The girl says she wants to be a friend. Fell in love with a girl, but for her we are just friends

“Friendship between a man and a woman: you try to be a friend, but you hope for more, she leaves you hope to use you to the fullest.”

- Roman Vinilov.

This happens to every man at least once in his life: the girl he likes offered to remain friends. This is hard to come to terms with. But the most unpleasant thing in such a situation is that you have little hope left. Logic suggests that if you have not received a rude refusal and the girl as a whole is not against communication, then you lack quite a bit for more. Maybe she just didn't have time to understand how cool you are. And here many make the most terrible mistake - they try to prove to the girl that she is wrong. Why this is so terrible - we'll talk below.

What does "let's be friends" mean?

Perhaps you yourself guess that women's "yes" or "no" are not always said sincerely. If a girl offered communication, it seems that this is a kind of borderline position between “yes” and “no”. But here lies the danger. Even the hardest “no” is only a test, but “let's remain friends” most often means indifference to you as a man. She, of course, could send you rudely, but this happens extremely rarely. The cynicism is that any man is much more useful as a friend than an enemy or acquaintance. However, most likely you will be friends, and she will use it.

Slightly different situation if you've met before: you had serious relationship, sex. The girl offers to remain friends because, in fact, she wants to leave. There can be various reasons for this: it has become boring with you, you have ceased to excite her - you are no longer perceived as a man. How to deal with this, we will talk at the very end. But much of what will be written below is useful for everyone to know.

Why you shouldn't try to convince her

Despite the seemingly illogical behavior, chaotic actions and windiness in their views, the girls are extremely specific in matters of choosing a man. They pass their verdict very quickly: you either hooked her as a man - a possible sexual partner - or not. The worst thing you can do is try to convince her in words. It never works.

Second, but no less bad, is trying to impress her. Even if you decide to look after beautifully, all your actions will most likely be perceived as the actions of a weak person. Of course, only a stupid lady will refuse beautiful courtship, where the girl is showered with flowers and given expensive gifts. But she will always emphasize that you are just friends. Thus, she will be simply happy: her friends will envy the presence of a new boyfriend, while she will be rudely, but qualitatively fucked by someone who treats her much cooler than you.

What to do?

The best advice is to think carefully do you need it at all. Have you overestimated its value for yourself too much? And ideally, just switch to others.

Just take a break (it won't get worse) and get distracted for a while. Then choose a day to think carefully. Don't be surprised, but most of us take little time to reflect on our lives. And to understand the feelings, you need a peaceful state and clarity of mind. Just go to the park and turn off your phone. Sitting on a bench on a sunny day, or walking leisurely, rewind time and understand for yourself: do you like this girl so much. Understanding everything will help both an analysis of her actions and attitude towards you, as well as episodes from your past life. Perhaps by the evening you will return home in full confidence that this bitch is not worth you.

Any man is a hunter by nature. We like to achieve our goal - this is how we get a new portion of testosterone, we feel the taste of life. There is little that compares to the feeling of victory, especially if it was difficult. Forbidden fruit is sweet, and after the girl has offered intercourse, sex with her seems to be the most desired trophy. Wounded pride hits men the hardest: it drives them into depression and destroys self-esteem. But imagine for a second that all your suffering can only be because of one thing - you would like to fuck her. And even if not only that: it seems to you that you are in love - how can you be sure of this if you have not even had sex?

And no matter how in the end it turned out that you get what you want and lose interest. First, you will hurt the girl. Secondly, you yourself will experience an unpleasant feeling from the fact that you have deceived yourself.

In any case, after the girl offered to remain friends, you have time to think. In this case, it only works for you. After all, if she said this, it is important to take a step back. Below you will find out why.

Temporarily disappear from the radar

So, you still decided that you need it, or just want to achieve it, by all means. I hope you understand that the root of the problem lies in yourself, and who you are now is not at all interested in this girl as a man.

Ok, settle for friendship and pretend that it suits you. But stop doing everything she asks once and for all. After a while, send her to complete ignore: no calls and messages. If she writes or calls herself, you can answer in monosyllables, referring to employment, but politely and without emotion. Let him think that something interesting is happening in your life. Keep communication to a minimum, ideally to zero. And try not to get caught in her life at all.

She will try to pull the old strings, especially if your "friendship" lasts a long time, and she is used to you showing up at the snap of her fingers. This is where the process of changing her attitude towards you begins: you are no longer on a leash. The main thing is not to break down and play to the end.

start to change

You need to actively develop, and you need to do it for yourself, and not for her.

Your image. This is the easiest thing you can change in yourself in a short time. If you don't play sports, start now. burn it excess weight(if there is one) morning jogging, do it every day in the gym or at least at home. Tight, with a straight posture, guys like all the girls without exception. Change your wardrobe, contact a stylist or - to pump in the complex.
success. Of course, it is difficult to become successful in a few months: start earning a lot, make a career or build a business. It's practically unrealistic. But a man is always noticeable if he is promising. And there are prospects for those who study a lot - read, go to courses, engage in creativity, have a hobby, travel. right now there may not be a job of his dreams, but he knows what he wants, and goes to the goal with leaps and bounds. It's also good to reinforce your new interesting life social media reports.
Skills. A successful seducer combines many skills that help in many different areas. I write about all this on my blog and talk about it at trainings. Now all your time should be devoted to self-improvement. Competent and delivered speech, oratorical skills and the ability to charm a girl - all this can be obtained in the short term.

Ideally, you should appear before the girl who offered to remain friends, completely different from what you were before. She will have a novelty effect: you will be perceived as a completely different, attractive man, and not the one written off as a “friend”. She will think: “How did I not notice how interesting he is before.”

seduce

The final step is seduction. Ideally, the meeting should take place after several months of a complete information vacuum. In any case, this will arouse her interest, but you will already be a different person - both outside and inside. It is desirable that by this time you have already had several victories on the front of seduction, so as not to mess up. Since all this needs to be done in parallel with the development of many other things, I advise you to come to our training, where you will receive all of the above much faster than yourself. About the seduction of me is too big a topic for a few paragraphs. So read the blog, or better yet, come visit us. After the training, you will be able to seduce a girl who offered just communication.

The girl offers to remain friends after the relationship

As I said, there is another option: you already had a relationship, but one day the girl offered just communication. There are nuances here. It can be both a short-term relationship and a long-term marriage. In any case, if you have had sex more than once or twice, she has already made a choice in your favor once. Now she does not consider you as a man, but she has not forgotten this feeling.

Just like in the first option, you you need to clearly and soberly understand what you want. Perhaps staying friends in this case is really the only right way out. Beloved part with a scandal, and then all their lives they behave as if they did not know each other, or maintain a good relationship. If you yourself understand that there are no previous feelings, it is better to be a man and use the breakup as a chance to start a new, more successful life. Moreover, it is in this variant that something like friendship is possible. You are not strangers. Just don't let yourself be used.

But if you love her, don't give up. This is the return of your beloved girl - something in which we can really help you. Again, a pause will be helpful. At this time, you can get to know our community, read real stories and gain some wits. If you are afraid that she may find another, choose my individual help. I will personally take care of your case and will definitely help, like hundreds of other men. The return of relations is really a solvable problem. If you know what you want, don't hesitate.

In what case does the girl offer DOD?

In my opinion there is two main options:

First option , this is when a proposal of friendship can be likened to the word "Fuck off." You are absolutely not interesting to a girl: no common interests, different worldviews, tastes, lifestyle (you can continue indefinitely). No comment.

Second option (by the way, the most frequent), is completely opposite to the first. A girl likes you... but as a friend. The reasons for this must first be sought in oneself, and not in someone else. The main reason why a girl offers to remain friends is that she simply does not see a male in you. Yes, there may be hundreds of others (the girl is tired of relationships, she doesn’t need relationships at all, she likes another, etc.), but this is the most frequent.

How to respond to the offer to remain friends?

In the first option, it seems to me that it would be most reasonable to find yourself more the right girl. Thank God, there are a lot of them, and if you wish, you will find it.

Choosing the right solution in the second option is somewhat more difficult. If a girl sincerely loves you as a friend, if she appreciates and understands you, then saying “Goodbye” to the girl (or other more offensive phrases that often appear on pickup forums) is somehow wrong and stupid. After all, life doesn't end there. Maintain friendly relations with her, and along the way, look for a new girlfriend. And stop thinking about this: most likely, you are idealizing it, and you should think about it less.

Another thing is if you are absolutely not satisfied with this state of affairs. You don’t need friendships, you have a lot of friends (girlfriends), and the girl who suggested DOD is ideal: tastes completely converge in everything, you like her appearance, mannerisms, gestures, facial expressions, gait, clothing style (and this list goes on for a very long time). And, of course, all my advice that you will find yourself a bunch of other girls will be like a squid against the wall. In this case, there can be two solutions: either you overpower yourself and reduce communication to a minimum (roughly speaking, you send, although sending, of course, is not at all necessary), or you achieve reciprocity. Well, you can achieve reciprocity, the matter, as usual, is only in your desire.

And also these “don’t touch me” is an attempt not to show accessible woman and absolve yourself of responsibility. It is very important for a girl not to seem easily accessible, it is important for her that she does not give (it does not matter sex or), but that they take from her.

Let's be friends, what should we do? Above, we figured out why this happens, and now let's talk about what can be done. Ras you are in such a situation. The situation needs to be corrected, and not slowly.

Let's clarify again - you can hear words about friendship from a girl when time passes, and you don't have sex with her, don't take her. That is, your communication does not go into another, bodily channel. Moreover, the more dates you had without sex, the more chances each time that there will be no sex with this girl at all!

Those chances of getting nothing grow exponentially. In general, understand that if you don’t have sex with a girl after the third date, then you most likely lost, and even if you still have sex later, then it’s not you, but the girl will be the main one in the relationship, and this, to put it mildly, is bad.

The longer you've been friends, the less likely you are to drop out of friends. Men come to me for training, and some of them tell me - "You know, I've been friends with one girl for five years, how can I fuck her." Of course, I am shocked by such words. I've been friends with my friend Alexander for about five years, too, but I'm thinking how to fuck him!)))). But we will talk about how to get out of a protracted friendship in other articles, but now ...

Believe me, she will resist very strongly and try to put you in your place. Yes, there is a certain risk here - Either she will become your girlfriend, or you will lose her completely. But understand that you have already lost her if the girl offered to be friends.

What you need to do is call her and insist on a meeting. And this is not a movie or bowling, not a walk in the park, but a cafe with sofas so that you can sit next to it (this is extremely necessary). This cafe should be intimate, not loud music, subdued lights…

And there you begin to tell her that you really like her as a woman and that you are not going to be friends with her. But at the same time, your words should not be just empty, they should be supported by actions.

You just take her, turn her towards you and kiss her on the lips. Once again I tell you - there is nothing to lose! It breaks off - then you forget about it and that's it. And friendship is nonsense, you will dream about her, and she will meet with another, and you will see it. Is it better?

On my YouTube channel and here in the "Video" section, you can find videos on how to touch a girl on a date.

And no matter how your hands shake from excitement and fear of losing her, you still start to touch her. Grab yourself by the balls, you're the man!

Most the best solution- If the girl offered friendship and said let's be friends, then my personal opinion is that the situation is generally lost. Try it, of course, but I don't want to give you too much hope. Most likely, seventy percent that you have already lost this match, perhaps even eighty, so you need to think, .

But, there is a great solution for how to make sure that no girl will tell you this again. Never. This and effective communication with women from the project ALL YOURS. This is not an advertisement, you can go to one of my colleagues, that's not the point.

The bottom line is that you have a real chance to change your life for the better. Once and for all, fill it with the most beautiful and classy women and, in the end, find your soulmate who will love you.

At the training we will pump you, remove all your fears and prejudices. It consists of eighty percent practice, that is, we will not just tell you what to do, you will do, and not just listen.

Because communication with women can only be learned through practice. You have probably already seen my videos with live dating with girls, so here you can do the same! So don’t delay, life goes by very quickly…..

In this article, you learned what to do if a girl said let's be friends. It's up to you, man, to draw your own conclusions.

This phrase, probably, everyone has ever heard and knows firsthand how painfully it hits self-esteem. What to do in such a situation? How to change the course of events in the right direction?

So. Let's go back a little.

You met the girl you like. Made an appointment. We started dating. Go to cafes, cinemas, go to clubs and concerts. Naturally, all this is at your expense. This goes on for some time. Platonic friendly communication you get bored a little and you want more.

But at the very first attempts to translate relations into a horizontal plane, the girl, modestly lowering her eyes, says: - ?

It seems that the earth is floating away from under your feet and life has been lived in vain. But do not despair. All this is not so scary if you know what to do in such cases.

So what should be done? How to behave?

The main thing, of course, is not to do anything stupid and, stepping on the throat of your hormones and offended pride, soberly assessing the situation, do the most top choice- keep banging your forehead against the wall or spend time with much more benefit, because there are so many pretty girls around.

To spit, grind and forget in such a situation would be the most correct. But it happens that the girl really likes and does not want to leave. Or you just want to get satisfaction for wasted nerves, time and money.

Then the good news for you is that there is a solution in such a seemingly difficult situation.

The action plan in this case should be like this. We disappear from her field of vision for a certain time, for 2-3 weeks. This will help to recover a little and start the relationship as if from scratch. If during this time, of course, you don’t want to continue the relationship with her. No SMS, calls, random meetings. Sustaining a pause, you must try as much as possible actively communicate with the female gender. An experienced male is always more attractive in the eyes of women, and it doesn’t hurt to raise self-esteem yourself.

And now, time passes, and you again appear in front of her. But no longer in the role of a boyfriend, ingratiatingly looking into his eyes, in the role of a kind of macho who knows how to seduce anyone who knows her own worth and which she simply cannot get. It should look exactly like this.

You can go somewhere else again, but try not to pay for it again. You are friends. She herself suggested: - Let's stay friends! At the same time, friends are not forbidden to visit each other. So try to visit her. Let her feed you something she cooked herself there.

Share secrets with her in a friendly way - tell her about your adventures, about how and with whom it was in bed. Invite her to support you on your next date. Ask her about other girls. Try to visit with her more often where you can meet her friends, go together in company, to parties. Flirt with all her friends. The natural female sense of ownership will not allow her to scatter such cool guys and soon she will drag you into bed herself.

The phrase of the girlfriend becomes quite unpleasant: "Let's remain friends." This can happen both after a long relationship with her, and even before their onset. At any moment, a girl can decide to leave, which will be a bolt from the blue for a guy. How to get back your girlfriend who no longer wants to be with you?

This question remains relevant, because in our time, parting is common. You meet a girl, you love her, you cherish her, and she suddenly says that she wants to remain friends. It happens that a girl takes courtship for a long time, even lets her in, and then says that she is breaking up.

Looking back at past relationships, it's hard to find reasons why a girl says, "Let's be friends." It is stupid for a girl to say such a phrase to a guy who is clearly not in the mood for friendly relations with her. It’s even more stupid for the guy himself to immediately succumb to emotions and pretend that he can easily live without a girl.

If there is a desire to return the girl, despite hurtful words, then we will consider this topic in more detail on the website site.

What should not be done if a girl says: "Let's be friends"?

After the relationship broke up and the girl says: “Let's remain friends,” internal anger and indignation arise. How can you remain friends after what happened between you? If you have not cooled down with feelings just like your ex-lover, then you are probably worried about the question of what needs to be done to get her back. Now we will discuss the topic of what not to do when a girl left you. After all, the most important mistake can be made not by returning, but by responding to parting.

The most common guy behaviors are:

Complete ignore. The guy pretends that he is also satisfied with the breakup.
Running after a girl, gifts and compliments. If a girl pushes a guy away, then the behavior of the guy when he intensively courts her will be too much.

These are two extremes that will not lead to good. Let us consider in more detail all the mistakes that should be avoided after breaking up with a girl:

Give gifts, compliments, apologize. This is called humiliation when a guy's girlfriend sends him off, and he continues to look after her like a faithful dog. The girl will be annoyed by the behavior of a guy who does not respect himself and is ready to crawl in front of her on his knees, if only she would come back to him.
Constantly call and text her. Exes can't be in constant contact if they don't have an ongoing relationship. The girl left you, left. It's time to stop calling her, writing messages, especially of a love nature. This is another way of humiliation that will only alienate the girl from you.
Cry in front of her. This can happen both literally and indirectly. If a guy shows himself as unhappy and needy, it only infuriates. Even more annoying is the situation when the guy begins to threaten: “If you don’t come back to me, then I will kill myself.” The girl can either laugh in the face, or take pity on the guy and return to him, but not for long and not seriously. In any case, the relationship will fall apart even faster, and the girl will finally be impossible to return after this.
Declaration of love. The girl who left the guy does not need his declarations of love in any form. This will annoy her even more and move her away from the guy. She can maintain contacts, but not succumb to love words.

Considering the mistakes of guys, one can note another most common one, which modern young ladies in their right mind and mind will not fall for. Let's talk about it further.

How to get your girlfriend back: do not say that everything will change

Psychologists say that you need to reconsider your behavior if you want to return your beloved girl who left the guy. However, it will be a mistake to behave when a guy, having only heard about his bad behavior, without thinking, starts throwing promises: “I'm sorry. It won't happen again. I promise you". Don't say everything will change. Why?

If you promise on emotions, without serious intentions to change something in the relationship, then you will briefly get along with your beloved, but she will quickly leave you as soon as she notes for herself that you have deceived her. If you promised, you must definitely change it! If you don't change anything, then the girl will leave you and next time she won't listen at all.

You can promise again that you will do everything to change your bad behavior. But now the girl will not believe your words, and will do the right thing: you promise without having conscious and serious intentions and desires to do so. Your goal is to get the girl back, win, not really improve your relationship.

No matter how much you promise, the girl will not believe you, because there is already a real experience of incontinence of the word. It's the same as if a girl promised you to lose weight if you married her. What is the connection between marriage and weight loss is illogical and incomprehensible. Just as you would not believe that the girl will really lose weight after the wedding, so she will not believe you that your relationship will improve if she returns to you.

Young people, more mature men and women also keep up with them, known for their transience of love. Today they love, and tomorrow they no longer feel this feeling. But it happens that the partners met for a long time, and then broke up for some reason. After that, one of them decides to return the former lover or sweetheart, but does not know how to do it.

How to get your love back? First, you should understand that if you were previously loved, but then stopped loving, it means that some circumstances contributed to this. There is love in your partner, but it constantly goes out for some reason. So, you just need to make sure that love for you flares up again.

Secondly, you should understand the reasons that extinguish the love of your partner. These reasons served as your parting. For what reasons did you break up? What made your partner leave you? Identify and start eliminating them.

Don't make one of the mistakes people make when trying to get back in a relationship: they run after their loved ones, but they don't work on what caused their breakup. But former partners are watching to see if people change. And if they don't change, then they don't see the point in rekindling the relationship.

Your task is not just to return your loved one, but also to show him that you have become different: what used to be a problem is no longer there, you have changed. You need to work through all those problem areas, because of which you constantly quarreled with your beloved, and change them. Your former partner needs to see that by resuming a relationship with you, she will not face again what previously annoyed you or led to conflicts. Therefore, change yourself and, as if by chance, show your new qualities to your former partner. You should not talk about them, but demonstrate them in appropriate situations. And when the ex sees your changes, she herself will want to return to you.

Renew feelings in your loved ones by eliminating your mistakes and the causes of your quarrels. Make it so that former lovers themselves want to return to you, and not because you were persistent. In the first case, they will stay with you for a long time, because they themselves have expressed a desire to be around. And in the second case, happiness will not last long - until your first quarrel.

You should consider tips on how to get your girlfriend back in order to be able to renew a relationship with her:

Accept her offer. She says, "Let's be friends." And you agree! This will be a shock to her, when she expected you to disagree and start running after her. In such a situation, when you break up, she will be interested in what you are doing, who is next to you now, what distracts you from thinking that she broke up with you.
Don't call her first, wait for her to call you herself. And in most cases, the girl who left the guy herself soon dials him on the phone to find out about his affairs. Here you can already control the situation. For example, you can say "I'm busy, let's call later." No need to talk about past relationships or feelings. Communicate on neutral topics, such as: how are you, what are you doing, what's new, etc.

Try not to tell her everything, it's better not to finish. Let her understand that she does not receive answers to her questions. At the same time, do not communicate with her for a very long time. As soon as there are pauses in the conversation, you should end the conversation. It is better to do it on your own initiative.

Start dating another beauty. She must be really beautiful or at least interesting to you. It's even better if your ex finds out that you're in a new relationship. Not only did she herself initiate the break in relations, because of which she lost a smart and interesting guy, he still doesn’t cry for her, but is passionate about something and even found himself another girl.

Often girls break up to be chased. Calm your ardor former theme that you will give her what she herself tried to achieve - loneliness away from you.

Get to a party where she and your mutual friends will be. Well, if the girl will be forced to see you in practice. It’s good if you change yourself by this time in the sense where she was dissatisfied with you. At the same time, do not try to run up to her and immediately tell her that you have changed. She herself must see that you have become different - the way she wanted to see you.

Chat with everyone at the party. Pay as much attention to your ex-girlfriend as you do to your other friends. Chat with her girlfriends, and with your friends, and with her. At the same time, behave like an acquaintance who does not think about her at all and does not miss her.

You can add “pepper” in order to bring your new passion to the party. Look after her and be a gentleman enough to ex girlfriend just stunned and jealous. She needs to see what she has lost, especially when "all the good" goes to some other girl.

Outcome

Girls are emotional beings. Today they want to stay friends with the guys, and tomorrow they already regret their decision. This effect is achieved when the guys do not run after those who dumped them, and also continue to live, meet new girls and even become better. The result of all the events - and the desire to restore the former relationship with the one that destroyed them herself.

Let's not forget about the mistakes that many guys make. If you do them, then you can forget that the former will return, because with each unsuccessful meeting she will understand that she definitely does not need a squishy and crybaby.