Since ancient times, Russia has preserved the tradition of celebrating memorable dates, and people honor not only the birthdays of living people, but also the days of departure from the other world. This is due to the fact that Christians believe in a further afterlife with God. A lot of citizens do not know how to properly do a commemoration for 1 year. The rules are quite simple, they help the deceased find peace in the next world.
Commemoration is the oldest rite, which was carried out back in Ancient Russia. The main task of this ritual is to honor the memory of the deceased and facilitate his stay in heaven.. The basis of the commemoration is a meal, which the relatives of the deceased spend in his apartment, cafe or directly at the cemetery. When the anniversary of death is commemorated, and how to fulfill it worthily, you can find out in the temple.
Commemorations are celebrated on such days:
- on the day of death or the next day;
- 3 days after death. Most often this day is the day of the funeral;
- on the 9th day;
- on day 40;
- in the future, the meal is carried out on the sixth month from the date of death, and all subsequent anniversaries.
The most important is the mention on the 3rd, 9th and 40th day after repose. In Christianity, they are of the opinion that the first 2 days after leaving for another world, the human soul is still on earth and bypasses all its native places. On the third day, the soul goes to bow to God.
Informative! Why is it needed on the wrist: meaning in Christianity.
For the next 7 days, the angels will show the soul life in heaven and the beauty of paradise. On the 9th day, the soul is again sent to worship God, after which it is led to the kingdom of darkness - hell for 30 days.
During the month, the soul of the deceased is shown the eternal torment of sinners. In conclusion, on the 40th day, the soul is again raised to bow to God, where a decision is made in which particular place the soul will be until the Last Judgment.
In addition, you can commemorate a deceased relative on such days:
- second Tuesday after Easter. On the holiday itself, it is not worth commemorating the dead, since Easter is a holiday of living people;
- next Saturday before Lent;
- 2, 3, 4 Saturdays of Great Lent.
Since the baptized deceased person is a member of the Orthodox Church, you can order a memorial service and magpie for him almost at any time.
It's important to know! If the anniversary coincides with the day of an important church holiday, it is recommended to move it to the next day.
Commemoration in the church
The most important thing for the commemoration of the deceased is not a meal, but a prayer. If the deceased was a Christian, for him there is nothing more valuable than prayer on the anniversary of death. In addition, the clergy advise relatives on the anniversary of death to refrain from a sumptuous dinner and alcohol.
Lunch should be fairly simple and modest. A commemoration for 1 year and all subsequent times should categorically not turn into a fun feast, since such a pastime is not welcomed by Christian traditions.
In addition to personal prayer, it is imperative to order a commemoration in the church for a year:
- commemoration at the proskomedia. This rite is the first part of the liturgy, during which the priest takes out small pieces from the prosphora for repose and health.
- most often ordered "sorokoust", then the deceased will be commemorated at 40 services in a row;
- memorial service. It is usually held in temples on Saturdays or Sundays, but if necessary, you can arrange with the priest to hold it on another day;
- lithium. Another common type of funeral service. It is carried out at any time. It is also possible to visit the priest at the cemetery.
The most important condition is that the deceased and all his relatives should be remembered. The priest does not always know the deceased personally, therefore he cannot express the emotions experienced by friends and relatives.
The priest, in fact, is only the performer of the rite. The rules of conduct allow for the order of reading the Psalter. Such a service is often held in monasteries, since it is designed for long time. Depending on the size of the donation, the service will be held for a month, half a year or even a year.
It's important to know! When ordering a service in a temple, you can enter in a note not only the name of the deceased, but also other deceased relatives.
Fundamental rules
The rules for holding a commemoration in 1 year are such that you must first start the event with a visit to the church. Only after the relatives order a special service, you can go to the cemetery and perform a civil memorial service.
After that, relatives must definitely clean up the grave, mention how good the person was, what good deeds he did. Also, bring fresh flowers. It is very important to remember that it is allowed to go to the cemetery only in the first half of the day.
After completing these steps, you can start eating. It is permissible to conduct it not only in the house of the deceased, but also in a cafe. Priests do not advise to arrange a chic dinner, the dishes should be quite simple. As for alcohol, only red wine is allowed to drink, vodka cannot be put on the table.
memorial dinner
How to commemorate the deceased on the anniversary of death, only relatives should decide. But the clergy advise to pay attention to the oldest traditions. Often relatives ask the question not only how to commemorate, but also with what. Meals for lunch should be modest. Be sure to cook not only the first and second, but also kutya ( wheat porridge with raisins, candied fruits and honey). It is recommended to make snacks on this day (especially if it was decided to put wine on the table). From alcoholic drinks it is allowed to use cognac and Cahors. Sparkling wines are not suitable for this occasion.
Often, parishioners ask the priests what they order in the church on the anniversary of death, if it falls on a post. In this case, the table should be mostly meatless dishes and lots of pastries.
In the event that the memorial takes place in a cafe, you need to ask the employees to turn off the music and the TV. Entertainment is not allowed in the adjacent hall. It is not worth pronouncing toasts, as this is inappropriate.
It's better to just say good words about a person, remember his good deeds or read poems on the anniversary of death. You can also share warm memories with relatives.
Reference! What is forbidden to do on the anniversary of death is to speak words that denigrate the deceased.
Remember at home
If relatives do not have the opportunity to go to the cemetery, how the deceased is commemorated and what to do in this case. In such a situation, you need to invite everyone home and prepare a special dinner. Many people mistakenly believe that in 1 year the rules involve curtaining mirrors in the apartment and placing an appliance on the table for the deceased. The clergy claim that these traditions exist, but they do not belong to the Orthodox, so it is not necessary to adhere to them.
Every person who comes to the house, before sitting down at the table, must definitely pray. It is desirable that church candles burn in the apartment at this time. After reading the prayer, you can start the meal. Relatives are allowed to talk at the table. The main thing is that there should be no gossip, jokes and foul language, as this is inappropriate.
According to Christian traditions, the dishes that are served at the table must be consecrated. In addition to the first and second lunch, it also involves the presence of a dessert. Sweets must be present on the table, as they symbolize the joy that awaits all righteous Christians in heaven.
When preparing the table, you can consider the following tips:
- Pancakes are considered one of the traditional dishes at the wake. Usually they are washed down with fresh jelly or well-fed (honey dissolved in water).
- It is recommended to place several spruce twigs, and black ribbons can be attached to the tablecloth.
- During the change of dishes, it is necessary to read a prayer for the repose. Also, prayers on the anniversary of death 1 year (and all subsequent ones) are read after the meal.
- When leaving, the owners do not need to say words of gratitude. This is not accepted at the funeral.
Independent commemoration
If a person does not have the opportunity to go to a wake, you can remember the deceased at home. There is no need for lunch for this. As you know, celebrating the anniversary of death involves reading a prayer.
This option will be the best. Most clergy advise reading the Psalter. How to do it correctly is usually described in detail in the appendix to the book. Between the psalms, it is imperative to read special prayers, and mention the names of deceased relatives in them. This variant of remembrance is the best.
There are some exceptions in which the church does not allow to commemorate the dead during the Liturgy. This applies to people who have been baptized but have never gone to the temple. It is believed that this indicates that a person during his lifetime was an unbeliever. The clergy call such people zakhozhan.
Also, the church never commemorates those who committed suicide, since this is a voluntary rejection of God's main gift - life. This rule also applies to those people who died from an overdose of drugs, since such a death is also considered a suicide.
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Summing up
Today, more and more people prefer to order a service in the church and believe that this is enough. Despite the fact that the clergy can also turn to the Almighty with a request for the remission of earthly sins, relatives should also pray for the deceased.
The appeals of priests, as intermediaries and executors of God's will on earth, reach the Savior faster, but reading prayers at home is also mandatory. First of all, the soul of the deceased hears exactly the words of relatives, and not the ministers of the church, so relatives and friends must definitely pray.
People say that a person dies when they stop talking about and remembering people who loved him during his lifetime. Preserving the bright memory of a close relative is a task that must be understood and accepted, regardless of the transience of our time and the pain of loss. Love and gratitude for all good deeds is difficult to convey in words, and in order to properly honor the memory of the deceased, it is necessary to figure out why and how a commemoration is organized in his honor.
When should a memorial be held?
It is considered traditional to hold a commemoration immediately after the funeral, on the ninth and 40th day, as well as on the anniversary. Belief says that during the first nine days after death, the soul of the deceased is in paradise, and then goes to heaven to appear before the Lord God. This date is also timed to the nine "angelic ranks". A commemoration on the 40th day allows a universal prayer to make amends for the sins that the deceased managed to create in his life. The date itself, the fortieth day, personifies the ascension of Jesus Christ into heaven after the resurrection. The next day, when it is customary to honor the memory of the deceased, is the anniversary of his death. Only the closest people come to the meal on this day, remembering how he lived and everything connected with the earthly life of the deceased. Believing Christians also celebrate the birthday and day of the deceased angel. If relatives are set to conduct prayers, then a commemoration can be arranged both a few months later and six months after death.
Cemetery visit
The first duty on the day of the commemoration is to visit the grave of the deceased. Do this both before the meal and after it. Fresh flowers are brought to the grave, the grave is decorated with artificial wreaths and baskets. If the rules allow, you can plant a small tree. Plants at the burial site are symbols of eternal life.
On days of special commemoration of the dead, one should clean up the nearby area, clean up the grave, clear the place of debris, remove excess weeds, paint the fence or renew the cross.
In order for the soul of the deceased to find peace, the Orthodox faith provides for a special ceremony - a meal. Before it begins, those present are held a memorial service - lithium. If this is not possible, it is necessary to read the prayer: “Our Father”, Kathisma 17 or Psalm 90.
The funeral meal involves a special serving and the presence of special food, corresponding to Orthodox traditions. The eating of food begins with the serving of kutya. Kutia is made from whole grains (rice, cereals), seasoned with honey and sweet raisins as a symbol of a sweet afterlife, and sprinkled with holy water. An obligatory element of the meal is pancakes - a ritual food that marks earthly ideas about the afterlife and the sun. Next, it is supposed to serve the first courses: soup, borscht or cabbage soup, since ancient times memorial meal arranged to feed all the participants in the funeral, those who helped dig the grave, carry the coffin, prayed for the deceased and, of course, it was considered a sacred duty to feed the poor or give alms. It was also believed that a common prayer during the memorial meal would facilitate the path of the deceased to the Kingdom of Heaven. It is a tradition to serve dishes such as jelly, fish (mainly herring), kulebyaki, vegetable and sausage slices. After the end of the memorial meal, cookies are distributed to all those present.
During the meal, those present are not allowed to drink alcoholic beverages. Unfortunately, many families ignore this rule, which is why unnecessary squabbles and showdowns that are not befitting such a significant event begin at the table.
Funeral etiquette
Even in those moments when it is very difficult to restrain yourself, you must follow the rules of etiquette. Their basis is primarily decent attitude to the memory of the deceased person, respect for the feelings of loved ones. So, if you become a member of a funeral procession or a commemoration, you should not behave provocatively, laugh, make noise, or talk actively and very loudly. Don't wave your arms, don't jump, don't rejoice. Keep yourself calm and calm. It is impossible to violate the order of performance, which has developed, according to the generally accepted mourning etiquette.
It is necessary to speak about the deceased person only from the positive side. Do not insult other participants in the meal, do not enter into conflicts, do not show aggression. Do not come to the wake without an invitation. At the table, sometimes, they leave one empty place for the deceased. Next to him is usually placed his portrait, framed with a black ribbon. Friends of the deceased, colleagues, distant relatives should be the first to leave the memorial meal. The closest friends and relatives should be the last to leave the table.
According to the rules of mourning etiquette for men, a strict classic suit with a straight cut in dark color would be appropriate. As an addition, a light-colored shirt and tie are suitable. It is allowed to have a soft and not too defiant pattern on a tie. A headdress on a man should be absent. The exception is cases when it is necessary due to one or another religion. In the hot season it is allowed to take off the jacket. As for representatives of the military service, the presence of a dark dress uniform is acceptable here.
Women should be dressed in a dress of a restrained tone and with a hem that covers the knees. The head must be covered, it is allowed to remove the headgear only indoors. A veil or scarf can be used as it. Presence of any decorations (with the exception of wedding ring) in the form of earrings and chains for a wake, it is undesirable to wear. Hair should be matched, and the face - without bright makeup.
How to seat guests at the table?
Regardless of where the memorial ceremony takes place (in a banquet hall or at home), guests must be seated based on a certain principle. First of all, the closest relatives sit down at the table, then those present are seated at the table according to the principle of kinship. With regards to the friends of the deceased, they are planted according to seniority.
Orthodox commemoration is a complex ritual, the purpose of which is to honor the memory of a person who has gone to the next world and a common prayer for his soul. Our ritual agency will help you organize a funeral at the highest level. Do not forget that remembering the dead people is our sacred duty.
Orthodox commemoration of the dead primarily involves prayer. And only after that the memorial table. Of course, the funeral itself, the 9th and 40th day, are no less significant events to which all relatives, close friends, just acquaintances and colleagues from work are invited. However, at 1 year old, you can not do this, but spend the day in prayer among the closest people in the family circle. Also, a year after the sad event, it is customary to visit the cemetery.
How to hold a wake for 1 year?
If a person was baptized during his lifetime, he is ordered a funeral commemoration at the Liturgy. Prayer is a huge help for people who have left this world. Indeed, by and large, the deceased does not need either a monument or a chic meal, the only thing a loved one can do for his soul is to read prayers and remember his good deeds.
You can order the Liturgy in the church in the evening the day before the wake or in the morning on the same day. Among other things, they commemorate the deceased at the meal. On this day, it is customary to cook various dishes: this is necessarily soup, the second, and at the request of relatives, the favorite dishes of the deceased are prepared. Do not forget about pancakes, jelly and pastries.
On the day of commemoration of the death of the deceased, one should definitely visit his grave. If necessary, they put things in order there: they tint, plant flowers, needles (thuja takes root best of all, it does not grow in breadth and does not take root, but only grows upwards). If there was a temporary monument on the grave, then it is in the year after death that it is replaced with a permanent one.
Funeral meal at the wake for 1 year
Of course, the hosts want to treat the invited people to taste better, but do not forget about Orthodox fasts. So, if the commemoration fell on the day of fasting, prohibited foods should be excluded and only those dishes that are allowed for a meal should be served on the table.
At the table, it is necessary to remember the deceased, his good deeds and character traits. You should not turn the memorial table into a "drunken gathering." After all, the word "commemoration" arose from the word "remember".
The first dish served on the funeral table is kutia. It is boiled rice or wheat groats with honey and raisins. While eating the dish, they think about the deceased. Such food is considered a symbol of resurrection; according to tradition, it can be sprinkled with holy water.
The following dishes on the memorial table, namely soup, the second, can be anything, depending on the taste preferences of the deceased or the owners. It can be the usual chicken noodle soup or rich borscht, goulash with pasta or jelly, stuffed peppers or pilaf, just to meat dishes were not prohibited by fasting. As a pastry, you can serve a pie with filling or pancakes.
It should be noted that the days of remembrance must be met in a good mood, be in the mood and not be offended by the deceased for leaving this world. Moreover, it is considered correct to distribute alms and clothes or other things of the deceased to those in need at the wake.
Sources:
- Website "Orthodoxy"
A wake is a fairly complex funeral tradition found in most cultures. On the day of the commemoration, refreshments take place, as a memory of the deceased, both on the day of the funeral and on certain days later.
Among some nationalities, sacrifices are placed on the grave, which are then used as food. Other customs speak of holding feasts (military amusements) on the spot. This tradition was common among the Slavic and Germanic tribes, among the ancients. In other places, the deceased was seen off with mourning processions and weeping.
We have a common Christian custom of holding. According to the Orthodox canon, it must be done three times: on the day of the funeral, on the ninth day, and also on the fortieth. They conclude in a memorial meal. The same custom is in many. The meaning of this ritual is very deep. Believing in the immortality of the soul, people approach the deceased to God, while at the same time paying tribute to him as good. No wonder it is customary to either speak well of the deceased, or not speak at all.
The process of commemoration also includes prayers for a person who has left the earthly world. In general, all actions at such rituals have a deep meaning, even the meal menu was not chosen by chance.
So how do you hold a memorial?
- Before the start of the meal, it is necessary to read the prayer "Our Father". This necessary minimum, since it is desirable to make a lithium and sing the 90th psalm (for this they invite the so-called "singers"). In the process of commemoration, it is necessary to remember the deceased, moreover, only his positive qualities and deeds, obscene, laughter, jokes, drunkenness are prohibited.
- The menu is undesirable to make saturated. On the contrary, modesty and simplicity are necessary, since the abundance of dishes does not benefit the very process of the ritual. The first dish, which is indispensable, is the so-called kutya - porridge made from whole grain millet, or rice, seasoned with honey and raisins. Moreover, it must be sprinkled with holy water, or
The anniversary of the death of a dear person is not only a difficult event, but also an occasion to once again remember what he was like in life. It is important to start preparing for the mourning date in advance. For the dead Orthodox, this is a very significant day. The soul of the deceased forever says goodbye to the earth. In Orthodoxy, the Holy Church established the need to commemorate the deceased for a year from the date of death as a birthday in a new eternal life. The man died in body, but his soul lives on.
It is necessary to properly celebrate the anniversary of death, because this is a summing up of earthly life. To show how dear the deceased is to us, to tell, to remember what kind of person he was. Only the prayers of living people can help the soul of the deceased reach the kingdom of heaven. It is necessary to pray for the deceased not only in the first days after death. The duty of the living is to pray for the soul of the deceased constantly, and especially zealously - on memorable dates. Only our prayers can save his soul.
By this day, it is necessary to complete the installation of a permanent monument, a fence, pave the adjacent territory with tiles or sprinkle it with sand. In general, put things in order and ennoble the grave. It is very good to plant perennial flowers. Plant trees: conifers, birch, or shrubs: viburnum, lilac, thuja.
On the anniversary, be sure to visit the cemetery before lunch, bring fresh flowers. Light a candle, read prayers. You can invite a priest to conduct a service at the grave, perform the rite of lithium.
Someone independently reads an akathist and makes a lithium, they read 17 kathisma. Ask the deceased for forgiveness and thank him for all the good that was and remains in your life after him.
What to do on this day
The first anniversary of death is approaching. What to do and how to organize everything correctly, without missing anything, worries everyone who encounters this. The future of the eternal life of the deceased depends on us. The commemoration of the dead according to the charter of the Orthodox Church looks like this:
If the commemoration will be celebrated at home, prepare the hall the day before. Arrange photos with black tape, prepare photos, videos and audio recordings, slides for memories of the deceased. Place fresh flowers, candlesticks with candles, black ribbons on the table. Place images of the Savior and the Mother of God so that those who commemorate can pray before them.
If the funeral dinner is held in a cafe, take everything there in advance, they will take care of the mourning decoration themselves. In a week, invite relatives and close friends of the deceased to a memorial, notify them of the venue for the dinner.
Think over and prepare things that you will distribute to those who come to remember. It is customary to distribute some things of the deceased.
There are certain customs for the commemoration of 1 year, the rules for. On the memorial table, prepare the favorite dishes of the deceased. It is better if there are an even number of them. Usually, a memorial dinner for the anniversary of the death of the menu at home consists of the simplest dishes:
- Borscht with meat or fish.
- Chicken or mushroom noodles.
- Meat or fish dish.
- Kissel, compote, fruit drink, juices.
- Pies, pies, pancakes.
- Meat and fish cuts, salads, pickles.
It all depends on your capabilities.. The main thing is to surround the memory of the deceased with love, there is no need for scandals at the commemoration, only warm memories and Nice words. On the table, put a plate for the deceased, and in it - a glass of compote, covered with a piece of bread.
Before the start of the funeral dinner, one of the relatives should read the 17th kathisma from the psalter, or the rank of lithium. It is desirable that those who commemorate before the start of the meal read "Our Father", and after each change of dishes they read: "God rest, the soul of your servant (name)." It is important to remember that it is not the splendor of the table at the memorial that is the main thing, but the prayer for the deceased, especially zealous on memorable dates. It is necessary to pray for the soul of the deceased even after dinner is over..
After reading the prayers, they begin to commemorate with the consecrated kutya, which is prepared from wheat or rice. The grains from which kutya is prepared are a symbol of the beginning of a new life, rebirth, resurrection. Kutya on the memorial table means the resurrection of the soul, and the sweetness in it means the joy of meeting in the Kingdom of Heaven.
Pancakes are also obligatory on the memorial table, they are usually served with honey. Everything else is at the request and capabilities of those who arrange the commemoration.
It is necessary to ask for forgiveness from the deceased for everything. At the memorial table, you need to thank the deceased for being in your life, for all the good things, to indulge in pleasant memories. It is important to think over all the words for the anniversary of death in advance, prepare a speech, so that later you will not get confused with excitement when you speak an obituary. Many prepare a memorial verse for the anniversary of death in advance, write it themselves or copy it with their own hands.
It is very important to commemorate the first anniversary on the day, it is impossible in advance. Why? After all, the man was still alive. But there are situations when, with the blessing of the priest, it is necessary to postpone the commemoration for the coming weekend. But on the day of the anniversary, be sure to visit the Orthodox Church, you must be present in person at the services, order the commemoration of the deceased, give alms, visit the cemetery, and organize a commemoration later on the weekend. And, of course, do not forget about the annual day of remembrance of the dead.
Wake - a ritual performed to honor the memory of the deceased. The basis of the commemoration is a joint meal arranged by loved ones in the house of the deceased person, or in the dining room.
Commemoration is carried out:
- on the day of death;
- three days after death - the day of the funeral, when the soul goes to another world;
- on the ninth day;
- on the fortieth day;
- a memorial meal is arranged six months after the death, and after that for all further anniversaries.
As usual, relatives or close people of the deceased come to the funeral. It is important to remember that it is impossible to drive away those who came to honor the memory of the deceased. As a rule, commemorations are organized not for guests and not for the sake of a feast, but in order to remember the deceased, to pray for his repose. It is especially important to read a prayer for the deceased before the memorial meal. Priests advise reading the seventeenth Kathisma from the Psalter and the prayer "Our Father" before starting to eat.
Wake date shift
It happens that the memorial day falls on a church holiday, or on working days, when it is not possible to leave work, in connection with the preparation of everything necessary for the memorial meal. As a result, the question arises: is it possible to postpone the date of commemoration?
Priests believe that a meal can be arranged earlier or later than the exact date of death. If there are good reasons that prevent a funeral dinner, you should keep the reference point, the first duty, precisely on them. However, if there are no good reasons to postpone the memorial meal to another day, it is better not to do this, because the afterlife has its own rules. On this day, it is better to focus on good deeds, for example, distribute memorial treats to people in need.
It is not necessary to hold a wake during Easter and Passion Week of Great Lent. In these weeks, everything is rushing towards the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, as well as the news of his return to life. Therefore, if the date allotted for the memorial dinner coincides with these periods, it is best to move the memorial meal to the day of Radonitsa - the day when the dead are commemorated.
If the day of commemoration falls on the eve of the Christmas holidays, it would be more correct if the commemoration is moved to January 8th. Such an event is taken as a good omen, because the commemoration is dedicated to the event of birth in an endless life in another world.
Priests also recommend remembering that the deceased, in the first place, should be prayed for. Therefore, the day before the memorial meal, it is recommended to order the Liturgy for the burial of the Soul of the deceased and the Panikhida for the memorial day. And the memorial meal can be postponed to one of the first days off of subsequent anniversaries of death. However, it is not advisable to postpone the commemoration, arranged on the fortieth day after the repose, for an early date.
Memorial Day
In each religion, a certain date is set aside for the memorial day, when relatives, or just close people, commemorate the deceased. If, due to urgent circumstances, it was not possible to honor the memory of close deceased people on the day of their death, this must be done on the memorial day.
- In the Orthodox faith, the memorial day is Tuesday of the second week after Easter. However, this is not the only day when you can remember relatives. In addition to Radonitsa, five more days are allocated for the memory of the dead;
- In Catholic belief, the memorial day falls on November 2. Commemoration on the third, seventh and thirtieth days may not suit;
- In the religion of Islam the main task- remember the deceased with prayer, do good deeds on his behalf: help orphans, poor people. In this religion, it does not matter at all on what day after the repose of the soul a memorial meal will be arranged. It is important that no one should know in whose name these acts are being performed;
- In Buddhism, the day of obedience - the festival of Ulamban - falls on the first half of the seventh month of the lunar calendar.
Everyone knows that people who have gone to another world should be remembered, but not often people understand the purpose for which this should be done. Do not forget that the connection between the living and the dead exists. Therefore, after the death of a person, his relatives are restless, in their souls there is anxiety and sadness, they often dream of the dead who ask for food or provide them with some kind of help.
It is generally accepted that after such dreams a person should pray, visit the temple, do some good deed (help the poor, orphans). All this benevolence has a good effect on the souls of the dead. If it is not possible to arrange a memorial service on the appointed day, do not be upset. You can leave a note to the clergyman, and he will carry it out himself.
The spiritual state of a person also influences the state of the deceased in the afterlife, in another world in order to help them. To do this, one should begin to change, first of all, oneself and the society around oneself. To begin with, it would be nice to get rid of bad habits, forgive all your offenders, not harbor evil on them, start praying, visiting churches, reading the Bible, helping others and orphans.
During the commemoration, one should remember the purpose, a kind of ritual. Saying a common prayer, it is better to ask the Lord God to endow the deceased with the Kingdom of Heaven and rest his soul.
