simply cannot but happen between you. You will not be indifferent to the fact that he forgot to call you yesterday, forgot about the meeting, or that he joked unsuccessfully about you. In general, there will be many reasons to be offended. From resentment, you can even burst into tears in front of a friend, but he simply cannot understand why your relationship has become so tense and difficult.

When falling in love, a girl is sensitive to what her friend says and does. Therefore, if you are in love, you cannot be indifferent to the fact that your friend drinks in large quantities or walks with young people of obviously dubious reputation. You will try to change it for the better, you will criticize and interfere with doing what seems wrong to you. A cigarette smoked by a friend on your part will be accompanied by a long tirade about how smoking is harmful and that he needs to take care of his health. The fact is that people in love try to take care of each other, so they try to be aware of all their plans and always warn against possible risks. If you treat your friend in a friendly way, you will not be bothered that he was seized by the desire to take part in car racing. Only a girl in love will try to interfere and reason with him.

Analyze what you are doing together

To understand what kind of relationship you have with a friend, you can also analyze how you spend time with him, where you go and how often.

If you are in love with your friend, you try to spend time as often as possible. You don't even want to think about starting to date someone, since you already feel good with your friend. On Friday and Saturday evenings, you always meet with him, and even if you are in the company, you practically do not part. If it's just friendship between you, you can meet several times a month, and that will be enough for you.

When you are going to meet a friend, you try to look very good, pick up makeup and appropriate clothes, because you simply cannot afford to look bad. Spend hours in front of the mirror, and not because you think you're going to meet some guy you might be able to get into a relationship with. If you come to a meeting with a friend in a sports uniform and with an unwashed head for you, it means that you want to make an extremely positive impression on your friend, and most likely this is another sign that you are in love.

If a friend said that you just look amazing and this drove you into the paint, then you are not at all indifferent to how he treats you. You hope that he has romantic intentions, since you yourself have thought about it more than once.

If you treat your friend in a friendly way, then it is perfectly normal for you to take a walk with him and his lover. You react normally if a friend kisses a girl and courts her in front of you. If such a pastime annoys you, like your friend's girlfriend, then you are in love. Your suspicions should increase if your friend's beloved is wary of you. This means that she sees you as a rival and naturally no friendly relations between you can appear.

If you're just friends, it won't occur to anyone around you to tell you that you're acting like a couple. Everyone sees that there is only friendship between you and there are no ridicule or hints from your company towards you and your friend. If you are in love with your friend, there are a couple of people who will express their guesses about this.

Note from the outside the situation is always seen more objectively, and if someone told you that in the presence of your friend your eyes are burning and you are embarrassed, then it is quite possible that you have a feeling of love. If you think this is stupid, and you just walk away from such conversations, you may really be friendly with the guy. But if these words made you blush and think that your friend is really very close to you and your friendship has become very important to you, you may really have romantic feelings.

Friends can go to another city for a while and forget, tell their friend about it. They will not worry that something happened to a friend and will be convinced that everything is fine with him. However, if you are in love, you will try to tell the guy your plans, and you will be interested in what he plans to do and when you can meet. Communication with a friend is very important for you and you painfully endure parting with him, which means you are either very attached to him or in love.

In the case when your friend invites you for a walk, your heart is beating wildly, and you are randomly thinking about what to wear, it means that you are not indifferent to how you look in front of your friend. The phone rings and you happily run up to it, hoping it's a guy you're friends with? It's not like a simple friendship, your feelings are definitely deeper.

Talk to your friend

If you understand that you have fallen in love, you should not drown out your feelings and pretend that nothing happened. Love is a wonderful feeling, and if there is at least one chance in a hundred that your friend is also partial to you, you should definitely talk to him. Watch your friend, how often he smiles at you, how he cares for you, and you will understand the depth of his feelings for you.

Confessing your love to your friend, you have many advantages, because you know him very well and therefore you can build a conversation in such a way that neither he nor you feel embarrassed.

For such a conversation, you should plan everything so that no one can interfere with you. The most peaceful environment is still at home, so make a coffee for a friend, treat him to his favorite cookies and share with him the reasoning that your relationship has changed lately and you would like to know how he looks at trying to start a love relationship. Saying this, you risk absolutely nothing, because your friend already loves you and cherishes you, which means he will never allow you to be ridiculed or offended.

If the guy doesn’t mind and wants to start a new stage in your relationship, that’s great, because you have smoothly moved from the “friends” category to the “lovers” category. As a friend to your boyfriend, you can trust and know that you can always rely on him.

From a friend you can hear another answer. However, in this case, you do not lose anything, since friendship between you is already impossible. You are not going to silently look at him when he kisses other girls, and you certainly will not discuss his problems with him love relationship. Therefore, if you heard “No”, it’s better to let your friend go, you don’t need to ask him to think, he will do it anyway, because you gave him a lot of food for thought. Perhaps, realizing how much he misses you, he himself will understand that he is in love and after a while you will talk about your feelings again, but on his initiative.

In no case should you use your friendship and your mutual friends to achieve your goals. This can hopelessly ruin everything, if a guy wants a relationship with a girl, he will definitely let her know about it, especially if she herself previously told him about her feelings. In any case, perceive the reaction of a friend to your confession adequately and without unnecessary emotions. A girl should always keep herself proud and not lose her temper, only then the guy will respect her.

If your friend has a girlfriend, things are much more complicated. But in this case, talking with a friend is better than constantly suffering from jealousy and gradually spoiling your relationship with a friend. However, this does not apply when you know that your friend is in love with his girlfriend and they have serious relationship. No matter how painful it is, in such cases you have to step aside. You can gradually reduce your communication with a friend, and if he directly asks why you do not want to communicate with him, you can tell him the truth, and he will understand everything.

If you know that the relationship between your friend and his girlfriend is far from ideal, you have a chance to positively solve your problem. Perhaps if you confess your feelings, you will not only save your friend from a useless relationship, but also make him happy. Most importantly, when building your new relationship with a friend, be careful and patient. Just because you used to be friends doesn't mean you have to rush, be yourself and open your heart to a new lover.

Pages of love

No matter how strong female intuition is, it sometimes fails. For example, four years ago I found myself in a very unusual situation for me.

While studying at the university, we became quite close friends with Mitya. Our classmates (mostly girls) tormented us with questions about personal relationships, and we could not think of anything like that. After graduation, they somehow parted a little, but still sometimes met, walked together.

And so, imagine my surprise when, in the seventh year of our friendship, I begin to notice some actions on the part of Mitka that make me think that it seems that friendship has come to an end, and a new round of our relationship is approaching - romantic.

Mitya did not immediately put all the cards on the table, and therefore for some time I had to guess: we are still friends or something more.

To find out for myself what was what, I mentally compared the old friendship and the new courtship and determined in what relationships and what people do, and what features these two hypostases of sympathy have.

So friends:

- they chat about everything in the world, do not hesitate to tell each other about their personal lives, bed adventures and new passions, often consult each other on these issues

They meet with joy, but then they easily part in order to be in time for some more important matters including go on a date

They get drunk, but even if they get drunk, they don’t think about each other as possible intimate partners

Can sleep perfectly comfortably in the same bed in underwear and under a single blanket

They can forget about each other's birthday and will not be offended at all if the congratulations are late

They spend quite a lot of time together, but the same long time may not see each other

They tell the truth about each other in the eyes, easily declaring that “the music you listen to is disgusting” or “there are only fools in your KVN team”, and they don’t even think to be offended

Compliments, on the contrary, rarely fly out of friendly lips.

Pay in a cafe either in half, or with an agreement that "next time you"

Discussing members of the opposite sex while walking

Everyone gets home on their own

They constantly tease each other

But it’s worth thinking about courtship when you find the following:

They don’t want to part with you for a minute: after a walk there is an offer to go to the cinema, then to sushi, then to an amusement park, etc.

At a meeting with you, an imaginary friend begins to appear “at the parade”, unsubscribes compliments also in your direction

Suddenly, they begin to give you a hand when you exit the transport, pull up a chair in a cafe

You are no longer allowed to contribute your share of the bill

You are beginning to be invited to unusual and interesting places, and now you go there not in a crowd, but only together

They begin to insistently ask you to visit

Now you don’t have to ask for help - they offer it on their own in order to have an additional excuse for a meeting

Your "disgusting music" suddenly becomes nothing at all, you can go to a concert

Stories about personal life become uninteresting, moreover, a noticeable negative in relation to the subject of conversation appears in the eyes of the listener.

The “buddy” also doesn’t tell you anything more about his personal life.

Flowers may not be given to you, but signs of attention still begin to appear: chocolate in huge quantities, soft bears, as if randomly won for you in a dash

You are escorted home, even if you live in different parts of the metropolis

All women passing by are now called bow-legged and lanky.

The list can go on and on, but I think the above is enough to determine the true intentions of a male representative. At least I figured it out with my friend, I have been married to him for the third year.

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