Each of us has friends who come from childhood. They are like a comfortable homemade blanket - always at hand, and very warm. We know that they are nearby, we have perfectly studied their shortcomings and advantages. We love these people as much as we can love our relatives, and even ourselves.
Which is not given to everyone in this world. Whoever you communicate with, and you are not friends in life, only old friends are able to deeply understand and feel you and your experiences. If you managed to get a couple of friends in your childhood who are still with you, you are lucky!
However, some people do not stop there, and make good friends even further. They have their own reasons for doing so.
Three reasons to make friends
Why do people expand their social circle? Three reasons can be listed:
Old friends are good. You have common interests, hobbies and memories. But many people love variety. Therefore, new people with their ideas, outlook on life, spiritual aspirations and opportunities are something new, unknown. For those who are interested in learning about the world, who strive for self-improvement, it would be useful to study this world through new acquaintances. For example, a friend's small homeland is a lost village high in the mountains.
This additional opportunity awaken new talents in you or “stir up” those that have been dormant for a long time. If your new friend is an artist or a writer, why not try yourself in this role? In turn, you will teach your new friend how to ski.
is a blank slate on which you write the story of your friendship. In addition, these are new people, a new social circle, where you will also find new acquaintances.
However, communication with a new person begins with addiction. The adaptation period is associated with a certain discomfort. However, having survived it, you can get good "bonuses" in the future.
Eight options for finding friends
But friends and acquaintances do not fall from the sky. Therefore, you need to know where to look for new ones, while not losing the old ones.
Why do you need a new friend?
First of all, you must find the answer to this question. What exactly do you expect from a person, and what goals are you pursuing. Do you need a friend at work who can help you get through the difficulties and with whom you can discuss problems in the office? Or you want to find a companion for your passion for tandem riding. Maybe you just need new communication and emotions. Decide on this question, otherwise your efforts will be in vain.
Clubs and organizations of interest.
Look for friends in places where your interests converge. Exhibitions, fitness clubs, skating rinks, museums, clubs and circles. Lots of options. The main thing is to find what is exciting for you to find people with similar interests. For the most indecisive, you can be advised to look for friends of interest in social networks, forums and blogs. Look for topics that interest you, read the discussions carefully, and keep the conversation going.
The art of communication.
There are people who are born with the gift of communication. They are easy to find mutual language even with strangers. But most of us are not endowed with this skill. They cannot “squeeze” words out of themselves in the presence of strangers. Therefore, learn to charm others. There are several principles of communication that will not cause a negative reaction from the interlocutor. You should:
Be neatly dressed;
Smell good (especially bad breath)
Do not tell deliberate lies, gossip and nonsense;
Listen carefully, without interrupting the interlocutor.
And remember the saying that silence is like gold!
Initiative.
If you see a person in front of you that you are interested in, insist on continuing your communication. If you understand that he is the one who will give you more knowledge in the area that is important to you, do not miss the opportunity to get it. If you are interested in a person as a partner for going to the gym, cinema, swimming pool or cafe, take the first step yourself - invite! Maybe today he will refuse, but he will definitely consider your offer and find free time.
The popular expression that you first need to choose your neighbors, and then an apartment, is not always true. How often do you communicate with those people who live near you? In most cases, you have not exchanged two words with them over the years of your life in the same entrance. This is unfortunate, because it is the neighbor who can become your companion and friend. After all, if you find common interests with friends, it may turn out that this friendship will last a lifetime. And what could be better than seeing a bosom friend every day? It will be easier for you to communicate, you do not need to explain to the household where and for how long you are going, a friend will always be there, and common interests.
On the Internet, you can quickly find friends by interests. It is easier for a person to communicate with a virtual interlocutor than to talk in reality. It's bad, but that's the way it is modern world with communication between people.
So, you have found a group on social networks or on forums where you communicate with those who are interested in what you are curious about. If you have been discussing different topics, then you should allocate for yourself two or three people whose answers you are waiting with particular impatience. If you haven't found it yet, you will definitely find it. Write a letter to these people in personal contacts. Don't push or make it difficult, let them know that you're interested in talking to them. As a rule, the majority agree to continue talking on topics of interest to both sides in PM. After a while, try to translate virtual communication into the real. If everything works out, then you will find common interests and a friend. However, remember that the first meetings are preferably held in crowded places. This will help you overcome embarrassment.
Old friends.
Have you ever thought about the fact that it is better to have one old reliable friend than to experience happiness and patience with a dozen new ones who are not always the ones you want to see in front of you? If you have hobbies and interests, why not dedicate a childhood friend to them? Are you crazy about spearfishing? And a friend cannot even imagine that such a hunting option exists. Enlighten the man! Give him the opportunity to experience something new.
What common interests can be with friends
To begin with, it must be said that you must choose from two options:
By interest;
Look for interests, and with them friends.
There is a third - rare. It lies in the fact that both interests and friends find you themselves. But today is not about that. Let's talk about how to make friends if you are passionate about a certain idea and have knowledge in a particular issue.
The easiest way to find friends with interests is to visit that circle, club, section where people are passionate about the same thing as you. These include:
Clubs of bikers, fishermen, hunters;
Sport sections;
Embroidery mugs, beadwork, etc.
The list is endless. It is not difficult to find information on the Internet, which describes in detail the availability of such establishments in your city. They are paid, free, elite and at home. The choice is yours, go for it!
Here you will find those people who will be glad to see you, because you share their passion. Or maybe they will be delighted that you showed up and taught them something new.
Narrow interests.
Professional area.
If your main hobby is your own work, and the goal in life is to achieve career heights, then it is advisable for you to make friends according to hobbies that directly relate to your professional activity. Ask for guidance or look for continuing education courses and other courses of interest yourself. It will be interesting for you to learn something new that has come into your field of activity, and together with other students to improve professionalism. In an environment where people find common ground, communication of interests is developing rapidly. You will not even notice how you are already sitting with a group of experts in your field like you, and discussing issues both in the professional sphere and related to personal life.
Dating websites.
The vast majority of these sites help people find a soul mate, or a partner for sexual relations. There is no such site where one could find a friend of interest. Although, if you take these pages as a basis, and make some efforts to search, you can find a friend. It is based on the fact that the person sitting on the other side of the screen did not just turn to this site for help. He needs communication just like you. Presumably you will find in him a friend of interest. Although, if you look at the problem openly, you should not rely on it and waste precious time.
In conclusion, I would like to note important points. Having received a long-awaited friendship, having found a person who is interesting to you not only as a companion in hobbies, we forget how difficult it was to establish contact, earn the trust and respect of this person. We call at three in the morning to report our "drunken misfortune", we come at five in the morning to drink coffee, etc. Relationships between people are built on courtesy and respect for each other. Do not discuss the problems, sorrows or joyful events of a friend in the presence of strangers, do not give out his secrets. More terrible than deceit in friendship is only deceit. By lying once, you will betray the person who believes you.
Has there been a quarrel? Do not find out which of you is right and which is wrong. Go to reconciliation first. It is very easy to destroy what has been created for so long and has been pieced together bit by bit. And to become a creator and a strong foundation for a long and reliable relationship is hard work. Do not waste time, do not think about how to do the right thing. Only immediately!
And one more nuance. Now that you have a new friend with interests, introduce him to people from your social circle. Thus, you will give the opportunity to form new friendships. Friends communicating will find common interests and hobbies. Perhaps one of them will find in the person of your friend a soul mate or a friend for life. The threads of understanding that connected you with your friends will intertwine with the thin threads of new relationships that are just emerging in the souls of people you love.
Searching for a friend by interests is akin to searching. Two people whose hobbies and points of view are opposite cannot become friends. Therefore, having found a friend of interest, you guarantee yourself a faithful companion, partner and companion for many years to come.
March 14, 2014, 12:28If the mountain does not go to Mohammed, then Mohammed goes to the mountain. No one will come up to you and offer friendship. Look for friends yourself and do not rely on a lucky break. True friends are not so easy to find, but if you wish, this is not such a difficult task. You can find a suitable company for yourself in a couple of months or six months and make friends.
1. Connect with new people
You can't make friends while sitting at home. Go to a party, sporting event, concert, play football in the yard. You can find friends according to your interests. Who are into photography, biking, wrestling or rapping. Go somewhere together with a friend where you can meet new people. Go to more places and expand your social circle as much as possible.
2. Be proactive in finding friends
Be the first to introduce yourself, exchange contacts and build connections. Don't wait to be invited by your friends. Write and call for a walk yourself. Show initiative. If a person refuses once, this does not mean that he does not want to communicate. You can try a few more times and invite them to take a walk together. Don't lose hope and try to be more communicative.
3. Don't pick on your friends
A true friend cannot be recognized immediately. The strangest and unusual people then render good friends. Don't be critical or overly demanding. Even if you have nothing in common, it's best to give the person a chance. Be patient and try to understand the person. Behind his mask may be a great friend.
4. Show yourself
Start a conversation, ask leading questions, be interested in a person’s hobbies and work. Be sociable, cheerful, laid-back, positive and good-natured. Try to be the kind of person that others would like to be friends with.
Friends will make your life much more fun. You will have a great time together and meet pretty girls.
Take the initiative in your own hands. When it's time to find a true friend, you can't afford to be lazy. A true friend won't miraculously show up at your doorstep, so it takes a little effort on your part. Take the search for a true friend into your own hands and start connecting with people.
- Stop waiting for others to do all the work for you. Gather them and ask if you can go to the event with them, or organize it yourself.
- Don't be afraid to appear hopeless and needy. Focus on yourself and your goal. If, in the end, this method works, who will remember your problems?
Meet new people. You can’t make friends by constantly sitting at home alone in the evenings. You need to be constantly active, so force yourself to go out and at home and meet as many people as possible. At first, you will be a little uncomfortable, but your efforts will not be in vain.
- One of the easiest ways is to find a new friend with the help of an existing one. Go to a party or social event. Let your friend give you advice.
- You can meet people based on your studies or interests. As a rule, friends have common interests, so those people with whom you met at school or a circle are potential applicants for your friend's place.
- Meet people at work. Perhaps you have a work colleague with whom you are familiar, but you have never had fun together. It's time to do it.
- Meet people online. There are certain prejudices associated with online dating, but it's actually a great way to get to know each other. Blogs, social media, and forum comments are great methods of socialization.
Do not take everything that happens to heart. When you first meet, people may seem very callous to you. It may seem that they are not interested and do not want to make an effort on themselves. It seems to you that you got along, but nothing is heard from your new acquaintance. Finding a true friend takes a lot of time.
Don't be too demanding. Communicate sincerely with your new acquaintance when you meet. If you're trying to befriend someone, being picky isn't the best strategy. Your first priority is to get to know as many people as possible, so be sincere with your people.
- Even if you meet a person with whom you think you can have nothing in common, talk to him and give him a chance.
- You will never be able to recognize a true friend at first sight. First you need to get to know the person, so take every chance!
Be persistent. If at the first appearance of your hopes did not materialize, do not despair! People need to be given a little time to get inspired, so the second and third meeting with the same person usually goes much better than the first.
- If you invite someone to a meeting, don't be discouraged if the person can't come. If he politely declined, it's not because he doesn't like you. There are still chances. Wait a week or two and then ask to meet again.
- In the case of some people, this number does not work, and this is normal. Imagine that you are thus preparing for a meeting with a real friend.
Be patient. It takes time to get to know a person, especially if you are looking for a soul mate. If you keep going out of the house and meeting different people, eventually you will find a person with whom you will truly connect.
- Be realistic. This is especially true for the amount of time that will have to be spent on getting to know a person. Of course, you can put aside all doubts when you get the feeling that you have known a person for about ten years, and you talked with him for only ten minutes. This process usually takes longer. Much depends on how often you attend various events.
- In certain situations, you can quickly make new friends. For example, you went to college, moved to a new city, or became a member of a sports team.
In this article we will tell you how to find friends in life, social networks and computer games. And also give advice from a professional psychologist.
There is no plan that is guaranteed to make a friend for life. There are only certain recommendations, having learned which, the chances of success will increase markedly:
- Don't make your desire to find friends an obsession. Better focus on your hobby and friends will appear by themselves.
- Do not strive to be friends only with popular and, as there is a high probability of being rejected.
- Develop . First of all - the ability to listen, resolve conflicts, see your own and others' boundaries, the ability to empathize, as well.
- Pay attention to people with similar interests, values and views.
- Be natural when interacting with friends. Attempts to please, adapt to them and impersonate another person will lead to aggression and ridicule. It is better to have one person appear who will appreciate your true nature than ten who prefer to communicate with a fictional person. Maximum comfort and minimum negativity - this is the law of harmonious friendship.
- Don't judge new people by hearsay. They can be spread by envious people.
- Keep in touch with friends so that they do not forget about you and are not offended by your long absence.
What psychologists say about friendship
Friendship is a dynamic phenomenon. By virtue of life circumstances people can disperse, change values and habits. True friendship is a powerful resource that helps both parties grow and develop. If for some reason she began to bring suffering, it is better to stop communicating.
It is not enough just to find friends and comrades of interest. It is important to constantly find new points of contact with them. When one develops and the other stands still, a split occurs. If a friend decides to leave the relationship, you should accept his choice with respect.
The probability of finding new friends is high if a person rotates within a community:
- classmates;
- colleagues;
- visitors to seminars and interest groups;
- neighbors.
The main thing in friendship is a common cause. When choosing friends, be sure to rely on common interests and values. You can check whether there is spiritual intimacy during the conversation. A person is perfectly revealed in conversations on the topic:
- politicians;
- sports;
- travel;
- healthy lifestyle;
- hobbies (music, theater);
- moral and spiritual interests;
- religion;
- charity.
People who have a positive outlook on life should be considered as comrades. Pessimists and cynics are not inclined to create deep friendships.
Also, communication skills play an important role in establishing productive contact.
- Be interested in other people and openly answer counter questions.
- Express your opinion honestly. This will help the partner to identify common ground.
- Try to speak to the point. Don't say more than the other person is interested in. An overabundance of information about one's own person can play a cruel joke.
- Speak on positive topics that do not affect moral and religious feelings. For the first conversation, it is appropriate to discuss interests, hobbies, travel.
- Express approval if something from what was said resonated in the soul. It is quite appropriate to compliment a person about his level of education, breadth of outlook or awareness in any issue. The main thing is to know the measure, so as not to create the impression of an insincere person.
Where to find friends
In large cities, parties are organized for the purpose of dating for people of different age categories.
Thematic meetings, interest groups, courses, studios, performances - all this allows you to meet a large number of new faces. Perhaps friendly communication will not start, but a company will appear to visit interesting places.
Apartment dwellers are very popular for finding friends. These are mini-parties where complete strangers meet, listen to music and chat. In one evening, you can make 20-30 new acquaintances.
The fastest and most effective way to friendship and friendship is hobbies. allow you to upgrade your skills, get a lot of positive emotions from communication, bring to life long-forgotten desires.
There are sites where you can register and chat with people from anywhere in the world. Their main but only purpose is language practice.
Communication with foreigners is a great way to make friends.
Popular Communication Resources:
There are entire social networks for language practice and finding new friends. Lang-8.com is the largest of them. It unites users from 190 countries. One person writes the text in a foreign language, the other (vis-a-vis) checks the grammar, corrects mistakes and makes recommendations. Social media of this type allow you to improve your language skills and make new contacts.
The problem of finding a company is relevant not only for young people. Retirees also suffer from loneliness. Elderly people can also make new acquaintances through the Strana Retirement social network or groups for communication of older people on Vkontakte.
Another way to find friends for pensioners is club centers. In them, people attend hobby groups, gather for tea parties and spend their leisure time together.
Conclusion
Real warm relations are possible only live. Friends help share sadness and failure. It is important to understand that friendship requires an investment of mental strength and time.
Virtual dating is superficial and easy. They do not impose any obligations. Friends from social networks
can, at the slightest difficulty, dissolve in the network space.
We hope that now it has become clear to you how to find friends. It doesn't matter where - in social networks, games or real life.
In order not to miss new useful articles, subscribe to our Telegram channel or bookmark the site.
See you! We wish you good luck and great acquaintances!
If you feel lonely and would like to make new friends, know that you are not the only one who wants this.
Many people hope to make new friends just like you, they just don't know where to start.
Here is a list of 29 different, super easy ways to make new friends.
We hope you can pick up some new ideas and never feel lonely again.
1. Volunteer somewhere. Volunteering will allow you to join a new community of people and connect with other people who have similar interests.
2. Take any courses (art, cooking, foreign language and etc.)- Again, you will have the opportunity to meet and interact with new people with similar interests.
4. Rekindle an old friendship- if you think carefully, then there are probably many people whom you know and who were good friends to you before, with whom you would not mind reconnecting.
5. Join a sports team- being on a sports team gives you automatic access to a whole new community of people, plus it's a great way to have fun with others.
6. Go to church- many modern churches are full of young and old people. Many of them are very friendly. There are many different social events and people are united by a great sense of community.
7. Walk the dog– whether you believe it or not, you can meet a lot of people walking your dog!
8. Invite your neighbor to a barbecue- and even better than many neighbors! Why not take advantage of the fact that you have neighbors and communicate with them.
9. Take a work colleague out for a drink or a movie- yours workplace is a great place to make new friends. Since you've already met your work colleagues, it's probably easier to strike up a conversation and connect with them than trying to befriend a complete stranger.
10. Take the initiative to hang out with someone you would like to see more often. Is there anyone who catches your eye from time to time? Or maybe you only see them in a group of people? Take courage and ask if they would like to go somewhere one on one with you.
11. Do your best to attend events and hangouts– You may be afraid to meet new people or you just can’t tune in to it. But remember that the more you surround yourself with new people, the more likely you are to meet new friends.
12. Don't be too picky - keep your mind open when meeting new people. Often times, people can be a little shy or act differently in front of other people, so judging them too quickly can make you lose a new potential friend.
13. Be confident Tell yourself that you are a fun, interesting and valuable friend. Leave the house only with such confidence. You will see that as much as you appreciate and believe in yourself, other people will appreciate and believe in you.
14. Pick up a work colleague– perhaps you are embarrassed to invite a colleague to go somewhere. Take the opportunity to get a ride in your car to break the ice and get to know better.
15. Attend festivals, tournaments are great places to meet a lot of new people.
16. Join a Book Club– By visiting a book club, you will be able to connect with people on a deeper level, and you can discuss and share ideas.
17. Steal friends from friends Our friends tend to have their own friends. Why not make friends with friends of friends? More likely they probably have similar interests.
18. Participate in conferences There may be hundreds or even thousands of people there. This means that there will be many new people that you can meet and keep in touch with in the future.
19. Talk to strangers You never know what kind of people are passing around you. Who knows, maybe you will talk to someone who looks like you, is also looking for new friends, and maybe you even have mutual acquaintances. Try it, they shouldn't bite you.
20. Don't be afraid to introduce yourself.- if you go to various events and parties, but are afraid to introduce yourself, then, unfortunately, you will not meet many new friends.
21. Invite people and initiate meetings with people you don't know very well but would like to know better - it's easier to invite people you don't know that well to a party at your place than to invite them to go to a coffee shop.
22. Throw a party and invite everyone with an opportunity for everyone to bring one more friend (plus one)- there will be many new faces at such a party, and you will be known to them as the host. This will serve as an excuse for you to approach and meet strangers.
23. Look for common interests- if you find in a conversation with someone that you have the same interests, play on it! Ask if they'd like to join you in a hobby activity from time to time.
24. Keep in touch with new people you meet Don't forget to keep in touch with the people you meet. You may feel uncomfortable if you don't know them well enough, but just remember that some of them would like to be your friends.
25. Go out with just one friend and set a goal to meet someone new - when you're out with a group of people, you're less likely to meet new people. Being with only one friend makes it easy to chat and make friends with new people.
26. Participate in forums– there are many different forums that cover different topics and interests. If you are looking for people to connect with them on a deeper level, to share experiences, then a forum is a great place to start such a relationship. In the forum you will find like-minded people who think similarly and have tasks and goals similar to yours.
27. If you have kids, arrange for your kids to play with other kids (and befriend their parents!) - Brilliant! This is one of the most thoughtful ways to make new friends, as you can secretly hide behind your child as an excuse to get to know each other.
28. Talk to as many people as possible- If you are at an event, party, or anywhere else, use the opportunity to talk to a lot of people. There are thousands of people around you - your potential friends, but if you do not talk to them, you will never recognize them.
29. Know how to listen to others Don't just talk about yourself, listen and ask questions of others. The best way making new friends is to show them that you are interested in them. The truth is that people are only interested in people who are interested in them.
Your turn…
Now it's up to you! You already have 29 super simple ways make new friends.
Have you taken any of the ideas listed above into your personal arsenal? If yes, which ones? Or do you have any other ideas to add to this list? Share with us in the comments below...
