For some time after the death of a loved one, one should avoid saying their name aloud.
Relatives should not carry the deceased.
Before lowering the coffin into the grave, you need to throw a coin there (farming from the coffin) - this is the first thing that close blood relatives do, and then the earth is thrown.
If there is a dead person in the apartment, sharp metal objects (knives, needles, nails, blades, axes, etc.) must not be used before the funeral and kept in an open place.
While the deceased is in the house, a cup (a new white saucer) of water should be placed on the windowsill (for "washing the soul"). After the removal of the body, the bowl (glass) must be taken out of the house, the water should be poured out, the glass should be thrown into the river.
If the deceased is in the house, you can’t clean up and take out the garbage, otherwise the rest may die.
When the lid of the coffin is being clogged, care must be taken to ensure that the shadow of a living person does not "fall into the coffin." Similarly, care must be taken that the shadows of those present do not fall into the grave before lowering the coffin.
At the funeral, you need to make sure that there are no knots and rings on the deceased; buttons must be undone.
Do not forget to untie the deceased, otherwise someone else will die soon! If, by chance, the deceased was not untied, his relatives need to put scissors in someone's coffin as soon as possible. (how to do this if, after reading everything, they guard the coffin of the deceased like a chest with belongings, and it’s not even an hour they will be stoned thinking that witchcraft is being repaired, hmm ...)
Until the 9th day, it is necessary to wash and iron all his things, carefully fold them - how to cook everything. None of the things of the deceased are given away until the 40th day, no rearrangements are made in the house, etc.
It is necessary that relatives in the house do not stay overnight alone for 9 days. It is necessary that friends and relatives live this time. thus, the soul, staying at home for 9 days, calmed down that loved ones were not abandoned and he had someone to leave them to.
Things in which the deceased is buried should be new, if not possible, then clean, freshly laundered, without traces of blood and dirt, carefully ironed. Buried in seasonal clothing. That is, in the winter to one shirt - they don’t bury! Shoes are very important point. you need to buy soft, comfortable and, if possible, beautiful slippers. necessarily with a back (not flip-flops).
If a very young, fashionable person died, they bury them in comfortable soft shoes, women - always in soft shoes without heels, but then - all the same, these slippers are put into the coffin! The coffin must be cramped by all standards.
By the way, many, buying a place in the cemetery, try to grab a larger plot - this cannot be done. The site should be small, cramped - only the most necessary.
If the deceased is baptized, it is necessary to sing him in the church. It is better to buy new icons, placed on the chest during the funeral service.
Up to 40 days, nothing is given from the deceased's house - no chairs, no dishes, or anything else. They don't lend money either.
Even if the deceased was in the morgue, they bring him to the house before the funeral service and stop there for some time.
As soon as the car with the coffin drives off, the floor in the house must be thoroughly washed. Blood relatives cannot do this!
If you go to a funeral, take everything you bought for this occasion from home. Let's say they bought flowers - everything needs to be taken away (if a part is broken, damaged, etc., you can’t leave it - everything must be taken out.
Also, on the way, you can’t go into anyone’s house, and even more so from this house to ask for something (water for flowers, etc.). If they come to you with such a request, always refuse.
Everyone probably knows about the fact that they don’t go ahead of the coffin and you can’t even overtake funeral cars ...
Flowers scattered on the road of the deceased - do not pick up and do not store.
The cemetery is ALWAYS entered only through the gate, and the body is brought through the gate. Back - you can through the gate. The dead also do not go forward.
And at the funeral, relatives need to carefully monitor next to the coffin. But a lot of things are done at funerals. Make sure that nothing is placed in the coffin and nothing is taken from the coffin. (just talked about scissors) Leaving the funeral service, it is imperative to say goodbye to the deceased.
Touch his legs and arms. If something repels you, do not kiss him on the whisk. Hypocrisy is unacceptable here. After saying goodbye, they leave the coffin and leave the church without turning around. If there are suspicions or fears, having approached at parting, you need to hold on to your shoes and say to yourself - goodbye! we will come to you, but you do not go to us!
By the way, if the deceased did not see well in life, they put glasses with him, if he limped - a cane, etc.
If the deceased was married, they are not buried in a wedding ring. And it is better to bury without jewelry.
It is better to nail up the coffin in the temple, sprinkled with consecrated earth.
Relatives before lowering the coffin, it is better to silently ask for forgiveness from the "neighbors" that disturbed the earth, their peace!
Live flowers are removed from the coffin before nailing.
Icons are not buried, they must be removed from the coffin before the lid is clogged, they are taken to the temple and left there
You can’t have fun in the cemetery, laughing is a very bad omen. This is one of the reasons not to bring children with you!
Pregnant women are also not allowed to visit the cemetery - only until the funeral service.
When burying a dead person, they don’t drink at the cemetery.
After the funeral itself, you must definitely go in and commemorate the deceased.
At the commemoration should be present: kutya (rice with raisins) - it must be eaten. You need to put a little, because you can not leave half-eaten.
Compote or jelly (better), bread, something fish, hot - soup. It's good when pancakes are baked.
Commemorations are not satisfied in restaurants and pompously (whatever the status of the deceased). Traditionally, they get drunk. You can't do this! This is an insult to the dead. Moreover, there is a sign - who gets drunk drunk at a wake - there will be incurable alcoholics in the family! It is also a bad omen if the commemoration turns into fun and a farce. Relatives must take care of everything.
Handkerchiefs are distributed to all those present, the extra ones can be distributed in the yard to everyone.
At the wake, they always put a glass of water and bread. Now they often pour vodka, but this is wrong. After remembering the house, they also pour a glass of water (buy a new one), cover it with bread and pour a little salt into a small bowl. All this costs 40 days. It is necessary to remove all this so that no one spills or spills it, otherwise it's a disaster. So, be careful with kids.
They also commemorate on the 9th and 40th day.
After the funeral, they gather early the next day at a fresh grave. It is believed that the deceased is waiting for everyone.
Drinking at the cemetery in general (alcoholic drinks) is very bad, try to convince everyone to use jelly, compote. It is good to burn candles on the grave and leave food for people and animals.
Every time you leave the cemetery, you don't look back. You can say about yourself - We will come to you, but you don’t go to us!
Consider wishes - many elderly people prepare mortals in advance - it is better to fulfill their will.
About monuments. Now it is fashionable to install large, heavy monuments - this is also undesirable. Many of the dead can then complain in a dream that it is very difficult to lie down - the monument crushes, suffocates. That is, it is better not to overdo it.
After 40 days, at least some of the things of the deceased are given to friends, acquaintances - as a keepsake. It is undesirable to sell these things.
It is good to order a commemoration for several years at once in different churches.
Still - you can not visit a young grave very often.
It is very good to remember alms - a trifle and food. (it’s bad when alms are perceived as a handout of trifles, detachable) If the deceased is not buried, then this is the only way to remember him.
The widow must burn her mourning handkerchief on the 40th day if she does not expect to be left alone in the future. Often this scarf is begged for - it has power.
There have long been traditions that determine what can and cannot be done within a year after the death of a loved one. Some are already outdated, and some customs still live today. You need to know about this...
1:889 1:898■ For the first seven days after a person's death, do not take anything out of the house.
■ On the 9th day after death, relatives go to the temple, order a memorial service, and lay a second memorial table at home. The family of the deceased did not sit at the first memorial table.
Now, on the contrary: a family and nine more people sat down at the table (three who washed the deceased, three who made the coffin, three who dug a hole). In modern conditions, the number of guests may vary, because there are various public services that provide the necessary funeral services: the deceased is dressed in the mortuary, the coffin can be bought at the ritual supplies store, the grave can also be prepared in advance. Therefore, there may be 3 - 6 - 9 invitees, or there may be no one.
■ On the 40th day after a person's death, a third commemoration table is arranged - "Sarakavitsy", which is attended by the family of the deceased, relatives, relatives, friends, work colleagues. In the church I order Sorokoust - forty liturgies.
■ From the day of the funeral until the 40th day, remembering the name of the deceased, we must pronounce the verbal charm formula for ourselves and all the living. At the same time, the same words are a symbolic wish for the deceased: "Earth rest in peace", thereby expressing wishes that his soul would be in paradise.
■ After the 40th day and over the next three years, we will say a different wish formula: "God rest his soul." Thus, we wish the deceased an afterlife in paradise. These words should be addressed to any deceased, regardless of the circumstances of his life and death. At the same time, they are guided by the biblical commandment "Judge not, lest you be judged."
■ During the year following the death of a person, none of the family members has the moral right to take part in any festive celebration.
■ None of the family members of the deceased (including the second degree of kinship) could marry or get married during the period of mourning.
■ If a relative of the 1st or 2nd degree of kinship has died in the family and a year has not yet passed after his death, then such a family does not have the right to paint eggs red for Easter (they must be white or any other color - blue, black , green) and, accordingly, take part in the celebrations of Easter night.
■ After the death of her husband, the wife is forbidden to wash anything for a year on the day of the week on which the trouble happened.
■ For a year after death, everything in the house where the deceased lived remains in a state of rest or permanence: repairs cannot be made, furniture rearranged, nothing is given or sold from the deceased's things until the soul of the deceased reaches eternal rest.
■ During this year and all subsequent years, you can go to the cemetery only on Saturdays (except for 9, 40 days after death and church holidays of honoring ancestors, such as Radunitsa or Autumn Grandfathers). These are the days of commemoration of the dead recognized by the church. Try to convince your relatives that you should not constantly come to the grave of the deceased, thereby harming their health.
■ Whichever way you come to the cemetery, go back the same way.
■ Visit the cemetery before 12 noon.
■ Days of special commemoration of the dead during the year:
Meatfare Saturday - Saturday in the ninth week before Easter;
Ecumenical Parental Saturday - Saturday in the second week of Great Lent;
Ecumenical Parental Saturday - Saturday in the third week of Great Lent;
Ecumenical Parental Saturday - Saturday in the fourth week of Great Lent;
Radunitsa - Tuesday in the second week after Easter;
Trinity Saturday - Saturday in the seventh week after Easter;
Dmitrievskaya Saturday - Saturday in the third week after the Intercession (14.10).
■ Exactly one year after death, the family of the deceased celebrates memorial meal(“please”) - the 4th, final memorial family and generic table. It must be remembered that the living cannot be congratulated on their birthday in advance, and the final memorial table should be arranged either exactly one year later, or 1-3 days earlier.
■ On this day, you need to go to the temple and order a memorial service for the deceased, go to the cemetery - visit the grave.
■ As soon as the last memorial meal is over, the family is again included in the traditional scheme of festive regulations of the folk calendar, becomes a full member of the community, has the right to take part in any tribal celebrations, including weddings.
■ A monument can be erected on a grave only one year after the person's death. Moreover, it is necessary to remember the golden rule of folk culture: "Do not graze the land with pasture Pakravou and Radaunshchy." This means that if the year of the deceased fell at the end of October, i.e. after the Intercession (and for the entire subsequent period up to Radunitsa), then the monument can only be erected in the spring, after Radunitsa.
■ After the erection of the monument, the cross (usually wooden) is placed next to the grave for another year, and then thrown away. It can also be buried under a flower garden or under a gravestone.
■ Marrying (marrying) after the death of one of the spouses is possible only after a year. If a woman married a second time, then the new husband became the full owner-owner only after seven years.
■ If the spouses were married, then after the death of the husband, his wife took his ring, and if she did not marry again, then both wedding rings were placed in her coffin.
■ If the husband buried his wife, then her wedding ring remained with him, and after his death, both rings were placed in his coffin so that, having met in the Kingdom of Heaven, they would say: “I brought our rings, with which the Lord God crowned us.
■ For three years, celebrate the birthday of the deceased and the day of his death. After this period, only the day of death and all annual church holidays of commemoration of ancestors are celebrated.
■ Not all of us know how to pray, much less know how to pray for the dead. Learn a few prayers that may help you find peace in your soul after an irreparable loss.
Funeral is an inevitable ritual that awaits any person at the end of his life path. When loved ones leave, it's hard. In addition to the tragedy, the farewell to the deceased in last way full of mysticism and superstition, because it was at this time that the other world was close to the world of living people. And it's not always safe. To avoid unpleasant consequences, it is worth observing a number of simple signs at a funeral.
The traditions and customs of burials followed strict regulations, without which the funeral could not take place. Signs, or rather, their origin, come from ancient beliefs followed by the ancestors of the Slavs. Among them are the following, the most common:
- Always take into account the weather. If the bright sun shone, then it was believed that during life the deceased was a good man. The pouring rain during the burial did not speak of the most best qualities deceased.
- Special care was given to pregnant women. Girls in position were removed from the hassle, one way or another connected with the funeral. They were forbidden even to look at the dead man, even more so to be present at the funeral prayers and burial. Only the closest pregnant relative was allowed to come to the funeral, but even then she had to leave the dwelling before the coffin was taken out. Such beliefs are associated with the desire to keep the child in the womb; it was believed that the soul of the deceased can move into the body of a child.
- Little children were treated with the same trepidation. Toddlers were also forbidden from attending the burial ceremony. There was close attention to them until the completion of all funeral rituals. And there is a rational grain in this, because the child, effortlessly, could drink the water of the deceased or put something in the coffin. Even worse - he could take from the coffin a thing that belonged to the dead man. Any of the above could provoke a chain of subsequent deaths or serious illnesses. That is why the behavior of the younger members of the family was controlled with such care.
- It was considered obligatory to mourn. Traditionally mourning was observed for one year. During this time, family members of the deceased are prohibited from marrying. And one of the worst signs was the funeral on the eve of the wedding. In this case, the wedding should have been abandoned or rescheduled for another time.
- Since ancient times, people sacredly believed in the power of the church holiday. There is a good omen: if a person introduced himself or was buried on the day of religious celebrations, then he automatically found himself in paradise.
Signs, traditions and superstitions are widespread in modern world. They are based on centuries-old observations of people.
Signs of imminent death
Relatives of the deceased should pay attention to those harbingers of a person’s death that may appear during the funeral ceremony. After all, sometimes wrong behavior can lead to the fact that after the deceased, another string of people will be pulled into the next world. About it can testify the following signs about the funeral:
All signs warn relatives and other people against putting their photographs or things as a keepsake in the coffin of the deceased. Such stupidity can send an unlucky family member or friend after the deceased before the appointed time. The situation is similar with dressing the deceased in his personal clothes. Having said goodbye to the deceased, you need to touch his shoes and mentally say goodbye, asking at the same time not to come for them. You should leave the coffin without looking back.
The value of funerary paraphernalia
For an ordinary person, the funeral procedure is a tragic moment of farewell to a loved one. For people close to the world black magic, this is nothing more than an opportunity to solve your own or someone else's problems of a magical nature. A lot of signs are associated with the fear of the negative impact of a witch or sorcerer. Relatives did everything so that the black magicians did not take possession of the attributes of the funeral ceremony. These items included:
These items are used by sorcerers and witches to inflict deadly damage. Therefore, it is customary to pour water from under the deceased into a pre-dug hole as far as possible from the house. All things used in washing and preparing the deceased were usually placed in the coffin. It was also customary not to leave the dead alone in the house. This was explained by the fact that the witch, at such an opportunity, would definitely make a lining in the coffin - a photo of the alleged victim or something belonging to her. This is nothing more than damage to death. Therefore, strangers were not allowed to approach the deceased at the cemetery, especially if they behaved suspiciously.
The strange behavior could be the following:
- desire to lie on the bed of the dead;
- a person tries to go behind the coffin forward with his back;
- weaving knots on a cord, rope or rag at the moment when the deceased is carried out;
- placing needles crosswise along the lips of the deceased.
Modern people are skeptical about the possibility of harm from adherents of black magic, especially with the help of certain objects. But there are too many cases that directly confirm the effect of evil spells. One of the most popular ways to get rid of a person is to put a photo with him in a coffin, or even better in the mouth of the deceased. And this is just one of many methods of inducing damage. Regardless of the mountain, you need to carefully watch what is happening around. Anyone can do bad things.
There are mostly bad omens associated with the dead. And here the reason is not only the fear of death - there are fears of the deceased. After all, until recently he was alive, and now he has moved to another world. Following all the signs and traditions should ensure an honorable and comfortable farewell to the deceased.
Activities after the funeral
After the funeral ceremony, the farewell does not end yet - the funeral is followed by a memorial dinner. Nine days later, loved ones and relatives again gather in the house of the deceased to remember his life and himself. On the fortieth day, special pastries are baked - ladders (bread buns in the form of a ladder), alms are distributed to the poor, a prayer service is ordered in the temple, thus celebrating the release and transfer of the soul to the Kingdom of Heaven. And during this period, it is important to observe a number of regular signs:
Most of the signs are also associated with many years of experience and observations. There was also a belief that one should not invite to a memorial dinner those people who behave suspiciously or cause unpleasant feelings. It is possible that these people did not come with the best intentions.
Between heaven and earth
What happens to a dying person? What does a bedridden patient feel on the verge of death? Most often, in addition to pain, it is the torment of the soul. In the mind, an understanding of what is to be passed is born. The body undergoes physical changes and this does not pass by consciousness. Emotions change, psychological and mental balance is shaken. People withdraw into themselves or vice versa - they become too excited, they are in a state of psychosis.
Over time, both physical and moral condition worsens. A person feels that he is losing dignity, begins to think more often about his imminent death. It is difficult and impossible to observe this, remaining indifferent and indifferent. You have to put up with the situation and try to alleviate the physical pain with medicines. The closer death is, the more the patient is in a state of sleep, apathy towards everything around is manifested.
Often at the very last moment there is a sudden improvement that the patient is even eager to get out of bed. The active phase is replaced by complete relaxation of the body with an inevitable decrease in the activity of all systems in the body. All important functions fade.
Signs of imminent death
When the end comes life cycle, a sick person increasingly feels tired and weak. This is due to a lack of energy. So he sleeps longer. Sleep can be both a superficial nap and a full-fledged deep rest.
It is given to a dying person to hear, feel, see and perceive sounds and things that do not exist in reality. Do not deny it, because you can upset the patient. Possible confusion of speech and consciousness, loss of orientation. Increasingly, a person withdraws into himself, he is not interested in what is happening around him.
There are also noticeable changes in terms of the work of the organs. The kidneys stop working and therefore the urine darkens to brown, swelling appears. Breathing becomes more frequent, intermittent, unstable. Venous spots may appear under the skin - this is the result of a violation of blood circulation. The spots may change location. Initially, they can be seen on the feet. Before death, the limbs become cold, because the blood from them is sent to more important organs for life.
Way up
Most seriously ill people go to another world quietly: in a dream, in a coma, losing consciousness. They also talk about such people - they left along the usual road. Another situation is when death is preceded by attacks of agony. The patient's condition is accompanied by psychoses, excessive excitement, restless behavior, loss of orientation in space, change of day and night.
Such states can be complicated by feelings of fear, anxiety, the need to go or run somewhere. May be accompanied by speech anxiety, often with a lack of logic and awareness in words. In such cases, a sick person can fulfill only simple requests, not fully understanding what he is doing and why. These phenomena can be prevented if they are immediately identified and treated appropriately.
Signs after the funeral and during them have been observed for more than one hundred years. It is believed that a neglectful attitude towards them can threaten with unpleasant consequences, up to inflicting damage on oneself.
In the article:
Signs after the funeral, before and during the burial
There are many signs that prescribe to the relatives of the deceased and everyone else who came to see him off on his last journey, how to behave at a funeral, and what not to do. Some of them were lost in the past and have not survived to this day, but many of the signs associated with the funeral are observed to this day.
Failure to comply with most superstitions and signs threatens with serious consequences - from illness to death. The energy of death is very heavy, and it does not forgive mistakes. Therefore, try to remember and observe signs during the funeral.
In the past, everyone knew and observed. Modern people think little about how to properly organize the burial and what to do in general. It is difficult to find a representative of today's youth who would have such knowledge, so older people usually follow what happens during the burial. But this does not mean that you do not need to learn from this experience.
Funeral superstitions - in the home
Even during the existence of numerous ritual offices, a large part of the organizational issues lies with the relatives of the deceased person. There are many points to be taken into account.
The deceased must not be left alone, not only in the house, but even in the room. Someone must always be near the coffin. There are many reasons for this. Items associated with the deceased have a greater magical power. Sometimes they are sought to be stolen by those who need these things for rituals. Care must be taken not to let it fall into bad hands. The church believes that the soul of the deceased needs prayer support, so you need to read the psalms and. Besides, leaving unattended is disrespectful.
There is another reason for this. The eyes of the deceased may open, and the one on whom his gaze falls will soon die. In order to prevent this, there should be someone near the coffin who will close the eyes of the dead if they open.
You may be interested in the article: signs if.
Immediately after death, all mirror surfaces should be hung with an opaque cloth. This is necessary so that the soul of the deceased does not fall into the mirror world instead of the afterlife. For forty days they do not open mirrors, because all this time the spirit is in its native places.
The piece of furniture on which the coffin stood should be turned upside down when it is taken to the cemetery. You can put it back only after a day has passed. If you ignore such a sign, the deceased may return in the form of a spirit. In order to prevent the accumulation of negative energy of death, an ax should be placed in place of the coffin.
Photographs to the deceased are not placed in any case, otherwise those depicted on it will die. So you can damage and kill the enemy from the world. However, this does not apply to photographs of the deceased (for example, the parents of the deceased).
The water used to wash the deceased is poured out in deserted places. So you will not allow it to be used in magic, because such water is not used for good deeds. Everything that was connected with the dead - a comb, soap used for washing, tourniquets, for tying hands and similar things - is placed in the coffin. They use such things only to induce damage.
When the legs of the deceased are warm until the very burial, this is a harbinger of the imminent death of someone living in the house. To avoid this, the dead man should be appeased by putting bread and salt in the coffin.
As long as there is a deceased in the housing, you can’t sweep it away, so you can “sweep out” everyone who lives here in the cemetery. But when they take him away to bury, there should be a person who will sweep and wash the floor in order to drive death out of the house. Tools for such cleaning are immediately taken out of the room and thrown away somewhere, they cannot be stored and used.
Be sure to leave a new handkerchief in the coffin so that the deceased has something to wipe sweat during the trial. Glasses, prostheses and similar things also put inside the coffin - personal items must go to another world with the owner.
If a funeral is taking place near you, and one of your family members is sleeping, be sure to wake it up, because the soul of the deceased can get into a sleeping person. Not all the dead calmly accept that they no longer live, and try to stay in the world of the living. You should especially worry about children and keep them awake during the funeral. And if your child is eating at this time, put water under the cradle.
Dogs and cats are not allowed in the room where the coffin is located. They can disturb his spirit. Jumped into the coffin. Howls and meows frighten the dead.
Near the threshold of the house with the deceased, spruce branches are placed so that relatives and friends who came to honor the memory do not take death to their home.
You can not sleep in a room with the deceased. If this happens, in the morning you need to eat noodles for breakfast.
Only widows wash the dead. Wash and dress in clean clothes before the body cools down. But after such a lesson, you can do a ceremony so that your hands never freeze. To do this, a small fire is lit from the chips and other wooden remains from which the coffin was made, and all participants in the washing warm their hands over it.
Why you can't look through the window at a funeral
If a funeral is taking place near you, you can’t look out the window, otherwise you will follow. There is such a sign, but few people know for sure why it is impossible to look through the window at the funeral. It is believed that for some time the soul of the deceased is next to the body, which, as you know, is in the coffin during the funeral. She feels discomfort from staring through window glass, and even if a good and gentle person is buried in every sense, his spirit can avenge such impoliteness.
It is known how the spirit of the deceased can take revenge - drag it with it to the world of the dead. Old people say that if you look out the window at a funeral or a dead person in general, you can get seriously ill. This disease can be fatal. This belief is especially true for children, whose energy protection is weaker than that of adults. The vengeful spirit will be able to cope with the child much faster.
If a look at the deceased was accidental, which is not at all uncommon, in the old days they immediately looked away and made the sign of the cross three times, and also mentally wished the Kingdom of Heaven to the deceased and prayed for his soul. If you have a desire to look at the funeral procession, you need to go out the door of the apartment or the gate and look from the street. Many have such a desire, and there is nothing wrong with sympathy even to a stranger no.
Bad omens at funerals - on the street and in the cemetery
Under no circumstances should you cross the path of the funeral procession. As a rule, those who do not comply with this rule are in for a serious illness. It's hard to let that happen.
Some believe that if you cross the road of the funeral procession, you can die for the same reasons for which the one who was buried died.
If the grave is dug too large sizes, it can threaten the death of another family member. A similar meaning is attached to the coffin lid forgotten in the house. This should not be allowed.
You can not carry the coffin to relatives. This should be done by friends, colleagues, neighbors or people from the ritual agency - anyone but relatives. Otherwise, the deceased can take them with him. The people who carry the coffin must tie a new towel around their hand.
Have you ever wondered why everyone who came to the funeral throws a handful of earth on the coffin? So that the ghost could not come at night.
Close the lid of the coffin is possible only in the cemetery. If this is done at home, death will come to the family of the deceased and to those who board up the coffin.
When the coffin is carried out, you can’t look into the windows - it doesn’t matter if it’s your own or someone else’s, otherwise you will attract death to this house. In order for none of the relatives of the deceased to die soon, they do not turn back.
You can not go in front of the coffin - this is to death.
If, when digging a grave, they stumble upon what is left of the old one - bones, for example, this portends the deceased good life in the next world and means that his spirit will not disturb the living.
Before the coffin is lowered into the ground, coins are thrown there to buy a place in the next world.
Signs and superstitions at the funeral - after burial
During the commemoration, as a rule, they put a photo of the deceased, and next to it - a glass of vodka (sometimes with water) and a piece of bread. Anyone who drinks this vodka or eats the dead man's bread will fall ill and die. Even animals are not allowed.
After you return from the funeral, be sure to warm your hands with live fire or wash them in hot water. This is how you protect yourself from early death. Many instead touch the stove or light candles to burn whatever they can get at the funeral.
You can’t cry too much for the dead, otherwise he will drown in your tears in the next world.
Every person has favorite places. Leave water there, because the soul is among the living for some time, and from time to time it needs water. Let it stand for forty days, top up from time to time. The relatives of the deceased cannot drink the same amount, and the lamp should also burn.
You should leave the cemetery without looking back. On the way out, wipe your feet.
The image that stood in front of the deceased must be floated on the water. They go to the river and put it on the water to float. You can’t store it, throw it away either, water is the only way to get rid of the icon so that it doesn’t bring trouble. In all other cases, take the icons to the church, they will decide what to do with them.
If extra burial items have been purchased, they are placed in a coffin or left in the cemetery. You can carry it away later if you missed this moment. You can not count the number of wreaths and ribbons for them, but they will remain in the cemetery in any case.
One of the most mysterious and incomprehensible events for mankind is death. About what happens to a person beyond its line, we can only speculate. Fear of the unknown is a natural reaction that forces even the most notorious atheist, albeit to a minimal extent, to adhere to certain rules behavior during, before and after the funeral. The traditions that are observed during this ritual are among the most revered in the world. Not everyone knows how to behave correctly if such a grief happened in the family. We often receive requests for clarification on certain issues. We will try to answer the most popular of them from an ethical and religious point of view.
First, here are the most common funeral superstitions:
Close windows and doors in the house;
Put food, money and things in the coffin (in Lately mobile phones);
Put a pancake on the face of the deceased, and then eat it, believing that the sins of the deceased are destroyed by this;
To believe that a person who returned to the house after the removal of the body and before returning from the cemetery would certainly die soon;
At the commemoration, put a glass of vodka and bread "for the deceased";
Keep this "funeral glass" until the fortieth day;
Pouring vodka on the grave mound;
Before lowering the coffin, throwing metal money into the grave in order to “buy the land”;
Attach metal glasses to the monument for commemoration with vodka;
Kiss your fingers and apply them to the edge of the grave;
Say: "May the earth rest in peace";
Scatter bread crumbs over the grave;
Scatter spruce branches along the road to the cemetery;
To believe that the soul of the deceased can take the form of a bird or a bee;
To believe that if the deceased is not revered, then his soul remains on earth as a ghost;
To believe that a person who accidentally stood between the coffin and the altar during the funeral service will certainly die soon;
To believe that the burial ground, which is given at the funeral service in absentia, cannot be kept at home for more than one day;
To believe that cremation can cause illness in the children or grandchildren of the person being cremated;
Remember only light (white) alcoholic drinks: vodka, if wine, then only white;
For the sake of the soul, be sure to cook only those dishes that the deceased loved;
At the commemoration, there is only spoons (there is “sin” with forks).
The custom of not serving knives and forks to the table at the wake, apparently one of the modern superstitious customs, was born in Soviet canteens, where these cutlery were not accepted and where the wake was held. And only then, out of absence, a "theory" was born: so as not to inject the deceased. It is believed that this "tradition" appeared in the middle of the 19th century among the merchants. People, inflamed by "funeral" alcohol, moved at the table to the question of dividing up the inheritance, and rarer-piercing objects, i.e. fork-knives, led to serious injuries, so it was removed from the use of commemoration.
To believe that if the deceased has a long coffin - to the new dead.
Believe that the deceased hears until the priest says over him: "Eternal memory ...".
Distribute soap at the commemoration - so that the dead person is washed in the next world.
Distribute handkerchiefs to all those present at the wake (it is believed that wiping ourselves with a handkerchief, we remember the deceased).
Cut all the “loops” on the deceased, including the trouser belt, tie collar and lace of the pectoral cross.
To believe that if something falls from the table during the funeral dinner, then picking up the fallen is a sin.
Bury children with girdles, "so that they can collect the fruits of paradise in their bosoms."
After the funeral, do not clean the house for 40 days.
After the funeral, do not turn off the lights in the house for 40 days;
After the funeral, do not sleep on the bed of the deceased for 40 days;
Hang mirrors in the house where there is a dead person;
Can I watch TV after the funeral?
Many people adhere to this rule: as long as the deceased is in the house, it is necessary to cover surfaces that are capable of reflecting something, for example, mirrors, a TV. This superstition has nothing to do with Orthodox beliefs, but refers to paganism. It is believed that after death a person's soul can be drawn into a mirror and unable to get out of there, it will wander forever without finding rest. After the deceased is taken out of the room, the canvases can be removed, but some keep them closed for 9 or even 40 days.
Other sources claim that hanging mirrors is generally a fairly understandable custom. When someone died in the house, the coffin with his body was placed in the largest room. At the coffin of the deceased, the psalter was constantly read, and the worshipers could enter at any time and pray near the coffin. Accordingly, everything in the room was arranged so that everything around was conducive to prayer. Mirrors, book spines, figurines or dishes in a sideboard, vases and other small things distract the eye, and therefore do not contribute to the mood. So they began in the room where the psalter is read, to hide everything extraneous from the eyes with draperies. The Psalter has not been read for a long time, but mirrors are hung in all rooms even up to 40 days. A normal custom that has turned into superstition.
By the way, watching TV after the funeral of the deceased is a separate issue. It's not just the fact that you watch TV that matters, but what you watch. Watching entertainment programs and entertainment films is prohibited. Most often, an interval of 9 days is maintained. In addition, out of respect for the deceased, you should not turn it on at high volume. Watching, for example, the news is not prohibited.
Is it possible to celebrate a birthday after a funeral?
This issue is resolved only by how important the memory and repose of a deceased person is for those who celebrate. The Church does not establish the exact time frame for mourning days, but recommends paying more attention in the first days after the incident to prayers and the commemoration of the deceased.
Ethical norms also do not give contrary recommendations on this issue. Don't have a noisy party. If, nevertheless, there is a desire to somehow celebrate the holiday (especially if the birthday is a child), you can arrange it quietly and in a family way, without loud music and noisy parties. Honoring the memory of a departed loved one is one of the hallmarks of a civilized society.
Can you have sex after a funeral?
The Orthodox Church answers this question in the following way: mourning for a deceased relative is a time when all the attention of relatives should be directed to prayers.
Ethical considerations also recommend showing respect for memory and abandoning this venture. It is quite possible that a person grieving for a loss will simply not be up to such pleasures. Along with this, again, there are no clear time limits for the ban on sex, therefore, as soon as the heart comes to terms with the loss, and the feeling of grief dulls, you can distract yourself in this way. Each person sets the boundaries of what is permitted for himself.
Can you drink after a funeral?
According to church ministers, drinking alcoholic and alcoholic beverages, even if for the purpose of commemorating the deceased, is an unacceptable and even harmful thing for the soul of the commemorated.
In pre-Soviet times, it was not customary to drink at funerals. The main and most beneficial remembrance is prayer. There is no point in alcoholic commemoration. The only thing that needs to be consumed after the funeral during the commemoration is kutya. Everything else is not necessary.
As you know, alcohol is an enemy not only to spiritual health and bodily health, but also to common sense. Often, during the funeral ceremony, due to the fault of extra degrees, disputes begin, and sometimes fights between guests, which, for ethical reasons, is completely inappropriate at such an event.
Is it possible to listen to music after the funeral?
This question is often asked by people who are experiencing the loss of a loved one. Here, as with watching TV, everything depends not on the fact of listening to music, but on the nature of listening and semantic content.
Anything that can be called entertainment music during mourning is best excluded. It is allowed to listen to peaceful calm (best of all classical) music. You don't have to turn it on loud either.
It is also often practiced to listen to the favorite compositions of a deceased person. For ethical reasons, this is also a kind of tribute to memory. A mourning band often plays at funerals. These are rather echoes of the Soviet era. It is most correct from the point of view of religion to sing and listen to prayer chants.
Is it possible to have a wedding right after the funeral?
There are also cases when a loved one leaves his family forever at the moment when she is preparing to marry or marry one of her representatives. Most often, pre-wedding chores entail spending big money and for purely rational reasons, the wedding is not canceled, but at the celebration itself they mention the death of a loved one and pay tribute to his memory. There is nothing reprehensible in this, it all depends on the emotional state of the spouses.
Orthodox tradition allows weddings even before the onset of 40 days. If we touch on the topic of a secular wedding, this is a worldly event, and like all others, it can be equated with entertainment events. You can celebrate the wedding, but without any frills. Or move it at least for the time frame of 9 days.
Can I go on vacation after the funeral?
There is no travel ban after the funeral. On the contrary, if a person who has lost a loved one suffers greatly about this, the trip will be able to distract him from mourning thoughts and direct him in the right direction. Plus, every vacation is different.
Everything that has to do with entertainment events (going to discos, bars, entertainment concerts) should be canceled.
From the point of view of Orthodoxy, vacation is also not a form of disrespectful behavior towards the deceased. It is important not to forget to behave appropriately and remember the departed person with a prayer and a kind word.
Is it possible to make repairs after the funeral?
Signs that do not belong to Orthodoxy say that repairs in the house where the deceased lived cannot be done within 40 days. You can not make any changes to the interior. In addition, all belongings of the deceased must be thrown away after 40 days.
There are also superstitions that say that on the bed on which a person died, his blood relatives should not sleep at all.
From an ethical point of view, the repair will only refresh the state of the mourners of the loss of people. It will help to get rid of things reminiscent of a person. Although many, in memory of a departed loved one, seek to keep for themselves some of what belongs to him. According to signs, this is again not worth doing. Therefore, the repair will be good decision in all cases.
Can I wash immediately or the day after the funeral?
There is such a sign that says that as long as the deceased is in the house, until he is buried, you cannot wash, so you pour mud on him. Some follow the rule for longer. This superstition has nothing to do with Orthodox teaching. But walking dirty for 9 or even 40 days is very difficult and completely unhygienic and unaesthetic, so you should think before blindly following all the rules and signs overheard somewhere. Beliefs are beliefs, but common sense should not be neglected.
Can I get a haircut after a funeral?
The Orthodox Church does not know this superstition in its history, but people believe and actively believe that sign that you can not cut your hair after a funeral.
From an aesthetic point of view, there is no reason to ban this procedure. So if necessary or desire, you can safely go to the hairdresser and get a haircut.
In general, with regard to signs and all kinds of superstitions regarding death, they often even contradict the canons of Orthodoxy. The church considers superstitions to be sinful echoes of the pagan past.
Can I clean up after the funeral?
While the dead in the house you can not clean and take out the trash. It is believed that the rest of the family members will die. When the deceased was taken out of the house, it is necessary to thoroughly wash the floor. It is forbidden for blood relatives to do this. The Orthodox Church also denies this point and considers it superstition. On the ethical side, there is nothing reprehensible about cleaning up after a funeral.
Should the children of the deceased participate in carrying the coffin?
Some believe that the children of the deceased, as the closest, after the spouse or wife, his relatives, do not participate in the carrying of the coffin, so as not to lose their prayerful mood and concentration at such an important moment in their lives. It's a delusion. It all depends on the specific situation. When leaving, relatives take with them the earth from the grave, so as not to be afraid of the deceased. Returning home, they put the earth in a washstand and wash themselves with water from this earth. The custom of washing oneself after coming from a funeral is certainly observed today in the urban environment.
Can pregnant women visit cemeteries?
There is also a belief that pregnant women should not go to the cemetery. In fact, some women are very emotional, and a visit to the cemetery, and often the accompanying hysteria, is harmful to the child.
Distribution of clothes and belongings of the deceased after the funeral: is it possible?
Many believe that the clothes of the deceased should not be given away during the forty-first days. But this is superstition. It is better to distribute the clothes of the deceased (as alms for him), or personal items as a keepsake to loved ones immediately after his death or immediately after death. Moreover, it is in the first forty days that it is necessary to intensively do alms and distribute the things of the deceased in order to propitiate God, the Righteous Judge, who will make a preliminary judgment on the soul on the fortieth day. Friends, in memory of a friend, may have books or some souvenirs that remind of the deceased. Especially if there was a testament or the will of the newly deceased, this should be done as soon as possible. The deceased is considered newly deceased until the fortieth day. When the wife of her husband is buried, in order to remarry, she must unbutton the bottom button of the shirt of the deceased. When someone dies, a “camping” bundle is collected for him: an onion, an iron cup, millet or rice, wooden spoon, thread with a needle. All this is given to those in need in order to be useful to the deceased in the next world.
What should be placed in the coffin of the deceased? Established superstitions and church recommendations.
One of the most common superstitions is that it is imperative to put a handkerchief in the hand of the deceased, and put the cross in left hand: “In the next world, God will scold him, and he will wipe his tears with a handkerchief, and right hand be baptized." During the reading of the psalter, a sieve is placed under the book - in order to "sift" the sins of the deceased. Some, when they read the Psalter for the deceased, put bread and water. This custom is folk, dating back to paganism, and has no basis in the canons and traditions of the Church. Therefore, one should not put water and bread when reading the Psalter for the deceased. Some put a stick or twig in the coffin of the deceased. This custom, like most beliefs around the church, comes from ignorance. In the past, in order to make a coffin according to the height of a person, the deceased was measured by "twilight", that is, the length of the "twilight" corresponded to the height of the deceased. This "twilight" was placed in the coffin with the dead. It does not have any religious symbols of "twilight", so you do not need to put any sticks in the coffin.
How should the funeral meal end?
There is a custom to end the funeral meal with a sip of jelly with milk. Some priests currently recommend on fasting days cow's milk replace with soy milk. (However, this contradicts that soy products cannot be used, because they are all genetically modified).
Another superstition: Superstitions keep track of which foot the priest enters the house where the deceased is: if with the right, then it’s good, if with the left, it’s bad. While the deceased is lying at home, they throw a knife into a tub of drinking water so that the deceased does not drink water from this tub at night. During the time that the deceased is in the house, they do not lend any of the products, and also do not give fire to anyone from the house.
If the owner or mistress of the house dies: If the owner or mistress dies, then all doors and exits are tied with a red cord or thread so that the household does not follow the owner.
Superstitions about the coffin and stools: When the coffin is taken out for parting, it is placed on stools. As soon as it is lifted, it is necessary to quickly grab them and turn them upside down. - "so that another coffin does not lie on these stools." The stools on which the coffin stood can only be corrected by touching the seat to the ground, this again makes the stools usable, or vice versa, depending on the region, they rush to sit on this chair so that "all troubles die."
Caring for a loved one even after his death: In some places, after the funeral, for three nights in a row, they light a wax candle in the house where the deceased lay, put two bread and two apples, put a mug of water or a glass of vodka on each fire for the soul of the deceased, so that the deceased could come to his house and eat for three days.
How not to scare away the guardian angel?
In some places, it is believed that after the death of a person, his guardian angel stays in the house of the deceased for another forty days, and therefore, during this period, the peasants in many places did not sit under the goddess (there is an angel). And on the fortieth day, one or two women traditionally saw off the angel (according to other beliefs, the soul of the deceased) with bread, salt and beer. (the type of beer could not be determined).
superstition about whether it is necessary to leave a deceased person in a room alone even for a moment: A dead person is never left alone: neither when he lies, nor when he dies. This custom is explained by the fact that on the right side of the body worthy of God stand invisibly, and on the left - devils "and pull the soul: this one is for themselves, and this one is for themselves." The presence of living people helps the righteous to "pull" the soul of the deceased. Tears, if they are shed over the deceased, interfere with a calm departure and make it difficult to die. Those who succumb to unbridled grief in such circumstances are said to "cry back the dying man." They are predicted in the future retribution for such selfishness - they will lose speech, or hearing, or another gift, or some other misfortune will befall them. Therefore, sometimes they invite for a fee, the so-called mourners, and they cry for all their relatives. Some mourners are real professional artists.
The guardian angel watches over a person from heaven, from the "window of God's chamber", which people see as a star, and writes down every earthly deed of a person entrusted to him in a heavenly book; when a person dies, the heavenly window slams shut and people can see how a star falls “from the heights of heaven onto the chest of the earth” - this is an angel flying for the soul of the deceased. Hence the belief - if you see a shooting star and, before it goes out, you have time to make a wish, it will certainly come true, since the angel on this path does not refuse anyone and nothing and will fulfill the desire, or, according to another belief, will convey the request to the Lord . A sweet superstition, if only to replace making a wish to an angel star with a prayer.
Old beliefs about the death of sorcerers: Sorcerers are believed to die, always in terrible agony, so in the past in the villages it used to be that the roof of the house was taken apart to make it easier for his soul to part with the body. After death, the sorcerer "did not give rest" until, like drowned men, he was nailed to the ground with an aspen stake.
On the funeral of suicides: It happens that the priest refuses to perform the Church commemoration and burial according to the rites of the Orthodox Church due to the fact that the deceased was a suicide. Here it must be remembered that intentional suicides, murdered robbers or those killed in a duel are deprived of their Christian burial. It is necessary to distinguish from them people who have taken their own lives by negligence (unintentional fall from a height, drowning in water, poisoning with stale food, violation of safety regulations at work, etc.). This also includes suicide committed as a result of a mental disorder, under the influence of large doses of alcohol, and so on. But the debt of love allows close relatives to ask God for forgiveness of such a person in home prayer.
Priests comment on the funeral of suicides in this way: “Suicide is the unauthorized deprivation of oneself of life in a state of despair, extreme despondency, wounded pride, loss of any meaning in life. The common spiritual ground for all manifestations of this mortal sin is unbelief and lack of hope in God. A person commits suicide in a state of severe spiritual illness. Such a high manifestation of love for God and people has nothing to do with this, when a person sacrifices his life for faith, fatherland, people. “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. There is no greater love than if a man lays down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you” (John 15:12-14). The holy martyrs sacrificed their lives, having great love and devotion to God. History knows many examples when Christians had a choice, but preferred death. Hieromartyr Ignatius the God-bearer was taken to Rome in chains to be devoured by wild beasts. On the way to the capital of the empire, he learned that the Roman Christians intended to seek the abolition of the royal sentence of death. In the letter, he asked not to do this. The words of his letter are known, which expressed his great desire to become a sacrifice for the sake of Jesus Christ: "I am His wheat and I will be ground by the teeth of beasts to be His pure bread." He gave up the opportunity to stay alive. From the fullness of faith, he wanted to leave this life and unite with Christ. During the persecution, chaste maidens were in a very difficult situation, who, out of love for Christ, chose the path of a pure and virgin life. The persecutors, directed by the devil, sought to strike them at the very heart of their achievement—to dishonor them. The persecutors wanted to plunge them into the very mud in which they themselves lived (the pagan world at that time was greatly corrupted). Nicephorus Kallistos tells of two Antiochian virgins who, on the advice of their mother, threw themselves into the water to avoid disgrace. Other examples have come down to us. It is impossible not to see in these actions manifestations of sacrifice for the sake of moral purity, and not despair and unbelief. Not all of them are canonized. In glorifying some of them, the Church took into account the holiness of their previous lives.”
Serving a memorial service for a dead baby: Some ask to serve a memorial service for a dead baby. Panikhidas should not be served for an infant, it is enough to commemorate him at the liturgy. A memorial service is served for the forgiveness of the sins of the deceased, and the baby still does not have sins. During the Divine Liturgy, at the proskomedia, a sacrifice is made for everyone, including the saints, therefore, during the Liturgy, it is necessary to commemorate the dead babies.
Many pagan-Soviet superstitions exist in cemeteries: you can't say "thank you", you can say "thank you". You can’t say “goodbye”, otherwise you’ll “see you” soon, you have to say: “goodbye”, although in this case, no matter how long you say goodbye, the date is still guaranteed.
There are still many superstitions associated with the funeral of a person, but many of them were generated either from ancient traditions and distorted, or created on the basis of ethical considerations, or taken from religious beliefs.
Adhere to these norms or not - it depends only on you and your loved ones.
