Love has no age. How often do we hear such a phrase and do not really think about it! She seems to be familiar, but when faced with a similar situation, there is bewilderment: how can a young woman meet a man 20 years older than her? Many people around do not understand such love and take it for an ordinary calculation. However, girls who have fallen in love with a mature man usually do not pay attention to the gossip of others and try to figure out what to do with their love, because it is so strong!
Young girls usually still believe in bright and sincere love. If their minds are not clouded by calculation, they can be loyal and very devoted, giving their all in relationships and demanding little in return.
A man who is 40 and over has burned himself more than once in a relationship and sees mature women as selfish and narcissistic. His need to patronize can "strangle" such adult ladies who become morally independent and self-sufficient over the years. Therefore, they choose for themselves young and often naive girls who can not only be pampered, but also taught their wits in order to finally feel like a man. Also, a young wife can be proud of others.
Why young girls choose mature men
A young girl sometimes does not perceive her boyfriends of the same age for one simple reason: they seem to be still children. In fact, there is a grain of truth here: boys mature later than girls. When a girl dreams of a family and children, a guy wants to sit in a cafe with friends or go to a trendy club with a big company. Young girls can be very annoying. If they meet a young guy, they try to control him and dose out communication with friends and going to places of entertainment. A mature man is no longer interested in such entertainment. He walked up so much in his time that he wants to live quietly in a cozy nest and with a minimum of adventures. Just what you need for young girls!
What age difference can be considered big? The answer is: 15 years or more. Such marriages have both their pros and cons. Unfortunately, this affects not only the physical component, but also the psychological one. Such relationships can still be influenced by additional factors, such as the environment or close relatives.
Issues of jealousy in an unequal marriage
As you know, the relationship of a young guy and a girl resembles a fun roller coaster or a volcano: passion is replaced by a violent quarrel, followed again by a sentimental reconciliation. A mature man is much stronger psychologically and can easily withstand the surge of hormones of his young wife. Her grievances, tantrums or claims do not infuriate her as in her youth, but are perceived with condescension and tenderness. One of the strongest problems that can arise is jealousy on the part of an older spouse, and often unjustified. Therefore, you need to pay 2 times more attention to him than to your once young boyfriend. In addition to this main problem in an unequal marriage, there are other disadvantages, as well as advantages.
The man is 20 years older. pros
1. Strength and protection. All girls want to see a man next to them who can put responsibility on their strong shoulders, protect them morally and physically, and also financially support them. A mature man is no longer an egoist, as he was in his youth. He is able to devote himself entirely to the family and do everything for the happiness of his beloved. This was laid down by our ancestors: the man was the earner, and the woman was the keeper of the hearth. Therefore, a confident and older man can provide his young wife with the necessary rear
Underwater rock. Do not think that being under guardianship and protection, you can completely relax. Such a man will demand from you a quiet life, which will consist of washing, cooking, and occasionally forays into nature.
2. Indulging whims. A mature man is a real storehouse for capricious girls with character. Today I want one thing, tomorrow another - such husbands will endure all this and easily forgive their windy girlfriend. Isn't this a cherished dream? They will take you anywhere and fulfill all your whims, as long as you are happy.
Underwater rock. A woman is a very contradictory nature, and a young girl even more so. Where is the guarantee that she will not stop treating her mature spouse with respect? Ideally, a man indulges a woman, but at the same time knows how to defend his boundaries. Only then will he be so alluring and desirable for her. If a kind uncle, 20 or 25 years older than you, begins to please you 24 hours a day, you will quickly get tired of it and you will leave him again for the young and unbridled.
3. Smart conversations. Mature men are able to talk on any topic thanks to life experience. This allows them to always remain interesting for their partner. Evening gatherings together and without extra people is something that is appreciated by all couples.
Underwater rock. For a man to be interested in you, you need to pull yourself up to him a little. No wonder people say that a girl with a mature man is getting older, and a man is getting younger - the law of communicating vessels. Therefore, if your choice fell on an adult man over 20 years old, develop your intellect.
4. Social position. With him, you will really be behind your husband. It will not only support and help, but will also give your image more status. Such a man already has a stable career or business, so you are not afraid of jumping through financial holes.
Underwater rock. If you are chasing material wealth, you will someday want sincere love. And then the misfortunes and betrayals on the part of the young girl will begin.
5. Great family man. best husband and the father of children than a grown man, you will not find. He will be able to keep the hearth as good as any woman, and he will also never leave children unattended. Change diapers, go to the clinic with the child, agree on a separate room - this confident man everything can.
Underwater rock. Perhaps you, as an independent girl in our time, do not want to have children early. And here the age difference manifests itself: he is afraid that it will be too late, she does not want to, because it is too early.
6. Great sex. A mature man has a huge store of knowledge and understands what affection women like and what not. These are amazing lovers who will put the satisfaction of their other half in the first place.
Underwater rock. Such sexual happiness will not last long. When a woman turns 40, she only blossoms in her sexuality. A man who is over 60 finds it difficult to satisfy his insatiable girlfriend.
The man is 20 years older. Minuses
Instructions. He can start teaching you the mind and you will quickly get tired of it. Not every girl likes it when she talks about her reckless ideas, and a mature man just rolls his eyes and assures that this will pass with age. Girls can become annoyed by endless patronage and advice: where to go, how to dress, what to do at home and what music to listen to.
What to do? Sometimes it’s worth listening, perhaps your man really understands something more, for example, in matters of work or business. If you start brushing him off like an annoying fly, he will easily be offended and close in on himself.
Temperament difference. A mature man can be strained by your recklessness and ease of climbing. You want to spend the weekend actively, he is passive. Perhaps you will try to pull him to a beach party or a holiday of colors, but he is unlikely to support your impulse and make up a full-fledged company.
What to do? You will have to learn to compromise. Today he wants to sit at home, and tomorrow let him go somewhere to unwind with you. The difference of 20 years may not be so noticeable if you both try to understand each other and satisfy the desires of the second half.
Socializing with friends. What will guys and girls call a man who is suitable for their fathers? Sasha or Alexander Semenovich? Unfortunately, trips to visit friends or joint outings in pairs may stop altogether. If you have found common interests with your mature husband, there is no guarantee that he will be interested in the company of such young people.
What to do? Do not forcefully try to make your husband friends with your friends. Nobody wants to feel uncomfortable. Try to understand your man if he refuses to go to the concert together and instead wants to go somewhere just the two of you.
Aging. A man will age 20 years earlier than you, and for him it will become a real crisis. Young at heart, he will physically feel unwell, and there is no guarantee that he will not throw out his experiences and complexes on you.
What to do? Provide him with maximum comfort and coziness, do not tease him with constant absences from home with friends, and try as little as possible to talk about the fact that you are somewhere fun and good without him. If you are ready to make such sacrifices, then feel free to connect your fate with a man 20 years older than you.
Gossip. You can't avoid gossip behind your back. It is unlikely that anyone will believe that you are married for great and bright love. The people around will see only material benefits in this, and mothers will twist at the temple. Be prepared to be misunderstood by friends, relatives and co-workers.
What to do? If you decide to take such a bold step as an unequal marriage, get ready to reflect negative exclamations and at some point not respond to indignation or barbs. Psychologically, this may be too difficult for you and your relationship. Are you two ready to endure this?
Remember that in such a relationship, when a man is 20 years older, the risks are much greater. He may stop loving you, not want to have more children and even die. At the same time, you will remain full of strength and attractiveness. Also, those around you can exhaust all your nerves.
However, do not react to society and decide what you want from such a marriage and whether you are ready to take responsibility for these risks. Not everyone is ready to agree to a life where a man's life is almost over, and a woman's is just beginning.
Elena Malakhova
Sexologist, psychotherapist
As a rule, relationships with a large age difference have a parent-child model. Mom-son - when it comes to relationships where the woman is older than the man, and dad-daughter - where the husband is much older than his wife. That is, this is an attempt to find a parent in a partner, to receive love, care, attention - something that was not given in childhood. And if you dig deeper, it turns out that the girl had a tense relationship with her dad, and the boy had a hard time with his mom. And when they become adults (by passport, but not by emotional intelligence), they want to recreate the relationship of a child and a caring parent. In fact, we are all looking for a partner of the opposite sex in one way or another. The question is how pronounced it is.
Role difficulties
Man is multifaceted. And in a relationship, you cannot always be in only one role - a friend, parent, child or lover. If you've been hurt at work or just tired, you want parental care and involvement. If you are in the mood to "play pranks", then you are waiting for a sexual response. And if you need useful advice, the role of a friend would be quite appropriate. These and many other roles are constantly changing in family relationships. Partly because of this change, interest in each other and the balance of the family system are maintained. In relationships with the child-parent model, the roles are usually constant. And this is what leads to boredom and routine and partly explains the strange paradox: it happens that an elderly husband leaves his young wife for a wife of the same age.
However, if such relationships follow the path of development, then they become a growth zone for a younger and inexperienced partner. He, as a student, absorbs the experience of the elder. And as long as one has something to give, and the other is interested in taking it, the relationship can continue. Quite often, having reached the level of his teacher, a young partner breaks off relations.
In exchange for experience, the senior partner receives admiration, adoration, a “look from the bottom up” - the opportunity to assert themselves. In addition, they say, touching youth, you yourself become younger. It happens that the youngest of the spouses is a muse for the older one - and then such a creative tandem can turn out to be unusually stable and fruitful.
There are also disadvantageous variants of such relations. If the junior partner "hangs" on his senior satellite and fully exploits it. Or vice versa, the elder manipulates the young and weak, deliberately creating unequal relationships in order to dominate and subdue.
Typical Difficulties
If you risk entering into a marriage of different ages, you need to be prepared for this:
Death of senior spouse. You may be ready to accept death itself and come to terms with it in advance ... But when you talk about it theoretically, then it is seen in the format of "fell asleep and did not wake up." The reality is usually darker. I had a patient whose husband, being 20 years older than her, fell ill at the age of 60. Alzheimer's disease developed rapidly. For several years he stopped recognizing his relatives, relieved himself and was completely helpless. His wife at that time was a little over forty ... When she turned to me, she was severely depressed.
Sexual disharmony. With sex in couples of different ages, everything is problem-free only at first. A 20-year-old girl and a 40-year-old man have approximately the same needs. But then her sexuality increases, and his goes down. When she is 40 and he is 60, the situation becomes critical. If the spouses are patient with each other, then sharp corners can be smoothed out. A woman needs to learn how to excite her man a little longer, and use any suitable moments to fulfill her desire (for example, morning erections). Active lifestyle, quitting smoking and alcohol, proper nutrition help extend man's health. In the end, you can choose a drug that allows you to maintain an erection ...
If we are talking about relationships where a woman is older than a man, then the most important thing for harmonious sex is outer side, how a man perceives his girlfriend and how she herself feels in sex: does she like her own body, does she feel constrained due to the age difference, or does this make her more liberated? After all, for women's sexuality, age is not a hindrance. For a man, the experience of his partner can turn him on even more. The main problem of such a relationship is the inability to have common children. But modern medicine has learned to cope with this.
Under the crust of the brain, we have written that only peers can enter into marriage. Therefore, when we see a couple of different ages, it seems unnatural and surprising. There are families where a man is 10, 20, or even 30 years older than a woman, and there are not so few of them.
Let's try to understand where these exceptions come from. Let's start with female psychology.
Women are divided into three groups according to their behavior in marriage:
- "Wife" is the most common type of woman in a marriage. Such women, as a rule, marry their peers. In marriage, they behave as equal partners.
- "Mother". Such a woman in marriage often has a leading position. The spouse in such a marriage plays a less significant role. A mother woman often takes care of, decides, manages. In such families, it is not uncommon for the man to be younger than the woman.
- "Daughter". A woman-daughter chooses a person much more experienced and, accordingly, older than herself as her life partner. The reason is the need for guardianship, protection and patronage.
Man 10 years older
A woman by nature develops faster. And it turns out that peers do not meet either the psychological or intellectual needs of girls.
Therefore, they like men who are much older. Twenty-year-old girls are interested in thirty-year-old young men. Reach out to them for experience, intelligence, maturity.
Such a couple can hardly be called peers, but still they are both representatives of the same generation. They have common music, cinema and heroes. In this pair, the man is a more experienced partner, he knows a lot and much better.
Such couples are not uncommon in society and are not surprising. In the traditions of the past, the age difference of 10 years was considered a reference.
Man older than 20 years
Such a man will be chosen as a husband by a woman who is largely in need of protection, support, patronage.
Definitely, this is a woman-daughter, who in adulthood still feels like a child, weak and defenseless. Perhaps the feeling of insecurity was born in childhood, especially if there was no father in the family. The "little girl" is implicitly looking for this strong image in a man - the image of a father. Therefore, a man 15, 20, or even 30 years older will attract her.
Common factors for choosing a relationship with an older man
- Personal and financial viability.
A man at the age of forty or more already has financial well-being, successful career and material well-being. With such a man, it is initially comfortable to start a family life. A woman is aware that a wealthy serious adult man can fully guarantee a stable, serious marriage in which children can be safely planned.
- Readiness for marriage, maturity.
A man older than 15 years or more attracts with his serious attitude to life and marriage. He appreciates family comfort and all the preferences of the family as such. Such men are wiser, they have previous experience of personal relationships. They are capable of compromise.
- The ability to take good care of.
If a man is much older, he is more experienced in dealing with women. He knows how to make something pleasant, what gifts and flowers to give.
- High social status.
There are still cases when women choose a husband much older than themselves, focusing on his professional and life success. For example, young actresses marry older venerable directors. Nurses are for famous surgeons, and so on.
Here the image of the spouse is idealized in connection with his high objective assessment. A man as a luminary of science or art is attractive precisely for this. A person who has earned the honor and respect of a huge number of people causes respect and interest. The authority of such a husband for his wife is enormous. As well as admiration for his professional skills.
Relations with an older man promise a young woman help in her own career or creativity.
- Feeling of security
Marrying an older man, a woman feels under guardianship and patronage. Almost 100% leader in such an alliance will be a man. It will have decision-making and leadership roles. This is very appealing to pronounced "daughter" type women who are afraid to be decisive and adults.
There are significant disadvantages of marriages where the husband is older than the wife
- Difference of interest
One of the main problems is the obvious gap in interests. This is due to the fact that if a man is 13 years older, the husband and wife are people of different generations. Each of them grew up on different music, different fairy tales, read different literature. In adulthood, they form a different social circle according to their age.
At the initial stage of family relations, this is imperceptible. The couple are passionate about their passion. A few years later, when the first veil of love passes, these problems appear in almost every family of different ages. They become difficult and bored with each other.
- Physiological (sexual) problems
If at the age of 20 a wife quite normally perceives a difference with her husband of 20 or more years, then after 10 years this difference can turn into a problem.
A 30-year-old woman at the peak of her physical form and a 50-year-old man in the process of sexual withering: how can they be fully together? The sexual appetites of a young woman and the desire for peace in a 50-year-old husband create conflicts in the family.
- Different energy
This is directly related to age. The young partner longs for development, growth, movement, while the other is already tired of the life race and, on the contrary, is looking for a safe haven and peace.
It turns out that by the age of forty the young wife has built a successful career, full of energy and positive, and her elderly husband is already a pensioner who prefers a sofa and a book. The different rhythm of two people is a threat to such a marriage.
It’s good if an adult spouse turns out to be an active and active young wife. In this case, the marriage will be strong.
- Premature aging
It has been noticed that a young wife next to her older husband becomes older purely visually and internally. They seem to change energy. She gives him youth, and he gives her maturity. A young wife with an adult husband becomes calmer, more leisurely, more sedate.
- Jealousy
In such relationships, there is almost always a place for jealousy. The unequal positions of both lead to the emergence of distrust, neurosis. An elderly spouse may be jealous of a young spouse, realistically assessing his and her sexual needs.
- Unequal marriage. Rejection of relationships by relatives, friends and society as a whole.
The family of a young girl will dissuade from such a marriage, stressing the ever-increasing age difference over time. Friends of an adult man will suspect the young wife of self-interest.
- man's past
Another disadvantage in a relationship with an adult man is his past. As a rule, behind the shoulders of a man is an unsuccessful marriage and, possibly, children. These relationships will not disappear without a trace from his life. The young wife will have to come to terms with the fact that in their family life the ex-wife and children from a previous marriage will constantly pop up. And it's a heavy load.
To create normal intra-family relations, a young wife will need a large share of wisdom, tact and patience.
Why do men marry young women?
- Increasing self-esteem in one's own eyes and in the eyes of society.
A man who has got a woman much younger than himself as his wife thus proves his worth in many areas of life, for example, in sex, in social status. A young wife nearby is proof of a man's success.
- Opportunity to deceive age, become younger.
With a young wife, a man feels much younger. He begins to take care of his health and appearance to match the wife. He has an influx of energy and positive.
- Raising an Ideal Wife.
An adult man already has, as a rule, the experience of family life and divorce. His attitude towards the female sex was formed under the yoke of negative personal experience where the woman acted as an irritant and a source of problems. In this regard, the man is pessimistic about his peers, considering them already formed personalities, with whom it is not easy to find mutual language and build good relationships.
With a young girl, everything is much easier. The character is not fully formed, the young diva looks at an experienced man with undisguised delight and admiration. In such a pair, a man feels more confident and stronger. He plays a leading role. He patronizes, patronizes, manages, teaches.
Still, many men, marrying a young girl, idealize the upcoming marriage and see in their spouse only a kind, caring hostess who will constantly bother at the family nest.
Sometimes such men find it difficult to see in their wife a mature adult who needs a career and her own separate life.
Having described all the pros and cons of a relationship with an older man, it should be noted that there are a lot of examples around us where a man is much older than his wife.
Here are some of the famous couples:
- Lydia Tsirgvava and singer Alexander Vertinsky. The age difference is 34 years. In marriage, 2 daughters were born and raised: beautiful actresses Marianna and Anastasia Vertinsky.
- Director Oleg Tabakov and actress Marina Zudina. The age difference is 30 years. Married for over 20 years, two children: Maria and Pavel.
- Director Andrei Konchalovsky and actress, TV presenter Yulia Vysotskaya. The age difference is 36 years. Together for over 20 years. Two children were born in the marriage: Mary and Peter.
- Hollywood actors Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones. The age difference is 25 years. They have two children: 12-year-old Carey and 15-year-old Dylan. Together for over 15 years.
- Fashion designer Roberto Cavalli and model Lina Nilson. The age difference is 47 years. Together for over 6 years.
- Directed by Woody Allen and Sun-Yi-Previn. Age difference -35 years! The couple have been happily together for many years and have 2 children.
- Singer Alexander Gradsky and Marina Kotashenko. The age difference is 32 years. Together for 12 years, and last year the couple had a son, Alexander.
All of the above couples have proven their love over time.
And how many examples of new unions, where husbands are suitable for their wives as fathers, and even as grandfathers. Only time will tell how strong such an amazing relationship turned out to be:
- Armen Dzhigarkhanyan and Vitalina Tsymbalyuk-Romanovskaya (age difference - 45 years)
- Ivan Krasko and Natalya Shevel (age difference - 60 years)
- Bari Alibasov and Victoria Maksimova (age difference - 40 years)
Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin wrote back in the 19th century: “All ages are submissive to love…”. Ages succeed each other, but love remains. Only mutual respect, tact and wisdom will help to keep this feeling for years.
And the age difference is just a number. Let them remain them, on paper!
The tradition of marrying a girl to a man who is much older than her dates back several centuries. It was then believed that a large age difference would indicate a long and strong marriage, and a woman, thanks to her older husband, would feel like behind a stone wall. But times are changing. Increasingly, you can meet a couple where not a man is older, but a woman. Last time I touched on the negative aspects of relationships in which the woman is older. But there are many good things that I did not mention ...
What positive features has a union in which the girl is older?
The presence of a young man, of course, will encourage a woman to take better care of herself, choose stylish clothes and shoes for herself, do anti-aging procedures, give up bad habits, and play sports. Any woman understands that a young man needs to match, otherwise he can easily be taken away. A man, in turn, will strive to look his best, because next to beautiful girl he needs to look good.
Paired with a more mature woman, it is easier for a man to realize himself in life, since his chosen one has more life experience, she is more serious and in many respects more perspicacious than him. The female sex begins to mature psychologically earlier than the male, because in order to continue the human race, nature endowed women with mental invulnerability and moral stability. Only next to a strong woman does a young man become truly courageous. A woman is able to give advice, warn her partner against mistakes and wrong steps due to her greater life experience. She will be able to warn the relationship from unnecessary scandals.
No matter how strange it may sound, a man is subconsciously tuned to a relationship with a more mature woman. Remember, from childhood, a man is brought up by women: mother, grandmothers, aunts, sisters; later it is nannies and caregivers in kindergarten and teachers at the school. Therefore, build relationships with grown woman it will be much easier for him.
As a rule, only over the years does an understanding of their true destiny come to women. In their youth, many girls like to live in an atmosphere of idleness and entertainment, but with age they gravitate more and more towards family life. An older woman better monitors the cleanliness and aesthetic beauty of the home, she is more skilled in the culinary field and more responsible in the process of planning and raising children. Over the years, the girl becomes more feminine. She will be able to organize for the young man the much-needed comfort and coziness. Namely, because of the absence of the latter, young couples break up.
Star couples where the woman is older:
A couple where the girl is older expects the highest sexual compatibility. Sexologists have long noted that the peak of female sexuality occurs at about 27-30 years old, and male - at 21-23. His energy and ability to regenerate quickly match perfectly with her experience. Thus, both partners will be able to regularly receive maximum sexual satisfaction.
And at the end of this big topic, I would like to turn to couples where the partner is older:
1. Pay no attention to public opinion. When a man is younger than a woman - this is a common occurrence in our time. Do not think about how your friends and relatives will react. The main thing is that you love and are loved and it is good for you to be together.
2. Teach each other. The age difference is only to the benefit of both parties. You can give your young partner life experience, with you he will have more chances to achieve high results in his career. And he, in turn, will energize you and introduce you to new trends. modern world which you cannot learn from an older man.
3. Don't be jealous of your young partner. Jealousy arises from self-doubt. When a man is younger than a woman, there is room for constant suspicion. However, he chose you, which means that he needs you and only you. But at the same time, do not give him complete freedom, go to various events together.
4. Feel the lightness of the relationship. If a man is younger, he is not inclined to reproach you, instruct and limit your actions. He has a simpler attitude towards life, so you will have more fun. In addition, you will feel more confident and perfect next to a young man.
5. Don't be afraid to build serious relationship. According to statistics, 53% of marriages in which the husband and wife are the same age break up after 2-3 years. The average duration of marriages where the man is younger than the woman is 12-16 years. But many couples live together for 20 and 25 years.
6. Enjoy your sexual relations. Youth and experience combined will bring you many pleasant moments.
Many unions in which the girl is older young man, lead to a wedding and a long, happy family relationship. Cast aside all doubts and love your soul mate, even if she is much younger or older than you. Do not pay attention to other people's opinions, as this is your life, and you must live it the way you want it.
I don't want to console you or vice versa, about I'll tell you a hundred about my communication with such a family - these are our best friends. They have been living together for 30 years, the husband is 51, the wife is 63. They have no joint children, I think everything was there, like you have: she is his first woman. But she has a daughter from her first marriage, whom he raised, since when they got married, her daughter was 2 years old. This is an absolutely amazing couple with their own world and tender relationships. Moreover, the husband has a fairly high status in the medical world, where, as you know, there are a lot of women, but this does not touch him in any way, I even remember that he was indignant last year about how to visit him at the New Year's Frokosta - there is such a crazy, purely Danish evening, before their Christmas, where all employees are required to be and various indecent things often happen, but this is not the topic at all, and so, our friend indignantly told how one of his employees, a new one, approached him and began to ask him about his family life. And his wife did not share his indignation and said that she could talk to the girl ...
But I know that she is worried about her wrinkles, tightens her eyelids, sits on the strictest diet, where she even counts the number of glasses of water drunk per day ... And she is very afraid of becoming unnecessary to him, right now, for the first time in 30 thought about it for years. But now they have common grandchildren who fully load their leisure time and travel.
Another brother from this family was even more interesting, but I'll tell you about it tomorrow, but for today I bow out to everyone good night))
"Father had three sons: the eldest was a smart kid, the middle one was - this way and that, the youngest was a fool at all".
It's exactly like the old fairy tale, but in the family of our friends, the sister also "got in." I'll keep quiet about it until the appropriate topic))
So, I talked about the elder. About the average:
At first I heard about him, about two years, but what I heard was impressive: at the age of 18, he married a woman 20 years older and lived with her for about 25 years, she was very ill in recent years, but he was with her until her last breath.
When she died, he sawed his and her wedding rings and twisted one ring from two halves, made it himself, so at first it was painful to wear, the finger bled, then everything healed - the ring is now on it, I saw. According to the stories of my friend, the late wife idolized Henrik during her lifetime, she supported him in all his undertakings, supported him until she completed her education and began to earn money herself, and there were no questions about who pays more for what, there was love - like a song, like one breath.
After the death of his wife, Henrik shut himself up in anguish and grief, all attempts by our friends to introduce him, "to bring him together" ended in failure, he played the organ (in this family, all children play instruments, which is very common in Denmark) in the church, they "nailed" him ” various parishioners, rich and aged, but none fit. He spent his time at work, in church and at home playing the piano...
After such stories, I imagined a weak-minded uncle, with the appearance of a holy fool from the opera "Boris Godunov", and when we met for the first time, at one of the concerts, where our friends are great walkers, and not alone, but usually with us and with brothers - sister our friend.
So, I was introduced to a handsome man in the spirit of Alain Delon in his best film for me, The Black Tulip, and this was the inconsolable widower. He works as the chief analyst of one of the largest Danish economic firms, is successful and moneyed, and the brides are behind him. But he, after several inconsolable years of widowhood, managed to choose from a huge variety of ladies exactly the one who turned out to be a poor girl deprived of upbringing, all her childhood squandered between her mother's husbands and father's wives. She seemed to be waiting for our Henrik to pour out all her negativity on him. the world. She is 10 years younger than him.
At first, Henrik invited Ida, that is the name of the girl, to Prague for New Year, but she went on a hiking trip in winter Norway, and our friends went on trips.
But Henrik went through a good school of family life and nevertheless achieved a girl: I remember, it was 2 years ago, we were together in Rome. We were pulling juices or water on a hot afternoon in a street cafe, when all the shops in Rome close for a siesta, a weeping Ida came up to us and murmured that she was not served in the store with a gold credit card that Henrik gave her, but threatened to call the police that she stole it. Henrik silently put down the glass, took her by the hand and walked with leaps and bounds towards the store, the girl walked with him on a par, so she is a real daughter of the Vikings - 180 cm tall, and everything else corresponds, except nervous system.
In general, we danced around the museums and dungeons of Rome, and Ida and Henrik danced around the shops. Ida every day, when we gathered at the fountain in the center of the Transtevere district, where we lived, appeared in new stunning new clothes that barely fit on her large body, but her eyes burned with such adoration for Henrik that we all smiled ....
The story is not over yet. Ida wanted to get married and have children - her dispersal was cooled by Henrik. He said that they would live together, but, here, children and so on .... Ida was offended for a month, then returned to Henrik again.
Now the “war” has begun for the alteration of the house, which was the museum of the deceased wife, where every little thing lay in its place, how else did she put everything ...
Henrik reluctantly agreed to the alteration of the house. We began to meet much less often - Ida stubbornly "led" Henrik away from his usual and beloved life with classical concerts, leisurely conversations over a glass of wine after concerts, discussing the shortcomings and merits of various performers, playing styles and interpretations of works. Ida occasionally called and enthusiastically told what furniture Henrik bought for the bedroom, what stove she ordered for the kitchen. The situation escalated...
But the apotheosis of the war for influence over Henrik came when one of the two Persian cats, favorites of his late wife, began to hate Ida - she now took her place next to their precious Henrik.
Hamlet (that's the name of the cat) rushed at her with a hiss, as soon as she crossed the threshold of the apartment. He tore apart her new clothes with his claws, as if deliberately choosing those that were more expensive ...
Ida said:
- Or me, or cats.
Well, it's not hard to guess that Henrik chose cats...
This is how they live: both are preoccupied with their careers, sometimes they meet, Ida does not want to become a member of this family, as she is wayward and clearly knows what she needs in this life. But she also cannot find someone else, for all her bright catchy appearance, since Henrik gave her exactly that family warmth and strength of stability, which she was deprived of all her childhood ...
And these brothers still have a mother, stepfather and father ... But this is the next, very unusual story.))
